Tears and Fears

Last night we were doing Davin's stretching during the Superbowl. Davin started screaming and crying and even after we were done stretching (the side he had surgery on) he cried and cried, shivered and quivered. We each took turns holding him and trying to comfort him until he was doing much better. He slept fine last night, but when I got him up this morning, anytime I touched or moved his left leg/hip, he screamed, cried and shivered. It was terrible. I continued to get him ready for school, thinking that the PT could look at him for me and tell me if he should be seen by the orthopedic surgeon. Davin is always happy to go to school, but the bumping just to get him on the bus had him crying again. He cried the whole time they were strapping his chair into the bus. Poor thing. I did not know what to do. Get him off the bus? Would he calm down? Would he get bumped at school? Had we hurt him seriously? I ended up letting him go so I could get his PT's opinion and then I called her. She encouraged me to call the doctor which I did and am still waiting for a call back. In the meantime, I am beside myself picturing Davin at school screaming with tears streaming down his cute face. So, I called school and talked to an aide in his class. She assured me that Davin was "all smiles" (I certainly had not been thus far today.) and that he was doing fine. So....we will wait for the doctor to call and prayerfully Davin was not hurt and he is just sore. It is the worst when you feel like you hurt your own child and it could have been avoided. It is something I have struggled with ever since Davin was diagnosed since CP is a brain injury. It is not something genetic that happens to the baby. It is an injury and since I was the one carrying him, it was very hard not to feel like I had not protected him. Oi, so I give him back to God. God knows and God loves Davin more than I even do.