I Did the Easy Thing

Beginning a few weeks ago, Alan began working in Rochester, NY during the weeks. He comes home on the weekends for now. Eventually we will move up with him, but are waiting to see how some things shake down before deciding when that will be. I have been adjusting to not having him here to help me. Lots of times the evenings feel like another work day. I know all of the things I have to do for Davin and I just go through and check things off one by one. Somehow it just makes such a big difference knowing that Alan is not here to give Davin a bath or help me with carrying him. I have done the parenting thing by myself many times before, but I had all of my kids here and even though that caused more chaos, too, they were very helpful to me and their brother, too.

Since Alan has been gone, cooking has not been my strong suit. I have had grilled cheese more times than I can remember and I have also had bread and butter for dinner a couple of times. It just seems that by the time I make Davin's dinner (he doesn't generally eat the same things that I do) and get him fed, bathed, stretched, homework done, etc., I just don't feel like cooking. Not to mention, it is so weird to cook for one or two people.

Bethany is still here, but is generally not home at dinner time. She works evenings at Target and doesn't get home until after midnight now. She has come in and whispered to me asking what we had for dinner and I have had to tell her that I had bread and butter or grilled cheese!

A couple of nights ago, before Awana, I had made a big ceasar salad. No chicken in it. Just salad with bacon (which Bethany doesn't like). It seemed a good idea at the time. We were sitting at the table when Bethany asked me when the last time was that I made dinner. She said it was so discouraging when she would work all night and come home to find that there were no leftovers of any kind. Remember that I have not been cooking at all, so there are not any leftovers at all! I told Bethany to please realize how different things are for me without Dad here. This is the part where I realized I had really dropped the ball.....she reminded me that this had been finals week (which of course, I knew). She had not had a decent meal for all of her finals week. This may not seem horrible at first, until....I thought about what I had done just a couple of weeks before.

Cheney's college had sent home papers telling parents that we could order fruit baskets for our college students. The baskets would be delivered to them the Saturday before finals week and would be an encouragement to them as they begin their finals. This is not something odd for colleges. Bethany's college did the same thing, but I had never been able to afford to do this before this year, so Cheney will be the benefactor of the fruit basket. I was so excited as I was writing the check and sending it off to Wheaton. I imagined how excited Cheney would be and how he would have those snacks in his room while he was studying. I felt badly for the years that I wasn't able to do it for my girls.

However, I did not take advantage of the fact that this year I had the college student living with me and could encourage her myself!!! I had her living right here at home and could have made her meals and made sure she had snacks. What was I thinking? Instead, I was only worried about if Bethany will pass her class that she is nervous about and what it will mean if she doesn't. I dropped the ball. Not my finest moment as a mom. I did the easy thing. I wrote a check and sent it. I didn't take the time to invest in my college student who was right under my nose. In fact, I discouraged her. How disappointing to come home after working a long night and have to make peanut butter and jelly every night.

So, I guess I need to spend more time looking for the harder thing to do. Instead of thinking about how difficult my situation is and focusing on that, I need to look to meeting the needs of others. I do hope the lesson has been learned for me. Thankfully she has one more class to take in January.....

Finally

I finally got some motivation and had a very productive day today. My dear friend Tina, encouraged me that maybe this is a time of rest for me. I can embrace that thought, but it is unfortunate that it happens to coincide with the time that Alan has been without a job. Therefore, every day that I am here just hanging out and reading or watching Little House on the Prairie, Alan is watching me and I am pretty sure he has decided that this is what I have always done. He just wasn't usually home to watch me:) So, today, I finally got up and got lots of stuff done. Dinner was in the crock pot by 10 am, I whipped up a batch of sugar cookies and they are even iced and sprinkled already. We did some cleaning, laundry and all of that good stuff. Davin also got fed two times already. There have been some Saturdays when I suddenly realized that I had forgotten to feed Davin lunch! But, not today:)

Therapy is over now for Davin, so Monday will be the start of a "regular" week. Davin will go back to school and I will go back to work. Also, Alan's job search has been fruitful lately. He has a good potential job and is traveling next Monday to see the new office. It sounds like they would like him to come work for him, if he thinks he can stand doing the job. Alan seems up for the challenge. At this point, it sounds like the job would potentially move our family, but maybe for just one or two years and then we would come back to NJ. For now, our game plan (provided they really do offer the job to Alan) is for Alan to move up to Rochester, NY for approximately 8 weeks and see what he thinks of the office, etc. At that point, we would decide if we would move up there or Alan would just work there for a time and we would stay here. A short-term move (as we have done when the kids were little) is not so easy now. There are many services, etc, to set up for Davin and we will just have to be prayerful about what is best for Davin and for our family. Bethany has decided that even if we move, she will stay here and probably stay with family or stay in our house here. So much to pray about. God just keeps telling me to stay on my knees!

An Encouragement

Davin is in therapy presently. Therapy means driving for an hour each way and then sitting and helping while Davin does three and a half hours of therapy each day. He goes Monday through Friday. This time it is for two weeks. This is our second week. Davin is doing awesome. I think if someone asked me to work out for that long (and it is without a break unless his hands are getting purple or something and we need to give him a couple of minutes;), I would just collapse or certainly whine quite a bit. Davin does it like a trooper. I am always amazed at him. He loves his therapists and we have certainly gotten to know each other over the years that we have spent going to this therapy. God has been so gracious to provide the funds for him to receive this therapy and I am happy to take him.

One of the highlights of our weeks at the Rehab Center is seeing another girl who has CP and her mom. During my almost 17 years now (Yikes!) of having a disabled child, I have not had many friends who also have disabled children. I am not sure why, but I have not. My friends have certainly been a huge support for me and have loved Davin very much. However, getting to spend some time with another mom who deals with the same issues is just a blessing of a different kind. Anyone who has a child can relate to parenting issues, but I have always thought that the world that you walk into when you have a disabled child is just that, a bit of a different world. There are different rules, different timelines and certainly many, many, many more people interested in giving your opinion about how to best take care of your child. That in itself brings a whole different aspect to parenting. If I disagree with the professional (as I presently am on one issue), are they going to report me to Child Protective Services?

It made a good day at therapy just a little bit brighter getting to see this "therapy friend". I love the way the Lord provides what we need just when we need it.

Where Have I Been?

For those of you who have not totally given up on me, thank you. I have not been around. I have not blogged in months, nor have I even checked in for quite a while. This summer has been rough. There have been challenges that have been big. I have been driven to my knees multiple times. I have found that is where God wants me. He wants me reaching for His Word like my life depends on it. He wants constant communication with Him. It is a good place to be. There are still many challenges and they can not be shared in detail on here. I will have to think of another way to share on my blog. Maybe share more about having a child with a disability or maybe share more about the stage of life where your children are leaving the nest. We will see.

I will tell you about one HUGE change in our house. Cheney Alan is at college now. He left in the middle of August and that has been a huge adjustment for everyone. Our house is so quiet, it is hard to take. We find ourselves wondering what in the world to do with our time. Frankly, I sit around a lot. I can not seem to get out of this speed. I used to have so much to do, I rarely had time to take a break. Now it is hard to get motivated because I have such a slow schedule. I am working more and that is good. I know I will get used to the slow schedule and will take on more projects, but probably not today:)

Class of 2009

On Friday night, Cheney Alan Scott walked across the platform and received his high school diploma. It was a big day and a wonderful day. Cheney, we are so proud of you!

Two Kids, 8 Wisdom Teeth and Lots of Ice

This past week has been all about wisdom teeth. Last Wednesday, Cheney had his four wisdom teeth taken out. Bethany followed him five days later and had hers removed yesterday. My couch has been full of one Hester or another with a bag of ice held to one side or the other of their face for almost a week now. I am so thankful that I have a flexible boss and can be home with the kids while they are recovering. Even though they are pretty grown up, I know they appreciate having me nearby to get them new ice or find them something to try to eat.

Happenings at the Hester House

Time is marching on awfully fast lately. In the last month, Cheney has been to South Africa and back, been to Orlando for his senior class trip, gone to his senior formal and Davin has completed three weeks of intensive physical therapy. All of the events were exciting in lots of different ways. Cheney's trip to South Africa seemed incredible. What an experience! He was able to share with some people, bond with a boy at an orphanage, and visit a gaming reservation. Davin's three weeks of PT was amazing! I keep waiting for him to stop progressing since he is older now. This time amazed me and amazed his therapists. It is hard to describe it to you because he did not start walking or talking or anything like that, but my boy was putting different things that he has learned to do over the years together. He was deciding to do things without being asked to do them I(and let's face it, sometimes begging...). Davin was keeping himself in a hands and knees position and then keeping his balance to stand up on his knees. Wow! Davin really didn't have balance just a few years ago. He is pretty awesome. I think Davin has a different work ethic now that he is older and that has helped him, too. We are no longer begging him with games, etc, but he is just doing what he needs to do. Cheney's formal was very exciting, too. Davin made the final decision concerning Cheney's tux and it was fun to help him get ready to go.

Okay, the big news coming up is that Cheney has decided where he is going to college!!!!!!!! I can not tell you what a struggle this has been. Should he go far, should he stay, and on and on. We were waiting on the financial info for one more school (his top choice) and when that finally came back after quite a bit of time, it seemed clear what God had for Cheney for the fall. The sad part is that in August, we will be driving our son to Illinois and dropping him off. He will be attending Wheaton College. The good news is that Bethany has moved back home and will be living here from now on since she will be doing her four day placement next semester and it is local. So, I am trading one for one!

The other big news in our house is that my Bethany is bringing home a boy for us to meet on Thursday night. Okay, I guess you have to call someone who is 25 a man:) Anyway, Bethany has not been one to date. She has always known what she is looking for and was pretty quick to rule a guy out. It seems that this guy is a bit different and it has been fun to hear her talk about him. Since she has never been boy-crazy as a teenager and has waited so patiently, we have never heard her talk about someone like this. Fun stuff. Of course, Alan is waiting to see what he thinks when he meets him. He also let Bethany know that if he doesn't approve, the deal is off. You have to love having a Dad who cares:)

As we go through all of these exciting things, I am reminded of two families who have had their lives turned upside down. I continue to pray for Brett and Paige and all they have before them.