Monday, February 07, 2011

What is a Mom to do?

I knew this would be hard. Moving at 18 years of age is hard. Moving when you are non-verbal is extra hard. I knew it would not be ideal to put Davin in a "typical" high school at this age and have the "typical" kids his age try to get to know him. I didn't think about church....

Davin and I sat in Sunday School yesterday. We were in the back row. Every single teen had to walk by us to get to their seats. I noticed. Davin noticed. A teen came up and introduced herself to someone else who was new. Davin and I watched. We started feeling invisible and I wondered what I should do. Finally, two sweet, sweet girls came up to Davin. They had already been past us and were sitting in the very front row. They came all the way to the back row to introduce themselves to Davin and ask his name. Sweet girls. Only in 9th and 8th grades, too:-) We chatted with them for a bit. A ray of hope.

These waters are new. I am not sure how to proceed. Do I talk to the youth pastor? He hasn't done a great job of getting to know us or ask what he can do to enable Davin to be able to go to SS or youth group without me or Alan. He has tried, though. He really has. It is probably harder since Davin's former youth pastor also doubled as his best friend. Davin adored him. Maybe this youth pastor needs to go on a road trip to Cedarville. That is what bonded Davin and his Pastor Greg:-) Hmmm...., I know that I have been living with Davin for a long time, and I will give grace to everyone else who may not be knowing quite what to do. How do I reach out for Davin? What do I say? This is hard.

9 comments:

Martha said...

I can not even imagine how hard it must be. I wish I had some words of wisdom or wonderful advice, but I don't. I can pray though and that I will do. And one day I will escape and go visit you.

Heather said...

Thank you Martha for praying for us. This is a tricky one. I also really liked the rhymes:-) I will see you soon!! Davin starts school tomorrow, so soon I will make a trip to Williamson to see my friend Martha!!!

Martha said...

I like this. :)

Melanie L said...

Maybe you could take the lead, and introduce Davin to everyone. Have a special Sunday in youth group to talk about your incredible son. Maybe people are scared to ask questions. I know when you first came to Shawnee, I was nervous about approaching you, and I have a brother with multiple disabilities. You are where you are for a specific reason - God will guide you!

Tina said...

like Martha, I wish I had some sage advice to offer but alas I don't :( I haven't walked that path ... but I will share something in hopes of encouraging you. Yesterday after I finished up my bible study I spent a bit of time in prayer. My study was more difficult than usual so I didn't have as much time left for prayer as I normally do. I prayed for a few people that have been on my heart and then you and Davin came to mind. I realized that I didn't know how to specifically pray. So I asked God ... lifted you two up and went on my way. I had a bunch of stuff to do in the house but stopped to check my email right quick, as you know I haven't been blogging much at all but for some reason (could it have been God? ... I think so!) I decided to check my blog and lo and behold read your post! Ahhh!! Thank you God, now I know how to pray specifically for you and Davin! How cool is that? I love it when God does stuff like this!

He has equipped you every step of the way with that precious boy of yours and He will continue to do so. I am so blessed to be your friend to witness such love and grace and to have a part in carrying you both to the Father. He loves us so much! He is always working in and around each of us! I would have posted this yesterday but my internet was messing up ... anyway ... I love you, you are a dear, dear friend and I am just certain we will be neighbors in heaven!! =)

Martha said...

I kind of like Melanie's idea, but I know you sometimes like to keep a low profile. Davin was such a little guy when you first came to Sodus that it was easy getting to know him. He was always just part of the group. You included him and so did everyone else.

I hope it stops snowing soon so we can get together.

Heather said...

Tina, my dear long time friend!! You are such a blessing to me and thank you so much for sharing that. That is a huge encouragement. God has not forgotten Davin in this situation and He will guide. He never promises an easy road. He promised me He will be with me, though.

Martha, is it going to stop snowing soon? Davin started school yesterday, so I think next week I can make a trip to Williamson!! Maybe you can email me if there is a day that is good for you.

Melanie, I am just not sure that will work with the teenagers. I am just not sure. It was so much easier to move with a toddler (like Martha said) and then even when Davin was 10 when we moved to NJ. Hmm, still thinking and praying.

Darci said...

Hi Heather! It was a blessing to meet you and your lovely family tonight. I will join you in prayer for "what a mom is to do!" in this situation. I trust the Lord for His mighty plan for Davin and your fam while in Rochester... with youth group, a new church, etc.
You are asking Him for wisdom, and He is faithful to provide. I'm excited to follow and see how He will mightily work!
I also noticed Martha and Rachel on your blog sidebar, and I follow them in my google reader too ... such lovely ladies!
Hope you've recovered from your strategic business meeting tonight :)
Sweet blessings
darci salisbury

Heather said...

Thank you Darci and it was so wonderful to meet you and your husband!! That is so cool that you follow Martha and Rachel! Martha and I have been friends for about 15 years, I guess! Our kids actually grew up together:-)