He's Coming

Cheney finishes up his semester at college this week.  That means he is coming HOME!!  I am beyond excited and yet there are also many bittersweet things about this summer. 

This week I will get his room ready.  I will make sure he knows he is loved and he is wanted here.  Davin and I will talk about all of the things we will do when Brother is home.  We will plan to go to Sticky Lips together.  Maybe we can convince him to go with us to Niagara Falls, too. 

While I am getting his room ready, I will not forget that this is the last summer that my boy will come home to our home.  Next year, I will share (I know it is more of a hand-off, but I thought share implied that I was gladly doing it and not trying to get rid of him;-) one of my most prized possessions with a sweet young woman named Renee.  Next summer, he will go home to THEIR home after their wedding at the beginning of June. 

I know this is what we prepare them for their whole lives.  We want them to find the person who is their other half and who they can make a fabulous life with.  Somehow, it is still hard.  So, I will find my list of a thousand things to do for the last time before my baby boy gets married;-)  He will probably go along with most of them because he is sweet like that. 

And a Hush Falls Over the Crowd....

Davin making his way down court.

...literally, ever single person on the court (both players and their partners) were completely silent as they waited so patiently for Davin to decide who he would like to pass the basketball to:-) 

Davin joined a Special Olympics basketball team in our town 2 weeks ago.  It has been so fun to go and watch them practice.  The kids have varied levels of basketball abilities, but they are all so encouraging and patient with one another.  I love to watch them. 

Davin seemed nervous when we first walked in last week.  I had already explained to him that he would have a partner who would help him around the court.  He quickly made the decision that person was NOT to be me.  That is okay.  I can take it:-) 

Yesterday he was much more comfortable and was getting the hang of a few things.  (The boy has sat through quite a few basketball games in his life!)  Our goal for yesterday was to try to concentrate on trying a little bit harder to help to pass the ball or put it into the basket. 

How did we do on our goal?  Well...it is good to have goals;-)

The post scrimmage huddle.

It's Risky

Adoption is risky.  Adoption through foster care is full of unknowns.  Children don't end up without their parents without some kind of trauma to their young lives. 

The last couple of weeks, I have had serious doubts.  It just didn't seem there was a way for God to come through.  It seemed impossible. 

Because God is good all the time, he spoke to my heart specifically through my Bible study every single day this week.  (From Captivated by God, Women of the Word series) "First, God wants us to trust Him for impossible situations in our lives, and then He wants us to depend on Him entirely.

There are so many risks, so many unknowns and so many chances for my heart to be broken in this whole process.  Our kids are worth every. single. risk.  I am ALL IN. 

Afraid to Love by Matthew Hammitt~


Afraid to love, something that could break,


Could I move on, if you were torn away?

I'm so close to what I can't control

I can't give you half my heart, and pray it makes you whole



You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,

Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing every fear

You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.



I won't let sadness steal you from my arms

I won't let pain keep you from my heart

Trade the fear of all that I could lose, for every moment I share with you

You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,

Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear

You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.



Heaven broke into this moment, it's too wonderful to speak

You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed

You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me



You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,

Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear

You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start

Right Now I am Loving...

sparkly pencils
talking about adoption
listening to Cheney's excitement about his upcoming wedding
getting phone calls from Ashleigh and listening to her taking care of the twins that she nannies for
anything Davin brings home from school that he has made (even if I am not sure what it is)
my pink Kindle cover (never read with my Kindle, but now I have a pink case and suddenly, I love it)
talking about weight loss/fitness/nutrition
7am (that is the time of day when our workout is wrapping up and I have 23 hours until I have to do it again)
purple
knowing that I have new windows in my house even though I haven't seen them yet
getting phone calls from my Bethany telling me about her day
that Davin was so sad when his Dad was leaving last night for a meeting
my Bible Study on Thursday nights
frozen yogurt
Friday morning talks with my dear friend
watching Alan scoop Davin up so he can sit with him
knowing that Cheney Boy will be home for the summer in a couple of weeks!!
working on a new color scheme for my living room/dining room

Friends Forever

A couple of weeks ago, I had a lunch date with a dear friend and two of her little granddaughters.  It is amazing what a couple of little girls can do to boost your spirits for weeks.  To start off, one of them mentioned to her grandmother that I was pretty.  The other one told me that I was nice.  I figured the day could hardly get any better than that.  I was already bouncing around on a cloud.  At the end of our lunch, before walking out the door, one of the girls told us to put all of our hands in together and shouted "Friends Forever"!!  It just got better!!!  I left there amazed what a couple little encouraging words could do to encourage me for days and days. 

I went home and recommended to Alan that he try it with his team at work.  (He did not feel led to follow my advice.)  I told my sister that she and her co-worker should do it in the nurse's office where she works.  (They laughed about it, but didn't do it.)  I told my Bible study girls and we did it before leaving for the night!! 

Why not end every gathering with a "Friends Forever" cheer??  Try it!!

Mexico Pictures

Better late than never??  ;-) 

Obedience

Over the last week, I have mulled some things over.  Reality has settled in.  I never expected it to take this long for us to begin to be matched up with kids.  It is discouraging.  It is frustrating.  I could be mad that the process took so long. 

I could be, except I KNOW that my God has a plan for all of our lives.  My kids who are not yet home, as well as our biological family.  God was so clear in leading us.  He will continue to lead, but I am disappointed.  I can feel it more and more as I process things.  I feel ready.  We have done the work to prepare.  Where are our kids? 

If we move from here soon, (which looks probable) we will have to start the whole process all over again (says NJ).  So what have we gained by doing all of this??

We did what God told us to do.  That has to be enough.

The Plan?

God is in it.  I know He is.  He has not filled me in on all of the details, however.  But, you know what?  He doesn't have to.  My job is to be obedient. 

We have been pursuing the adoption of a sibling group (not one in particular) for a year now.  We received our home study one week ago today.  Presently, our lease is till the end of June.  Alan and I are trying to decide how long we should try to extend it.  Maybe the end of September?  Or December?  Or are we just trying to give God more time that He doesn't need because He knows how this is all going to play out.  He knows that Cheney is coming home to NJ for his last summer as a single college student and that this Momma's heart can't miss all of that.  God also knew that NJ was going to say that no part of our home study will transfer.  Not even our classes.  We will have to be in NJ to start the process all over again if we leave here without adopting.  We have felt very strongly this is what we were to be doing.  In the end, nothing else is important except that we obey.  I believe we are doing that. 

Praying that God will continue to guide us in these murky and yet exciting waters. 

Now There is Too Much to Write...

I have been away from blogging for such a long time now and in the past few days have come on to try to catch up on some of your lives.  Now, as I try to come up with a post for today, I feel so far behind and think there is way too much to say. 

*Alan and I went away by ourselves for 11 days at the end of February/beginning of March.  We celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary and also a year of regular exercise, changing our diet and steady weight loss.  Bethany and Cheney stayed with Davin (who was sick for much of the time:-( and we are so thankful for kids who love us and are happy for us to get away.

*Our home study came in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There are still sooo many decisions to be made and plans to work out, but God is in control of it all and we are so happy to have that magic report in our hands:-)

*You saw pictures from Cheney's proposal:-)  I go back and forth between being so excited about the whole thing and then mourning my baby boy leaving our nest.  So many emotions.  He could not be cuter, though and we are really thrilled.  There are just times when it hits me... like when he is talking to me about his wedding ring and suddenly I can't breathe anymore. 

*I kidnapped Bethany and Rocky and had them with us here for a little over a week.  I think I was very close to convincing Bethany to stay up here, but she was just accepted on a team to go on a missions trip to Africa in the summer!!!! so there is much to do with that and unfortunately for me, she will have to be in NJ for that. 

*Ashleigh continues to rock her classes and is on her way to getting her personal trainer certification.  I am so proud of all of the long hours and dedication she puts in.  Of course, there is also that little job she has taking care of 2 two-year-olds all day long:-) 

*Davin Boy had a talent show on Friday.  Of course, he was amazing!! 

*Some work is being done at our house in NJ to prepare for more people living there in the near future!!!  That is exciting!!!