The Beach

To me, growing up in New Jersey, the beach is at the ocean.  In upstate New York, the beach is at a lake.  Today we visited a state park and swam in Lake Ontario.

My sister and her kids are here visiting this week:-)

I Will Miss This

I will miss this when Cheney goes back to college.  I love watching the way they love each other.  I love seeing Davin's eyes follow Cheney until Cheney talks to him or goes over to him. 

Hands down, watching my kids' relationships has been one of the best things about being a mom. 

I Have Clearly Lost My Mind

Yesterday in Davin's communication notebook, I got a note saying that he is to be in charge of the limbo at school on Friday.  At first I thought it was because he is non-verbal and they were trying to find a way to include him.  Then, I thought about it and realized that all of the kids in his class are non-verbal and he is just probably the bossiest, so he got the job:-)  His teacher is very funny and loves Davin's sense of humor, so she asked me if Davin had a coconut bra to wear for the limbo contest.  I have clearly lost my mind because I went out today and bought one.

Another Lesson

One morning last week, Davin was not on board with the schedule.  I explained to him why we were on a very tight schedule and exactly what I needed him to do.  He did not feel like doing what I asked.  I was frustrated.  I gave a big speech about how Jesus was not very happy with his behavior and that neither was I.  I went on to add that life does not revolve around Davin and maybe he needs to stop living like it does.  How many times has my Heavenly Father probably had the same thought about me?  Heather, the whole world does not revolve around you, so maybe it is time to stop living like it does. 

I learn so much by teaching my kids.

The Same is GOOD!

Davin and I drove down to NJ yesterday and had his neuro appointment at 8 am this morning.  Now we are already back "home" in NY.  Thank you to all who prayed for our appointment.  I had such peace going to the appointment.  After I spoke with the neuro on the phone about a month ago, I was left wondering if Davin did not actually have CP, but had something that was changing.  Today I had all of my questions answered.

I have never had neurologist that I liked.  Never.  Until today:-)  Today we went in expecting to see the doctor that I spoke with on the phone, but instead we saw a nurse practitioner who was amazing.  She answered all of my questions.  She went over the results of the MRI with me bit by bit and explained everything.  She asked me a couple of different times if I had any additional questions.  She sat next to Davin and rubbed his arm every once in a while, looked in his eyes and smiled at him.  Davin was acting like wild thing, but it was funny. 

Today I learned the underlying cause for Davin's CP and for the severity of his CP.  He has a condition that happened when his tiny little brain was first developing.  The NP said that I probably didn't even know I was pregnant when all of this happened.  There is some possibility that genetics is involved.  The NP is going to speak with the geneticist and let me know if she feels we should dig further. The only reason it matters at all is just for our other children to know.  Finding out anything else does not change anything for Davin. 

And that, my friend, is the good news!!  He is the SAME!!  The things that his MRI showed are not new things.  They are things that happened and all explain his CP.  I am assuming the MRIs are different or this information is different than it was 18 years ago when Davin was diagnosed and had his only other MRI. 

The other cool thing that God did through this is that He let me off the hook.  When other people would talk about kids with disabilities they might say things like "God doesn't make mistakes".  I, of course, know this to be true, but  never felt like it applied to our situation.  Generally CP is a brain injury that happens before, during or right after birth.  When Davin was diagnosed, the wonderful (I jest;-) neurologist told me that there was no reason to investigate why Davin has CP because it would just make someone feel guilty.  Can you guess who took on that guilt?  Yup, that was me.  I was always afraid I had someone hurt Davin or allowed him to be hurt.  Today I am freed of that.  Thank you Jesus. 

By the time I got to the appointment today, I knew that if Davin's condition was getting worse or if it was staying the same, I had the same huge God walking beside me and everything was in His hands.  He has equipped me for the journey so far and He will continue.

My Least Favorite

Davin has a doctor appointment tomorrow with my least favorite kind of doctor.....the neurologist.  Apparently the MRI that he had done in April came back with a lot of abnormalities, etc (which is weird since when he had his first one done, I think the doctor said it was "normal" whatever that meant).  He had not had one done since he was an infant, so we do not know if things look differently or not.  It is not an appointment that I am looking forward to, but I also have peace.  Oh, how these neurologists can rock my world.  If you would pray for me tomorrow, I would appreciate it.  My biggest concern is that I will have wisdom as to if Davin needs to leave the room when the doctor is talking.  There is no reason for Davin to feel badly about himself and I need discernment for the right time, if any, to let my sister take him out with her.  I have peace, but I sure will be glad when it is over. 

Would I?

I live in the world of "different". I live in the world of "doing things another way". I live in the world of "disabilities". I didn't choose to live in this world, though. (and of course, you know I went kicking and screaming as is my usual course:-)




Today I was pondering how I got here versus how many other families get here. I read a lot of blogs about adoptions. There are so many families that choose to live in the world of "different". Would I? If God had not chosen this path for me, would I have been able to choose it for myself?



I am very thankful for the view from here...this world that is slightly different. The perspective is different from here and I am so blessed to be able to see it.

The Best Part

The best part of the morning was the bus pulling up and my friend "A" waving to me!!  "A" happens to sport an extra chromosome and he waves to me most every day when Davin gets dropped off.  For summer school, he is on the bus in the morning, so that was a BONUS!  I am not sure I would recognize "A" if I saw him in person somewhere.  I only see him through the bus' tinted window, but he sure brightens my day:-)

The Fun Continued!

Whew!!  We packed a bunch of fun into one week!!  We finished off the week by taking a family trip to the Corning Glass Museum.  Did you know that kids and teens are free, there??  Fantastic!! 

Even my biggest boy (who wasn't free because he is no longer a teen:-) enjoyed the day and took one of the classes.  Watching Cheney in his class, reminded me of when he was 7 and took an art class.  Head down, concentrating on the task at hand.   Alan took a class, too, and made me a necklace.  I can't wait to get it in the mail!! 

Best part of the trip...spending the day with my best guys! 

Cheney may have bought a special prize for "someone", but sorry I cannot show a picture of that;-)  She sometimes reads this blog and I don't want to ruin the surprise!

When you go to school in the summer, you need to cram a lot of fun into a couple of weeks of summer!!  So, we have been busy doing some fun things with Davin.  In the picture above, Davin is moving a can up a belt to feed a goat that was just waiting and waiting for some food.  Davin is not unhappy here although it does look like he is. 

We went out for dinner to Sticky Lips and enjoyed our boys. 

We picked cherries with our friends that Daddy and big brother later got to enjoy:-) 

Davin pumped water.

It has been so nice to have Davin home for a couple of weeks.  He is enjoying sleeping in and having some lazy days in addition to our busy, fun-filled days!  Tomorrow, we are off to Corning for a visit to the glass museum and Norman Rockwell Museum.  Don't you just love summer?

Doesn't Get Any Sweeter..

It doesn't get any sweeter than watching your littlest boy hold out his hand for your biggest boy to take it and then watching the biggest boy know right away what the littlest wanted and hold his hand while walking down the street. 

Too bad I couldn't get my camera out fast enough. 

Another Difference

Alan and I have been on a journey together.  We are walking the same path, but we walk it quite differently. Our goals are even different, and yet the journey so much the same.  At the beginning of the year, Alan decided he was going to eat healthier.  After much kicking and screaming:-), I jumped on board a couple of months later.  We have been exercising five days a week, we are always looking for ways to get "more cardio", and we eat very differently than we used to.  Fast food has basically been cut from our diet and although we do splurge sometimes, we really think through our choices. 

We have both been loosing weight steadily.  Alan's whole goal in this is to be healthier.  He tells me over and over again that it is NOT about the weight.  It is about his overall health.  I, on the other hand, announce every half a pound shed with my hands up in the air and my knee bowed like I have just won some great prize!  Next, I sent out texts to my girls and my sister.  Alan rarely ever mentions his weight even when I am bugging him to tell me!!  He really believes his philosophy and I really believe mine.  My goal is to weigh a certain amount and I love to see my clothes get looser and try on things that were tight before.  Alan tries to tell me that his clothes always fit that way and there is no difference. 

The best thing about our journey is that we have been doing this together.  We are supportive of each other and feel like we are on the same team.  We are both excited when I buy a new healthy cookbook and give a new recipe a try. 

It sure is nice to have him, even if we are just a little bit different.

All About the Food

Tonight Alan, Davin and I went down to a local fish hatchery and park. Davin quickly caught on (because he is so stinkin smart:-) that some other people were feeding the fish.  He nicely pointed out the fish food dispensers so that his Daddy could get him some to feed the fish.  After that, Davin pointed out every single dispenser even though he was told repeatedly that we were done feeding the fish for the night. 

Because we live in upstate NY, we had to go out for icecream afterwards:-)  I have never lived in a place where going out for icecream was such a way of life.  I love it!

D4D

We just had the 10th annual Duffers for Davin golf tournament.  I am so humbled when I think about the last 10 years and God's provision for Davin to attend intensive physical therapy.  Some of our faithful golfers and sponsors first started with us back when Davin was 9 years old.  We are blessed. 

That R Word

I know I used to use it.  I know I am extra sensitive about how harsh it sounds now.  I read a lot of comments on facebook that use the word retarded and I cringe.  Somehow it hurts me to read it, to hear it.  I have heard my kids say it.  I read a lot of posts on facebook that use that word in their status updates.  Sometimes I want to respond, but I usually don't...until the other day.

A couple of days ago, a teenager that I know used it.  He was comparing something that he didn't think was very good to someone who was retarded.  I thought and decided to write something.  I simply said that the item he was talking about must be amazing and wonderful.  He got it.

Very shortly after I left the comment, the post was totally deleted and I had a sweet message in my inbox.  He said he was very sorry for insulting me and Davin and that he was glad I had said something and that it helped him to grow.  What a sweet boy.  He would NEVER have hurt Davin on purpose.  Never.  I told him that I knew that. 

So, maybe that is how we make a difference....one person at a time:-)

His First Baby Girl

My girls have always adored their Daddy.  Our Ashleigh and her Daddy fell in love the moment they met.  Alan was not present for her actual birth, but met her when she was about 9 hours old.  It was love at first sight....on both sides. 

When Ashleigh was little, Alan was away a lot since he was in the Navy.  She had such a hard time handling long periods of time without her Daddy.  When Alan was gone on a med-cruise for 6 months, she carried around a picture of Alan holding her when she was a newborn and she would not just cry...she would sob....she would wail.  It broke my heart. 

Alan and Ashleigh are alike in so many ways and that always gave them a bond while Ashleigh was growing up.  She always felt like her Dad handled her much better than I did during some difficult times in her life.  I don't necessarily agree with that statement, but I am glad she sees things that way;-)

Now that Ashleigh is married, she doesn't spend as much time with her Dad, but she loves him just the same.  Alan just got the sweetest note from her for Father's Day and it meant so much to him.  There is just something special about a Daddy and his girl.

Tired

After a week at camp and a super early morning today with Davin's golf tournament, Davin is exhausted!! 

By the way, camp was a huge success.  If only I could get some information out of Davin, though.  I guess what happens at Handi-camp stays at Handi-camp:-)

He is There.....

We spent all weekend packing up and making sure Davin had everything he needed for camp.  It was all a bit overwhelming to try to write down everything that his counselor needed to know, but thankfully I have a bossy boy and Davin will help his counselor out if needed:-) 

This morning, Davin, Ashleigh and I headed out and drove an hour to Camp Malaga.  Davin was checked out (he offered to show his stomach, of course, but they did not find that necessary), checked in, and got a new camp t-shirt.  (Of course we put it on right away!)  I stayed for a little while and showed Sam (Davin's counselor) where I had put things in his bag and then showed how I feed him. 

Then, it was time....I wasn't sure how I would feel leaving him, but I just knew.  I knew it was time.  He was ready to start the camp experience and he couldn't do that while I was there.  God was gracious and gave me enough time to feel comfortable that Davin was in great hands.  It also helped that his counselor has been doing this for 20 years. God so knows I am a baby step kind of girl. 

Here is a picture of Davin and Sam:-)

P.S.  I have already received a phone call from the camp nurse.  Just Davin up to his old tricks:-)

Big Kids

I have been the mom of big kids for quite a while now.  It is not the same as being a mom to younger children.  It is an amazing time, but it is very different.  There are a few things that I have learned so far and have been pondering...

Be a cheerleader!  The bigger my kids got, the more I saw a need for a lot of positive reinforcement and less correcting.  This is a hard one for me to work on.  When I see things that need work, I want to address them, but have found it better to bite my tongue a  lot more.  (At times to the point of it bleeding!)  It is also very difficult because the bigger the kids, the bigger the problems can be, but I want to be that Mom that my kids know is in their corner and believes in them.  The training has been done (well, most of it;-) and now it is time for them to use what they have learned.

Put your hands on them!  Especially when my kids started getting into their teenage years, they would not always want me to touch them anymore.  I did not let that stop me.  I continued to love on them, hug them, and touch them when I was talking with them.  I am convinced this continues to show love to them.  Even now, when I put my arm around my 20 year-old Cheney during church, he doesn't get upset with me.  I think he still sees it as love.  (Maybe inside he doesn't;-)

Be Dear Abby!  Although I try not to address every issue I see in my children's lives, I try to be available for those times when they want advice or to talk something through.  I try to make that a priority, even over the other important things in my day.  Just yesterday, my biggest girl called me and I was in a store.  I usually hate to answer the phone when I am in a store, but I just slid into an aisle where there weren't other people and we had a great conversation about a big decision she was making.  I try to be better about listening and helping them sort things out. 

I still have so much to figure out, but I am thankful for this time of life...a time when I look forward to being with them, talking with them and enjoying their company.

I Know the Look

This is my fourth time around having an 18-year-old in my house and all that comes along with that.  I have raised at least one very verbal child, at least one medium verbal child and one non-verbal child.  All of them, no matter how verbal, had the look to go with the saying "I am 18 years old and I will do what I want."  It has become kind of a joke in our house.  I am guessing since the world says that at 18, you are officially grown, that my kids have bought into that big time and we spent a lot of their 18th year hearing that familiar phrase and seeing the look that goes along with it.  Just because Davin is non-verbal, don't think I don't see the same look and I KNOW what he is thinking. 

This morning was one of those mornings.  I had to remind him over and over again what our purpose was during breakfast.  He knows we have a strict schedule in the mornings and I am pretty sure he is familiar with the routine by now!  It seemed that he had other plans for today, though.  After a rather frustrating breakfast time, Davin looked at me rather pleased with himself and I saw it.....the look.  It was as if I could read his mind.  I know.  I know.  You are 18 and you will do what you want. 

Quite a Difference

I find it so interesting that in order for me to welcome an adopted child into my home, I am asked if I have screens in all of my windows, what my childhood was like and how I dealt with my grandmothers passing away.  To welcome a biological child into my home, I only needed to produce a satisfactory car seat.  To raise a child that has a severe disability, I was simply sent on my way with a list of tests to further overwhelm me. 

Of course, I will do it, because it is so worth it, but what a difference. 

Mercies in Disguise

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise  - by Laura Story






I have heard this song before.  I love the words.  I heard it in the car twice yesterday and it spoke to me differently this time.  I found myself looking back.  Looking back at those times in my life where the bottom seemed to have fallen out and I was lying in a heap with no hope in sight.  Dark days.  Days where my very soul seemed to have been crushed and I could not catch my breath. 

I can look back on those times and see God's hand in my life during those times in such a huge way.  The devastating thing that was happening at the time was God's very best for me.  It did not feel like it was at the time.  It did not feel gracious.  It did not feel loving.  It did not feel kind, but it was.  That is the kind of God I serve.  He is the kind of God who blesses me above what I deserve. 

I immediately thought back to that day on June 11, 1993.  "He has cerebral palsy.  Any questions?" My "perfect" world was rocked to its core.  How in the world could that be what God wanted for me??  It was.  For many years, I compared. It seemed like God had given me "less" than what he had given other people.  Not who Davin was, but what he could do v. what I thought he should be doing.  It was hard to sit in the nursery.  It was hard to have a bunch of kids over to play.  Hard to go to the park.  I just thought about how "different" everything was.  I can honestly say that taking Davin to his dinner/dance last night, I felt none of that.  No regrets with what Davin can do or who he is.  Maybe it once was a blessing in disguise, but not any longer. 
God allowed my world to rock when my Daddy had a traumatic brain injury combined with a staff infection in his heart.  Life would never go back to the exact way it was.  However, in the last 8 years, I have spent a day a week with my Dad almost every single week up until moving a few months ago.  As difficult as that was, there were so many blessings. 

Sometimes it is almost as if I have in my mind where God "should" take my life and I am on my way there.  Then, he lovingly changes MY course to be his course. 

Tears...yup, I cried buckets full.  Sleepless nights....absolutely.  I am thankful that God loves me too much to give me lesser things.

A Little Dinner, A Lot of Dancing!

Yesterday when Davin got home from school, the preparations began.  I had his pants and shirt ironed.  His tie was out.  His dress shoes were ready.  He was going to his school's dinner/dance to celebrate the graduates!!  Davin could not like dancing anymore than he does!!  (I wish I had some pictures of the dance, but I was strongly encouraged not to stay.  Hmph!!)

When we picked him up he was hot and sweaty from all of the grooving he did!!


This is what Davin is doing tonight after his big night out last night!!

A Favorite Trick

Each of our Pastors over the years has been "blessed" by a different trick of Davin's.  I like to think of them as a little test for the pastor.  Frankly, it helps us to know if that is a church for us if the pastor can work through that.  If a pastor can't deal with Davin's special little tricks during the sermon, and if it makes him too distracted, then we probably shouldn't be there. 

Let's see, Pastor Vansant dealt with a lot of tricky things.  I guess one of the biggest tests was Davin bursting into tears any time there was a skit or something he thought might be scary.  We caused our share of scenes there:-)  Pastor Green put up with a lot of shouting!!!  Davin was just shy of being a teenager when we started going to Pastor Green's church and for some reason, Davin really liked people to know he was there.  We would remind him over and over again, but there was a time where we had to just stick it out and deal with his loudness.  He was taken out of a lot of services, but eventually that became the trick, so we stuck it out and things eventually got better.  Pastor Green was a trooper and never seemed to be distracted and we even joked about Davin's test for him:-)  Our new church is blessed by a trick that has been used for a long time, but sparingly.  Now, this trick has been brought to the top of the favorite list and the very best place to perform it is during the morning service at church.  (Okay, also small group:-) 

Davin's new favorite is that he loves to lift his shirt and show you his stomach.  Not just a little, either.  Now this is a quiet trick, so that is a bonus.   It is not just a shirt lift, but he also looks around to see who might be watching.  Hmm, not sure he is paying enough attention to the sermon. 

I know that he has worked very hard for his abs with all of his exercises and so I don't really blame him.  This trick is not exclusive to church, but it is used most often there.  If you come to our house, he will show you (especially if you are visiting us for the first time), when we go to doctor appointments, he likes to show the doctor.  I know what you are thinking.  What kind of mother does he have who lets him lift his shirt all during church and regularly smiles when I see it? 

Today we visited a church in York, PA.  Davin probably had his shirt up for at least half of the service.  I tried to keep on a handle on things and pull it back down, but he had a pretty tight grip, had it hiked up as far as he possibly could and felt really strongly that he should be doing that.  Oh dear;-)

My Struggle

I have been mulling this over for a while now, but lately, I feel it's grip has a much stronger hold on me than before and it is time to make a change. 

I have a lot of "free" time.  For the first time in a very long time, my days are not planned out for me by children or ministries or a job.  I can choose what I want to do.  Since finding all of this free time, the computer has kept me connecting with friends and family and I am grateful for that.  However, it has become a huge time-waster for me.  Instead of taking out a project or reading a book, I grab the computer to just check my blog or facebook or email one more time.  I am spending more and more time on it and I have not too much to show for it.  I do not want to give it up altogether (although am considering that, too), but I need to make a change. 

A friend offered to do an intervention for me:-), but I am thinking more along the lines of limiting my daily time on the computer.  I am also thinking about going off of facebook for a while, at least.  There are so many good and worthwhile things to do with my time.  Certainly one of them is to stay connected with my family and friends, but when it starts to overwhelm me, it is time for a change. 

The Next Best Thing

I think the next best thing to having my girls here is to spend time with Bethany Ann.  Some of you may recognize her:-)  Bethany and her son Josh came over for dinner tonight.  I made Josh some cookies special for him and sent him a bag full to take home and share with his Daddy.

Josh had a great time checking out Davin's wheelchair and playing with Buzz Lightyear.  Alan, Davin and Josh wrestled for a while, but Josh did not care for it when Alan was winning.  They tried thumb wrestling and that went a bit better.  Come again Josh and I will have the cookies ready for you!!  (You, too, Bethany Ann:-)

Rib Fest

Today we went to The Rib Fest with some friends.  It was such a beautiful day and we got to try some really tasty ribs.  There were 7 different rib places there and during the time we were there, you could try one of their ribs for "A Buck a Bone".  The drill was that you waited in line and got your rib and then while eating your rib, you waited in the next line.  We had a great time chatting while we were eating and my favorite of the day was the Jacked Up BBQ ribs from Forked River, NJ.   

Cheney's girlfriend Renee is here visiting us, so it was fun to take her along:-)


                                     

A Challenge

Alan challenged Cheney to arm wrestle tonight.  I thought it was a risk.  Was tonight the night that his son was stronger than he is??  Not yet:-)  He still gets to hold the title....for now;-)

Davin also wanted in on the challenge, of course!

Davin's Day in Court

He is officially ours again!!  Court went very well last week, although I was wondering in the morning when Davin and Cheney were laughing and carrying on if the judge was going to get more than he bargained for in court.  However, when the judge came in, Davin was very serious and did not make a peep. 

Before the judge came in, Davin wanted to know all about he different parts of the courtroom.  He specifically felt very strongly that he should go sit in the jury box.  He asked us if he could do that on two separate occasions.  I told him no, but later his attorney mentioned that he probably could.  No thank you.  I figured that could get him all stirred up and next thing you know he would be carrying on and lifting his shirt up.  (I don't know if I have mentioned on here, but he really loves to lift his shirt up.  When he meets someone, when he is sitting in church, at the doctor's office, anywhere really:-)  We decided that he would stay where he was and do what he was supposed to do and he was a very obedient boy. 

The judge was only concerned that we were not still NJ residents.  The only questions I had to answer were questions about this being our temporary place of residents.  Once he was satisfied, he was satisfied that we were indeed still NJ residents, he said that Davin obviously needs a guardian.  I was very thankful that I did not have to ask the questions concerning me being his guardian and taking care of him and what that requires.  I just knew that would make me very emotional and I didn't feel like I needed to bare my soul and emotions in front of the judge.  I just want my boy. He is now twice ours.  Good deal.  We will take him!!

Davin Bruce, welcome to the family again:-)

Off to Court We Go

Tomorrow we head to court with Davin to hopefully get the guardianship stuff all taken care of.  There could be some issues, so we appreciate prayers that all goes well.  I am thinking it will be an emotional day, but not really sure what to expect.  Davin's attorney assured me that nothing would be said that would hurt Davin's feelings, and that had been my biggest concern. 

Hopefully tomorrow that boy will be all ours again and we can continue to do what we have been doing for the last 18 years:-)

To Camp or Not to Camp...that is the question

I believe that Cheney was nine years old the first time he went to summer camp.  That would make Davin to have been seven.  I knew Davin would miss Cheney not being home, but I never expected his reaction at the camp.  You see, my boys slept in bunk beds.  Cheney slept on the top bunk and Davin slept on the bottom bunk at home.  When we went to get Cheney's stuff unloaded into his cabin, he chose a top bunk and we got him all set up.  I didn't notice, at first, that Davin was staring at the bottom bunk.  When we went to leave the camp, Davin was furious.  He is rarely furious.  He struggled to keep me from putting him into his car seat and he cried and cried.  I finally figured out that Davin saw that the bottom bunk under Cheney was free and he figured that must be for him.  He wanted to stay.  Davin got a camp t-shirt that day and a lot of sympathy from me.  It made sense. 

I know that Davin is a "camp kind of boy".  He loves to be outside.  He loves people.  He loves having fun.  He loves doing what everybody else is doing. 

I have thought of sending Davin to camp for quite a few years now, but it was only an idea.  My blogger friend Tracey has sent me some information about the wonderful Joni camps and highly recommended them.  I checked into those, but they were all full for our area.  I had checked into another camp as well that is in our area and they have room for Davin and now they have our deposit and we have had an interview. 

I find myself going back and forth, though.  Can I really do this?  Can I leave Davin at a camp to be cared for by people I don't know for FIVE days?  I am not sure. 

At the end of our interview, the people from the camp told me they think Davin will be an excellent fit for camp.  I told them my concerns and they sweetly said that only I can decide if I can actually send him.  Do you think they would notice me sleeping on the floor next to his bed?? 

There are so many things that Davin does not get to do.  That cannot be avoided and although he is sometimes annoyed, he really handles the disappointment well for the most part.  Camp is something that he can do, but can I let him?  My world has gotten pretty small in the last seven years as far as Davin's care is concerned.  We do not ask our parents to watch him anymore really because it is more than they can handle.  The only people that care for Davin overnight are the five of us.  I guess that is the beauty of Davin being the youngest of four kids and with him being so much smaller than they are.  Ashleigh, Bethany and Cheney all can take care of him.  I trust them completely. 

I know that some of my fears are just being overprotective and some of my fears are very real concerns.  Some of those very significant problems that I have been concerned about seem to be correcting themselves, so now I am thinking.....maybe.....?????

Scuff Marks

For the last two days, I have had to clean scuff marks off of my kitchen floor.  Instead of those scuff marks making me annoyed, they made me smile.  Those marks reminded me that my bigger boy is home now.  Sure, he brings with him some mess that we didn't have before he got here, but I will take it because he is here.  Those marks on the floor also reminded me God's provision for Cheney for the summer.  Due to Cheney's sweet friend, (who happens to be my sweet friend's son:-), Cheney came home from college on Friday and began a FULL TIME job on MONDAY!!!  In order to start the job, he had to get work boots and that is how I got the scuffs on my floor. 

Will those scuff marks still be bringing a smile to my face in the middle of July?  Perhaps not, but I hope they still remind me of God's blessings. 

A Bonus with Bigger Kids

It is Mother's Day weekend and I was so excited that 3 of my kids were going to be here for the weekend!!  I was thrilled with just preparing for that, but then....  Davin came home from school on Friday with this beautiful Mother's Day gift for his Mama:-)

Isn't it beautiful??  I love presents like this.  I have it on my porch already:-) 

Then, we headed to the airport to pick up one Cheney Alan Scott and then when we got home, Bethany pulled into the driveway and had this very special surprise for Mother's Day for me!!

She surprised me and brought Baby Rocky Balboa!!!!  I was so excited since I miss my puppy so much. 

Well, all of that was amazing, but today first thing in the morning, our doorbell rung and these were waiting for me at the door.....

I have never ever had one of the creations from Edible Arrangements and we ate it for breakfast.  Yummy and beautiful!

Next, my middle kids snuck away for a while and came back and gave me these.....

What a spoiled Mom I am!!! I was thrilled just to have most of my kids with me.  (By the way, and for the record, Ashleigh and Kevin orchestrated the Edible Arrangement:-)   I have decided that one nice thing about my kids getting bigger (because we all know I whine a lot about them being older now;-) is that they have jobs and buy me presents!!! 

Happy Mother's Day to all of my beautiful blogger friends who are Moms!!

Words

I have heard Davin speak twice in his entire 18 years of life.  He said "I love you" twice during the same car ride and if my mom and sister had not been in the car to verify it, I would have thought I had lost my mind.  That was years and years ago and I know it must seem sad to other people to think of having a non-verbal son, but I don't really think of Davin that way.  He expresses himself so beautifully and is quite bossy even. 

A couple of days ago, I asked Davin three questions in a row and he answered me either by nodding or gestures.  He did so well answering my questions so quickly and I was so proud of him for thinking everything through so quickly.  I told him he was so smart...and he ANSWERED ME OUT LOUD!!!  He said UH HUH!!!! 

Now, if your child speaks all the time, you may correct them when they say "uh huh".  I would and have:-)  But, if your child does not speak, and he says UH HUH, you go crazy!  Tears well up in your eyes and you gush over him about answering you with words. 

Thank you God for the unexpected blessings that you give me every day.

Being Awake is Probably Key

I should probably wait to discuss something so serious with Davin as segregation and the Freedom Ride until Davin is awake:-)   I was discussing this subject with him, but turned to look at him and realized he was asleep.

This is such an incredible subject to me.  How can we ever think that someone is less than someone else because of the color of their skin?  Every one of us is created in the image of God!!

Our Cares

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7

I once had a little girl who was often anxious.  She sucked two of her little fingers and even as she grew she continued this habit when she felt nervous or anxious.  I remember asking her one day when she was in second grade if she got embarrassed at school when she was sucking her fingers since she was now so big.  She told me that she would simply put her head under her desk so it was no worry:-) 

That little girl did stop sucking her fingers during her second grade year, but immediately took up biting her nails...another anxiety soothing activity. 

As she grew, she went to the Word, she took her cares to her Lord and Savior, but she still struggled. 

She also did some really fantastic things and was so brave, but as the end of high school drew near and decisions needed to be made about college, those anxieties came out once again.  It all ended with a Mom and Dad leaving a very angry daughter at Word of Life Bible Institute. They parted with very heavy hearts. 

Ashleigh has learned to trust and to get over her anxieties for the most part in her life. 

A few months ago, Ashleigh started having some health problems.  At first, she tried coping. She wanted to see if the problems were stress related.  Eventually she could not ignore them, and became proactive about going to doctors and having some tests done. 

I believe the computer can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.  For someone who struggles with anxiety, reading about all of the things you could possibly have can be a bit of a curse.  Being someone who is anxious at times, makes it very hard not to read all the information. 

Ashleigh has stopped reading the information online.  She also just had several tests done and they all came back negative.  The doctor who first diagnosed her with a stomach infection may or may not have been correct says a specialist.  So, what is going on?  Ashleigh is left wondering if the beginning symptoms caused her so much worry added in with the extra online information that she has become very sick. 

I often find it so funny? that with all of the temptations in the world, Satan often uses the same one on us over and over again. He doesn't always need to be very resourceful. When we are prone to a certain weakness, he can use that one over and over again. I know he has done that in my life and I find myself learning the same lessons over and over again and wonder when I will ever GET it!

So, Ashleigh will continue to try to figure out what is going on physically while at the same time trying to give everything over to the Lord and rest in His care for her.  I am proud of her. 

I am praying for you, Loubie and I love you very much!!

P.S.  Did I forget to mention that the little girl above once had a young mom who thought she was sick and was often throwing up through the night?  Later, that young mom found out it was her nerves.  How quickly I forget where I once was;-)