I must say that it is rather strange to re-move into a home. There is also something very comfortable about it. The area is not new, the house is not new. It fits.
We moved back to our little house on the meadow one week ago. Davin and I have been packing, unpacking and sorting for almost two weeks now. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that Davin is over it! He is ready for his life to have a little fun in it and I am pretty sure he does not want to see me organize one more closet or unpack one more box. Poor Davin. Last night we did take a little break and head over to my in-laws for some dinner and visiting. Davin was thrilled.
I feel like I have a new attitude since coming back. Maybe God needed to move me away to deal with my heart. There was time that was wasted since living in NJ. I never seemed to quite be settled in some ways. I kept waiting for something else to happen. When we move into our own house... When we put an addition on the house... You get the picture. So do I. No more living like that.
So, I have taken our cute little house and organized it like crazy. I have hung new pictures on the wall and taken a lot of time to arrange the furniture. It feels like home.
I have one more room to tackle today to make my goal for the week. You see, a certain Cheney Boy is coming home from vacation with Renee's family tomorrow. He will be here for one week and then be moving back to college and onto the rest of his life. I am ready to suck every second out of the next week with my boy.
I feel like singing, "I've Got a New Attitude"!!!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Learning
I learned a lot of things in the last week. We had our first opportunity to have foster children in our home. They were here for a very short time, but there were so many lessons learned.
*I can't do this if Alan is not with me. If he ends up with a job traveling all the time, we would have to change our course.
*I absolutely can be a parent to a child who has a different shade of skin color than me:-) This has never been an issue for me, but this last week just confirmed that in my heart. Color just doesn't matter. I am very thankful for my school years where I learned this lesson.
*Having children in my home is HARD.
*Davin needs to have his own room for many reasons.
*Alan and I are a team.
*Instead of looking for children who are already freed for adoption, it is my hope that we are the first home that our kids come to, that we can all work through the issues together and that they will remain in our home until they become freed for adoption. (Even if that means that we have foster kids and they don't end up staying with us forever before we end up with the kids God has for us.)
I don't want to write any specifics of our time, but I will share that it was much harder than I even could have imagined. In the end, though, both Alan and I decided that God has called us to this and we will continue to walk this path.
I can tell you that there were tears, there were frustrations, but there were also smiles, laughs and funny things said.
*I can't do this if Alan is not with me. If he ends up with a job traveling all the time, we would have to change our course.
*I absolutely can be a parent to a child who has a different shade of skin color than me:-) This has never been an issue for me, but this last week just confirmed that in my heart. Color just doesn't matter. I am very thankful for my school years where I learned this lesson.
*Having children in my home is HARD.
*Davin needs to have his own room for many reasons.
*Alan and I are a team.
*Instead of looking for children who are already freed for adoption, it is my hope that we are the first home that our kids come to, that we can all work through the issues together and that they will remain in our home until they become freed for adoption. (Even if that means that we have foster kids and they don't end up staying with us forever before we end up with the kids God has for us.)
I don't want to write any specifics of our time, but I will share that it was much harder than I even could have imagined. In the end, though, both Alan and I decided that God has called us to this and we will continue to walk this path.
I can tell you that there were tears, there were frustrations, but there were also smiles, laughs and funny things said.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Double Life
I am almost finished living a double life. It hasn't been a secret double life, but it has been a double life in so many ways. I am kind of a resident of two states. I have two homes. I do continue to keep my same husband in both lives, though, so I think that is good;-)
One week from tomorrow, I will have my apartment packed up and ready to head back to my little house on the meadow and my other three kids. This will be move #18 for me, I believe.
I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing. No mistake about it, I have missed being near my older kids!! I have missed my little house on the meadow. I have missed my dog:-) (Bethany, don't argue!) I have missed our extended families and some dear friends. It will be wonderful to be back.
But....I still consider upstate NY home. I can't help it. It is the place where I have spent the majority of my adult life. I have the most memories with my kids here. I have wonderful friends and a great church. I like the pace of life in Rochester and I love the people here. Davin's school here is AMAZING!
I live two lives, but not for long now.
One week from tomorrow, I will have my apartment packed up and ready to head back to my little house on the meadow and my other three kids. This will be move #18 for me, I believe.
I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing. No mistake about it, I have missed being near my older kids!! I have missed my little house on the meadow. I have missed my dog:-) (Bethany, don't argue!) I have missed our extended families and some dear friends. It will be wonderful to be back.
But....I still consider upstate NY home. I can't help it. It is the place where I have spent the majority of my adult life. I have the most memories with my kids here. I have wonderful friends and a great church. I like the pace of life in Rochester and I love the people here. Davin's school here is AMAZING!
I live two lives, but not for long now.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"
-Philippians 1:6
What a blessing this verse was to me this morning as I prepared for my Bible study this evening. I have been stressed and concerned over some things that are out of my control. I have seen God at work and I know He will continue it.
-Philippians 1:6
What a blessing this verse was to me this morning as I prepared for my Bible study this evening. I have been stressed and concerned over some things that are out of my control. I have seen God at work and I know He will continue it.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Juice Fast Acceptable Alterations
At least these are my acceptable alterations. Alan would disagree with me;-)
1. Chocolate covered raisins continue to be a healthy snack and you may eat a few if you just "need a little something sweet", especially if you have just had some juice heavy on the broccoli and wanted to vomit.
2. If your body is needing a piece of chicken, EAT THE PIECE OF CHICKEN....and I did:-)
3. Since you make up the amount of days you want to do the juice fast, you may change the number of days without guilt.
On a serious note (well, the above is pretty serious, too), we did get a lot out of the juice fast. Alan totally did the juice fast for three days, not the original five, but he felt like he had no energy. I decided to eat one meal a day and for my body that worked great. I think we will keep juicing in our eating plan at least for one meal a day. Currently, we are still juicing at breakfast and feel great getting such a good blend of nutrition right after working out.
Probably the biggest problem for me is me:-) As much of a rule follower as I am, there are just some things that I hate to be boxed in about. I think my eating is one of them. By giving myself some grace, I do much better about it.
1. Chocolate covered raisins continue to be a healthy snack and you may eat a few if you just "need a little something sweet", especially if you have just had some juice heavy on the broccoli and wanted to vomit.
2. If your body is needing a piece of chicken, EAT THE PIECE OF CHICKEN....and I did:-)
3. Since you make up the amount of days you want to do the juice fast, you may change the number of days without guilt.
On a serious note (well, the above is pretty serious, too), we did get a lot out of the juice fast. Alan totally did the juice fast for three days, not the original five, but he felt like he had no energy. I decided to eat one meal a day and for my body that worked great. I think we will keep juicing in our eating plan at least for one meal a day. Currently, we are still juicing at breakfast and feel great getting such a good blend of nutrition right after working out.
Probably the biggest problem for me is me:-) As much of a rule follower as I am, there are just some things that I hate to be boxed in about. I think my eating is one of them. By giving myself some grace, I do much better about it.
Saturday, July 07, 2012
Balance
I always love to have Davin home, but during times where he is off of school, I can very easily get entirely focused on the work of it all. I can go from meal to meal and all of the chores while forgetting to just relax and enjoy my boy. Alan balances me perfectly in this way. He is never in a hurry to get Davin into bed or rush through the day with him. He reminds me that we are not in a hurry and the work is no big deal. I think I will keep both of them:-)
Friday, July 06, 2012
Interesting People
Davin and I were out and about today for most of the day. As we are out and about and people watch me getting Davin in and out of the car and stores with "my system", it is so interesting to see how people react to me. I freely admit that much of "my system" looks awkward to an outsider, but it works for me and I have it down pat.
Among the various people we encountered today, one sweet older man came up to me and asked if there was anything he could do to help me. I told him I so appreciated his offer, but that we were good. We headed over to Wegman's for our last errand (maybe Friday afternoon is not the best time to run into Wegman's if you happen to be using a wheelchair and a cart) and as I went out the side door near our car, I opened the door with my backside and wheeled Davin outside, while holding the door open and then while watching Davin so he didn't roll away, I pulled my cart outside while still holding the door with my foot. It was then that I noticed the young Wegman's employee who probably had "helping hands" embroidered on his shirt. He quietly waited over to the side as to not be in my way;-) Very nice of him, indeed. (Okay, maybe that was a little sarcastic.) Truth be told, I never mind looking like Wonder Woman juggling the chair and groceries and the door:-) I know it is prideful and I am working on it, just being honest.
So Far...
So far the juice fast is not...well, let's just say that I am not loving it. I am not hating it, either. I am pretty sure one of the other people living with me is hating it, though. I don't want to mention any names, but one of my guys is very crabby and miserable about not eating. Not sure I have ever seen him whining and complaining like this. Maybe he learned it from me;-)
So, I think I am adapting my program for the next five days. I think (but am not positive) that I will eat one meal a day and juice the other two meals. The other person I mentioned before is not budging. He insists that this is "the program". Five days. I tried to tell him that we made up "the program" and we can change it if it is not working for us. Silly boy.
One of the other men in my life is loving trying all of the different juice creations. Some he likes and drinks a bit of and some he doesn't like. I am super excited that this may be a way to get some different foods into him that he can't normally eat. I still haven't mentioned any names, right? ;-)
So, I think I am adapting my program for the next five days. I think (but am not positive) that I will eat one meal a day and juice the other two meals. The other person I mentioned before is not budging. He insists that this is "the program". Five days. I tried to tell him that we made up "the program" and we can change it if it is not working for us. Silly boy.
One of the other men in my life is loving trying all of the different juice creations. Some he likes and drinks a bit of and some he doesn't like. I am super excited that this may be a way to get some different foods into him that he can't normally eat. I still haven't mentioned any names, right? ;-)
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Juice Fast
In our journey to a healthier lifestyle, Alan and I have tried and adapted many things in both our eating habits and our activity levels. The next stop on our journey is diving into a juice fast. Our first juice fast starts Thursday morning and will last five days. The fruits and veggies have been bought and the Vitamix Professional Series 500 arrived on our doorstep today. We have done some research and gotten recipes. Let the next adventure begin!
A Garden Visit
We have been blessed this week with a visit from my parents. Prior to my Dad's traumatic brain injury, my parents did quite a bit of traveling. Nothing too far, but lots of weekend trips and things like that. Since my Dad's TBI, it is a much bigger deal for them to think about leaving the comfort of home and their daily routine. I was so excited when I mentioned they might want to return to upstate NY with us and visit for a few days, and they said yes!
Yesterday we visited a local mansion and it's beautiful gardens. We had a great time and it was a beautiful day for it.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Adoption Update
After going through the process and becoming home study ready in upstate NY, we are now getting ready to leave and move back to NJ. We have to start over from scratch:-( Last week, we attended the orientation meeting (Yup, we even have to attend the orientation meeting again!) and got our application. It appears that the process here will be much quicker and for that we are so excited. I will keep you updated, but for now, it looks that it will be several months before we have the possibility of having children in our home.
God knows why we needed to do the whole process in NY and then move without our kids. He knows where our kids are and He knows when they will be ready to come home with us. We can't wait. Pressing on.....
God knows why we needed to do the whole process in NY and then move without our kids. He knows where our kids are and He knows when they will be ready to come home with us. We can't wait. Pressing on.....
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Humbled
Once a year, we have a golf tournament called Duffers for Davin. It raises money for Davin to attend special intensive physical therapy. It has provided the funds for us to be able to do this for the last 11 years.
Each year we go and I am just amazed and humbled at the whole process. To think of 70 or more golfers coming to support Davin is overwhelming to me. Our family is truly blessed by both these people who have known us a long time and those who only know us through the golf tournament and yet they all feel led to support my boy. I am so humbled and honored.
Friday, June 22, 2012
A Star is Born
Well, I knew Davin might be sad to leave camp, but tears??? Real ones??? I wasn't expecting that. As soon as he saw us, he hardly made eye contact. Much to concentrate on to get ready for the program:-) I understood. He was enjoying his last little bit at camp. But, then, I saw his eyes. There were tears in his eyes. He actually shed some tears every now and then during the couple of hours that we were at camp. A small part of me was sad that he wasn't the son who was hugging his Mom so glad to see her. A huge part of me was SO thankful that my boy had such a great time at camp that he hated to leave. How awesome is that? My non-verbal, non-ambulatory, feeding-issue, boy with asthma goes to camp just like lots and lots of other kids!! I am so thrilled for him. Feeling so thankful tonight and blessed that a fantastic group of people loved my boy for five days and took excellent care of him while giving him fun, fun, fun and helping him to grow spiritually. Also excited that Davin can go to this camp for the rest of his life!
As if I didn't know my Bubby was dramatic, he had a part in the drama today during the closing program. Complete with costume and everything. Adorable!!
I have so much more to write about, but can't seem to make much sense right now:-)
As if I didn't know my Bubby was dramatic, he had a part in the drama today during the closing program. Complete with costume and everything. Adorable!!
I have so much more to write about, but can't seem to make much sense right now:-)
Love
Cheney and Renee are living far away from each other this summer. I know it must be hard to be engaged and not be near each other.
Since Renee is now part of our family and we have Davin's golf tournament on Monday, Renee is coming today!! So, my Cheney Boy gets to go pick up his girl from the airport:-)
They are pretty cute, aren't they?
Since Renee is now part of our family and we have Davin's golf tournament on Monday, Renee is coming today!! So, my Cheney Boy gets to go pick up his girl from the airport:-)
They are pretty cute, aren't they?
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
25
25 years ago, after exactly four hours of labor, we welcomed Bethany Alyssa into the world and our family. Hard to believe. Celebrating who she is today:-)
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Living Two Lives
I am seriously living two lives presently. I have one life in upstate New York. Things are well organized there. I have one husband and one child and a routine that is comfortable and stress free for the most part. I am living in an apartment, so if something is wrong, I can call the very nice man and he will come and fix it. I can clean the whole apartment in about an hour and a half.
Then, I have a house in South Jersey. I have gardens to take care of that have been neglected for the year and a half we have been away. I have a basement under construction. I have a house that has many, many jobs waiting for me when I visit.
My life in NY has me up early every morning and busy for the first few hours, but then the pace slows and I have choices to make as far as what I want to do with my days.
My life in NJ is filled generally from the minute my feet hit the floor in the morning until I am collapsing into bed at night.
I love both of my lives, but they are so different, it sometimes startles me when I switch from one to the other.
Then, I have a house in South Jersey. I have gardens to take care of that have been neglected for the year and a half we have been away. I have a basement under construction. I have a house that has many, many jobs waiting for me when I visit.
My life in NY has me up early every morning and busy for the first few hours, but then the pace slows and I have choices to make as far as what I want to do with my days.
My life in NJ is filled generally from the minute my feet hit the floor in the morning until I am collapsing into bed at night.
I love both of my lives, but they are so different, it sometimes startles me when I switch from one to the other.
Monday, June 18, 2012
A Camp Veteran
Well, I dropped my littlest (so far) boy at Handi-Camp this morning. After days and days of making lists and checking them twice, we were ready to go. We had the bag for the nurse. We had the bag for the cafeteria. We had the towel bag. We had the bag of extra bandannas. We had clothes!!
In case anyone thinks Davin does not remember things, he was totally psyched when we pulled up for his second time at camp. The counselors rushed over to him and said hello while he was still in the car and I was unloading the luggage. We met his new counselor (I thought he was having Sam just like last year and was surprised that he wasn't, but I did not let it throw me:-) and saw Sam once again. Davin was thrilled to see Sam again!!!
My boy knew the drill. After all, he is a veteran camper at Handi-Camp. We went through registration, and the other registration and the first nurse station where we went over his meds and then the other nurse station where they checked him out. Then, he was ready to roll. Davin was pointing to go and get on with his week. His attention was SO not on me. It was not on his Mom Mom and Pop Pop who were there dropping him off with me. He was in the camp zone:-)
So, after letting his new counselor (who I was SO impressed with) ask me some questions, we said our goodbyes and let my boy be at camp. It is where he belongs this week.
It is a funny thing how God prepares your heart and changes your mind about things. Last year, I could not wrap my head around taking Davin to camp and leaving him there for five whole days! I made the appointment for us to be interviewed and went through with it. I sent in the forms they required, but I just KNEW that I was. not. going. to. be. able. to. send. Davin. to. camp. I mean, really, can someone else take good care of him? Can they even come close? God led me to send him last year and stretched me in a lot of ways. I am thankful.
This year, I was excited for Davin and today, although I do miss him and find it odd that he is not here, I am happy that he is at camp. I am so thankful that he has camp memories just like my older kids got to have. His have come a bit later in his life, but that is okay. I don't even have to feel guilty about him missing out on earlier camp memories since he can go to camp for the rest of his life! How great is that?
The only downfall to me about camp is that literally... What happens at Handi-Camp, stays at Handi-Camp:-)
In case anyone thinks Davin does not remember things, he was totally psyched when we pulled up for his second time at camp. The counselors rushed over to him and said hello while he was still in the car and I was unloading the luggage. We met his new counselor (I thought he was having Sam just like last year and was surprised that he wasn't, but I did not let it throw me:-) and saw Sam once again. Davin was thrilled to see Sam again!!!
My boy knew the drill. After all, he is a veteran camper at Handi-Camp. We went through registration, and the other registration and the first nurse station where we went over his meds and then the other nurse station where they checked him out. Then, he was ready to roll. Davin was pointing to go and get on with his week. His attention was SO not on me. It was not on his Mom Mom and Pop Pop who were there dropping him off with me. He was in the camp zone:-)
So, after letting his new counselor (who I was SO impressed with) ask me some questions, we said our goodbyes and let my boy be at camp. It is where he belongs this week.
It is a funny thing how God prepares your heart and changes your mind about things. Last year, I could not wrap my head around taking Davin to camp and leaving him there for five whole days! I made the appointment for us to be interviewed and went through with it. I sent in the forms they required, but I just KNEW that I was. not. going. to. be. able. to. send. Davin. to. camp. I mean, really, can someone else take good care of him? Can they even come close? God led me to send him last year and stretched me in a lot of ways. I am thankful.
This year, I was excited for Davin and today, although I do miss him and find it odd that he is not here, I am happy that he is at camp. I am so thankful that he has camp memories just like my older kids got to have. His have come a bit later in his life, but that is okay. I don't even have to feel guilty about him missing out on earlier camp memories since he can go to camp for the rest of his life! How great is that?
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Pistachio
Davin looked quite spiffy in his pistachio shirt last night. We picked up one tired Davin and he certainly didn't want to get up this morning, but I think it was worth it.
The woman in the picture with him is "Miller" his teacher. She is awesome and he adores her even though it doesn't look like it in the picture:-)
We also learned last night from one of Davin's friends that "Davin is mad popular at school. I can tell you that." That just cracked me up!
Monday, June 04, 2012
Combo Pack
My husband and sons have always been big fans of the "combo pack". I am not talking about food or anything like that. I am talking about a shirt and tie that come together in a pack. Since Cheney was young and started buying ties for school, he and Alan have loved the combo packs.
Davin has his dinner dance tonight! He is super excited and actually stayed up part of the night coughing and maybe dreaming of how he will be getting his groove on tonight;-) We went out shopping on Saturday for a new outfit for him. We knew going out that if we could find a combo pack, things would be grand.
We first looked in the adult section and tried on the smallest shirt we could find. Davin thought it looked great, but he was basically swimming in it. He also picked out two suit jackets that he thought would look quite handsome on him, but I suggested we go to the big boys' section and look a little further to see if we could find something that fit. (Not to mention that if he wore a suit jacket, he will probably sweat himself silly and then he will smell terrible and that is a whole other problem!)
We got to the big boys' section and like the clouds parting and a bright light shining down, we found "the combo pack section"!! Ahhhhh!! Alan's eyes lit up. We had found the gold at the end of the rainbow. We had limited selection of colors in his size, but eventually (after begging to have a black shirt that was not in his size) he picked a pistachio green shirt with a navy paisley tie. He is going to look fantastic tonight:-)
First thing this morning, Davin wanted to get dressed in his shirt and tie. I didn't think we would make it through the day with the outfit still being really clean by the dinner dance, so we decided to wear our school clothes until after school.
So excited my boy gets to have such a dress up night out with his friends and teachers!
Davin has his dinner dance tonight! He is super excited and actually stayed up part of the night coughing and maybe dreaming of how he will be getting his groove on tonight;-) We went out shopping on Saturday for a new outfit for him. We knew going out that if we could find a combo pack, things would be grand.
We first looked in the adult section and tried on the smallest shirt we could find. Davin thought it looked great, but he was basically swimming in it. He also picked out two suit jackets that he thought would look quite handsome on him, but I suggested we go to the big boys' section and look a little further to see if we could find something that fit. (Not to mention that if he wore a suit jacket, he will probably sweat himself silly and then he will smell terrible and that is a whole other problem!)
We got to the big boys' section and like the clouds parting and a bright light shining down, we found "the combo pack section"!! Ahhhhh!! Alan's eyes lit up. We had found the gold at the end of the rainbow. We had limited selection of colors in his size, but eventually (after begging to have a black shirt that was not in his size) he picked a pistachio green shirt with a navy paisley tie. He is going to look fantastic tonight:-)
First thing this morning, Davin wanted to get dressed in his shirt and tie. I didn't think we would make it through the day with the outfit still being really clean by the dinner dance, so we decided to wear our school clothes until after school.
So excited my boy gets to have such a dress up night out with his friends and teachers!
Friday, June 01, 2012
His Story
I needed to update Davin's story for his website, so I thought I would share it here, too:-)
Davin Bruce was born on November 12, 1992 in a small hospital in Pennsylvania. We were thrilled to add our 4th child to our family and he was a delightful baby. Davin did a couple of things that caused me to call the doctor and make sure that everything was okay. The doctor assured me that I had a good baby and to enjoy him.
As time went on, we noticed that Davin seemed to stay curled up in that newborn position and that he did not move his arms. His arms stayed down and to his sides. However Davin passed his 2 month check-up and his 4 month check-up with no concerns. At 5 months of age, I took my concerns about Davin's arms to the pediatrician. Davin saw another pediatrician in the practice and he assured us that we should watch him for 4 weeks, but that it was nothing neurological because that would start in his legs and his legs appeared to be developing normally.
I took my baby home and tried waiting, but only made it for about a week before calling Davin's pediatrician and requesting that he look at Davin personally. When we saw Davin's doctor, he didn't feel it was neurological, but sent us to be evaluated at Easter Seals. He also mentioned that if Easter Seals offered to have Davin evaluated by a neurologist, we should take them up on that offer.
Davin saw his first physical therapist when he was six months old. He was evaluated and given an appointment to see a neurologist at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia.
On June 11, 1993, Davin saw the neurologist and my mother-in-law and I were told that, "Davin has cerebral palsy. Any questions?" It was a shock and I felt like his words crushed my perfect world. He also gave us a list of tests that needed to be done on Davin in the near future. There was no test to show that a child had cerebral palsy. There were only tests to show that he didn't have something else.
We drove home after my mother-in-law prayed and gave the situation and Davin to the Lord. I then had to go home and tell my husband and my other children what the doctor had said. It was a difficult day.
My husband, Alan, said something the day Davin was diagnosed that will always stay with me. He asked me if Davin was any different than he was yesterday. I replied no, but somehow everything felt different. Alan said that Davin was the same baby that he had been the day before, except they had given this disorder a name. He was right and that has become our family's approach to raising Davin and our other three children. Davin is our child. There are things that are different. I am not sure that anything is harder or more challenging, than our other kids, just different.
After Davin was diagnosed, he began receiving physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and eventually special education. Our time with those therapists that helped us through those first couple of years was so sweet. They provided much more than therapy. They were an emotional support and a source of knowledge, love, and acceptance for someone who isn't exactly like every other kid.
Over the years, Davin has made slow gains, but we are thrilled with each new development, no matter how small. He rolled over for the first time when he was 2 years old and had some success feeding himself for the first time much later. In between, there have been many other things, like learning to pick something up, being able to hold a crayon in a certain way, and being able to right himself when he leans over in his wheelchair.
I have sat and held Davin while his entire body seized from a seizure disorder that he was diagnosed with at age 2, I have sat in the emergency room with Davin for 15 hours while doctors tried to determine if Davin had appendicitis or not. (It is very difficult to tell things like this because Davin is non-verbal.) I have sat in a therapy room in Mielno, Poland as Davin received intensive therapy and prayed for his body to respond. I have sat by Davin’s bedside in St. Christopher’s Children’s Hospital while Davin struggled to breathe following a hip surgery. Were any of these things any harder than the things that I have been through with my other kids? Probably not. Just different.
When Davin was little, it sometimes pained me to look at other “typical” kids his age. My heart hurt to see where he “should” be at a certain age. I mourned the life that Davin would not have….the life I thought he should have.
God has done great things in my heart since then. I have PROUDLY watched my son participate in bowling for the Special Olympics (and by participating, I really mean making sure that everyone was watching him), I have dropped him off at a dinner dance as my heart soared looking at my handsome boy in his shirt and tie and experiencing what his siblings have experienced. Just last year, I dropped Davin off at camp for five whole days and nights and wondered how in the world someone else would take care of his needs. They did and he survived and more surprisingly, I survived. (The camp staff wasn’t so sure I would make it.)
I can now celebrate Davin’s differences. Or maybe I don’t celebrate the differences, I just celebrate Davin. I love who he is. I love what he teaches me every day. I love his perseverance and the way he can convince most anyone to help with him do things even without speaking a word. I love the way he adores his siblings and they adore him. I love the impact he has had on the lives of those around us. I just love him. He happens to have cerebral palsy. That is all. Nothing more and nothing less.
My perception of “perfect” has changed so much since 1992. I am thankful and I am blessed to be Davin’s Mom. It has been one of the greatest joys of my life.
Davin Bruce was born on November 12, 1992 in a small hospital in Pennsylvania. We were thrilled to add our 4th child to our family and he was a delightful baby. Davin did a couple of things that caused me to call the doctor and make sure that everything was okay. The doctor assured me that I had a good baby and to enjoy him.
As time went on, we noticed that Davin seemed to stay curled up in that newborn position and that he did not move his arms. His arms stayed down and to his sides. However Davin passed his 2 month check-up and his 4 month check-up with no concerns. At 5 months of age, I took my concerns about Davin's arms to the pediatrician. Davin saw another pediatrician in the practice and he assured us that we should watch him for 4 weeks, but that it was nothing neurological because that would start in his legs and his legs appeared to be developing normally.
I took my baby home and tried waiting, but only made it for about a week before calling Davin's pediatrician and requesting that he look at Davin personally. When we saw Davin's doctor, he didn't feel it was neurological, but sent us to be evaluated at Easter Seals. He also mentioned that if Easter Seals offered to have Davin evaluated by a neurologist, we should take them up on that offer.
Davin saw his first physical therapist when he was six months old. He was evaluated and given an appointment to see a neurologist at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia.
On June 11, 1993, Davin saw the neurologist and my mother-in-law and I were told that, "Davin has cerebral palsy. Any questions?" It was a shock and I felt like his words crushed my perfect world. He also gave us a list of tests that needed to be done on Davin in the near future. There was no test to show that a child had cerebral palsy. There were only tests to show that he didn't have something else.
We drove home after my mother-in-law prayed and gave the situation and Davin to the Lord. I then had to go home and tell my husband and my other children what the doctor had said. It was a difficult day.
My husband, Alan, said something the day Davin was diagnosed that will always stay with me. He asked me if Davin was any different than he was yesterday. I replied no, but somehow everything felt different. Alan said that Davin was the same baby that he had been the day before, except they had given this disorder a name. He was right and that has become our family's approach to raising Davin and our other three children. Davin is our child. There are things that are different. I am not sure that anything is harder or more challenging, than our other kids, just different.
After Davin was diagnosed, he began receiving physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and eventually special education. Our time with those therapists that helped us through those first couple of years was so sweet. They provided much more than therapy. They were an emotional support and a source of knowledge, love, and acceptance for someone who isn't exactly like every other kid.
Over the years, Davin has made slow gains, but we are thrilled with each new development, no matter how small. He rolled over for the first time when he was 2 years old and had some success feeding himself for the first time much later. In between, there have been many other things, like learning to pick something up, being able to hold a crayon in a certain way, and being able to right himself when he leans over in his wheelchair.
I have sat and held Davin while his entire body seized from a seizure disorder that he was diagnosed with at age 2, I have sat in the emergency room with Davin for 15 hours while doctors tried to determine if Davin had appendicitis or not. (It is very difficult to tell things like this because Davin is non-verbal.) I have sat in a therapy room in Mielno, Poland as Davin received intensive therapy and prayed for his body to respond. I have sat by Davin’s bedside in St. Christopher’s Children’s Hospital while Davin struggled to breathe following a hip surgery. Were any of these things any harder than the things that I have been through with my other kids? Probably not. Just different.
When Davin was little, it sometimes pained me to look at other “typical” kids his age. My heart hurt to see where he “should” be at a certain age. I mourned the life that Davin would not have….the life I thought he should have.
God has done great things in my heart since then. I have PROUDLY watched my son participate in bowling for the Special Olympics (and by participating, I really mean making sure that everyone was watching him), I have dropped him off at a dinner dance as my heart soared looking at my handsome boy in his shirt and tie and experiencing what his siblings have experienced. Just last year, I dropped Davin off at camp for five whole days and nights and wondered how in the world someone else would take care of his needs. They did and he survived and more surprisingly, I survived. (The camp staff wasn’t so sure I would make it.)
I can now celebrate Davin’s differences. Or maybe I don’t celebrate the differences, I just celebrate Davin. I love who he is. I love what he teaches me every day. I love his perseverance and the way he can convince most anyone to help with him do things even without speaking a word. I love the way he adores his siblings and they adore him. I love the impact he has had on the lives of those around us. I just love him. He happens to have cerebral palsy. That is all. Nothing more and nothing less.
My perception of “perfect” has changed so much since 1992. I am thankful and I am blessed to be Davin’s Mom. It has been one of the greatest joys of my life.
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