Saturday, January 30, 2010

Boys vs. Girls

I frequently hear people talk about boys being so much easier to raise than girls. My answer is generally that it depends on the child and as genders go, they each have their challenges. They may not be the same challenges or come at the same time, but they come. Growing up is hard.

I am wondering if people who insist that boys are soooo much easier than girls have ever watched a boy try to become a man. I have found (in my own son and in other boys' lives) that this is a huge, difficult time of life. Right now I am praying for a young man who is very special to our family. He is at a similar point in his life that my son Cheney was in at this time last year. He has made some bad choices and there have been consequences that we presently don't know the extent of.

In my experience, girls are freer to show their emotions. They can cry and let those emotions out. It can look ugly, but they come out. After a certain age, boys are not really permitted to cry. This certainly was not something I had told my son, but I think boys catch on pretty quickly that by a certain age, crying does not look good for them socially, so they bottle it up. Eventually those emotions come out and I have seen it come out as anger or rage in boys. I know it did in my son and it was terrifying and painful to watch. Dealing with disappointments in themselves can leave them so angry. They need to be a "man" and yet they have so many insecurities and so many questions about what that should look like in their lives. And, of course, when they know they have things in their lives that are not living up to their own expectations of themselves.

So, as I think back to a year ago when my body was literally between my son and the front door as he desperately tried to get out of our house while I wondered if I would end up being hurt or if the police would need to be called, I will pray for this boy that we love so much. I will pray that he will walk out of his anger and into all that God has for him.


Martha said...

How well I know the struggle of watching little boys endeavor to become men. It can be a pain almost too much for a mother's heart to bear. It was during a time of struggle such as this, that I learned something I had never understood about the Father's love for His children, for me. I pray your friend finds his way to becoming a man that his Heavenly Father can smile on.

Heather said...

I agree, Martha. It hurts a mother's heart and now my heart hurts for this young man's mother (my friend). Thank you for your prayers for him.

Tina said...

I remember early on when asking for prayers for my lost boy ... someone said "those are the ones that Jesus goes after" How that warmed my heart because I know it is true.

I believe also that for every lost boy, every hurting boy, every boy who is struggling to become a man ... there is a mom on her knees, sometimes those moms need others to come alongside (like in my case) and God is ever faithful to call others to the fight.

I believe that God works miracles our prayers.

much love to your friend and her son,

Anonymous said...

I SO agree!!!