Today I had to type some words at work that I did not necessarily like or agree with. The worst part is that they were about my own son. My brother-in-law/boss/attorney is getting ready to file the necessary paperwork for Alan and I to become Davin's legal guardian once he turns 18. (Otherwise, the state could step in and make decisions in his interest.) Davin will be 18 next month, so it needs to be done. The first step is to have our pediatrician sign a physician's affidavit. That is what I typed up today. Tomorrow Davin will go to the doctor. He will see his primary doctor and also one of the other doctors in the practice. It will last about an hour.
Today, I typed the words..."Davin Hester, an alleged incompetent individual". I didn't like those words. I also didn't like the words that I had to type describing what Davin can't do. I have always hated describing him that way. Can't we just talk about what he can do and what he is like? No, not for this. We just stick to the big facts. He is non-ambulatory, non-verbal, can not feed himself, wheelchair-bound and requires 24 hour a day care and his parents to make decisions for him. Does this sound like Davin to you? It doesn't sound like him to me, either. You know that Davin has his own ideas and likes to make the decisions around here:-) However, I understand the point and I realize we need to stick to the facts. I kept wanting to add things like...but he shows us clearly what he wants to do by finger pointing and eye gazing, but to write those things was not appropriate in this situation.
So, tomorrow I will take my son to the pediatrician, but it will not be a normal appointment. I am trusting that there will not be a whole lot said that will make Davin feel badly about himself. I will talk to Davin about what is going to happen (as I have been) in the morning and prepare him for what is ahead. Who will prepare me? This is hard.
8 comments:
Have you met my friend Pam? I linked an article to my Facebook page yesterday. It tells about her and her husband who had "locked-in syndrome." I smiled at the part where he got online and ordered a whole mess of handicap hunting equipment. He can't move, he can't talk. He can scarcely move at all, but he goes hunting. Amazing!
We all know Davin is there. He lets everyone know and I am inspired as much by your family as I am by anyone. Aren't you glad God looks on the inside too?
Martha, your kind words are always an encouragement to me. I am so thankful for your friendship. (I believe I will be seeing much more of you in the coming year;-) I am SO thankful that God looks on the inside. He knows just what that Davin boy is thinking. I know tomorrow will be a rough day, but it is just one day. We have been through other rough days and I am thinking a trip to Coldstone will help us get through it!
I will have to check out your friend Pam.
I became Kylers legal guardian when he was 18 and then every year we have to go back to re up it or what ever its called. So last year, I asked for 3 years which he is pretty ready now, he is going to MOVE OUT near Jan. woo hoo. His brother, my oldest son is buying a house that has a little house in the back yard and Kyler is going to rent it from him. When I saw it was for sale, I told my oldest he had to buy it, its perfect, Kylers on his own but still safe. I will still go down to his house (2miles from me) to set up his pills, take him grocery shopping ect, doc appointments all that, so maybe we should just go to a medical POA, which is really what I wanted anyway so that if and when he got a transplant, I had all the control and the docs had to talk to me, which they did but only because I was legal guardian. thank heaven. it will be nice for you becuase imagin, the doc office calling to make an appointment for him and he cant do it and they wont talk to you about personal stuff once he is 18, the entire privacy laws suck for parents like us. anyway, it is hard, good luck
Kelli, I am so excited for Kyler!! That sounds so perfect for all of you!!! He must be so excited! I am so thankful for you, my friend that I have never met, but receive so much support from. So glad you have blazed a trail before me:-)
I will pray you and Davin! Lord willing I'll remember tomorrow (I understand the routine down to the minute post :)). But if I forget I have already prayed for you. And I feel better when I think about spitting at the words "alleged incompetent individual." Don't know if that helps, please don't do it at court ;).
Sherri, LOL!! (literally) I will try not to do that in court, but no promises:-) Not sure when our court date will be, but praying it is prior to his birthday.
People with God's eyes & the heart of Jesus will usually see things, & people, differently than those "of the world". God says that Davin was fearfully & wonderfully made. And THAT is a FACT! It's amazing that he is nearly 18.
I can be having the worst day, and if Davin smiles at me, I can't help but smile back. Davin loves purely and enthusiastically.
So THERE, impersonal legal form! You can't capture who Davin is in legalese!
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