Friday, October 05, 2012

If I'm Late...

If I am late to church or any other meeting please know that...

Davin may have had a hard time eating this morning.  Some days he eats quickly and other days needs a lot more time.  Some days he coughs and coughs while eating and I have to slow way down.  Some days I shed some tears while dealing with this.

Right before leaving, I may have realized that Davin really needed a nebulizer treatment.  It takes time and I can't mess around with him not having one if he needs it. 

Davin may need to be changed (again), except that I didn't realize it until he was already in the car.  I then had to take him out of the car, take him in the house, change him and get him back into the car.

Maybe Davin's breakfast got all over his clothes and I had to change his shirt or pants before heading out the door.  If I had to change his pants, then I may have had to take his MAFOs and shoes off as well.

Even though I look like I have things together, I don't always.  Sometimes I am frazzled.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed.  I like to look like I have things under control.  Know that on the outside, I may be handling things, but on the inside, I may not be.

When you met me and asked me how old my kids are and I answered 19, 21, 25 and 27, that is really very deceiving.  You think I am a parent of all adult children and can easily come and go.  I do not go anywhere very easily and have spent 26 of the last 27 years with a baby in a lot of ways.  As hard as I try to be the parent of adult children because that is the normal progression of things, I have to realize that in many ways, I am not.

Please know that I am still feeding my child every.single.meal that he eats  I will never be able to remind him to eat his breakfast and then be able to walk away and get myself ready. 

I am writing this post more to me than to you:-) 


Melanie L said...

Great post - no one except God can fully know what each of us deal with in our own unique circumstances. Some of us struggle on the outside, but many struggle on the inside. Some struggles are external & obvious and appropriate for sharing. Some are not, and we need grace and understanding without feeling the need to share details.

I wonder how many people look at me, having the same job for over 4 years now, supporting myself & my kitties, being silly sometimes, attending prayer meeting faithfully, loving to cook & bake, and think, "she seems to be over [what happened 5 years ago] it. And I want to say "Yeah, No."

We do what we need to do in life through God's strength, but sometimes people don't see the human part of the struggle, or they don't choose to think, "maybe there is a good reason she is late, or quiet, or didn't come at all."

One of my favorite posts ever.

Heather said...

You are right Melanie and thank you for the kind words. We can't judge because we don't know the details behind someone's life. It seemed like most of these things happened last Sunday and it just made me think about how differently I may appear on the outside sometimes compared to what is going on inside.

Melanie L said...

So if you are late to Friendly's, I won't get upset. *Grin* Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Sherri said...

I was thinking of you today, as I counted up my diaper years. Because I remember that post too, you win in the count :). I appreciate your blatant honesty, it has always been an encouragement to me. I don't know what we'll be doing in heaven, but maybe someone will feed us?!

Martha said...

I just want to say that I loved this post too. It is a very good reminder to me that I really don't know what is happening inside the lives of strangers in the grocery store, or even my friends.

You do a very good job of appearing to have all of your eggs in one basket, even if it doesn't happen every day. You are still a hero in my eyes, even though you probably aren't looking to be. Then again, perhaps all of us really do need to be a hero to someone somewhere along the way.

I love you.