Where Is My Heart?

I feel like I could be at a crossroads and yet part of my heart keeps tugging me back. After doing Awana and youth group for many years, I thought that maybe my time was up, at least for youth group. I had not made many connections with the girls this year as I am usually with Davin during youth group. I had expected that this would happen as I am more of Davin's aide while I am there. That is okay, but I wondered if I should still be there if I am not making progress with the girls. It seemed as if God was leading me away from there. Then, some connections are being made and I am left unsure of how God is leading.

Then, there is this very handsome man who will be living most of his days in Rochester. He doesn't like to live without me and I am thankful for that. If finances work out, we are reconsidering making the move to Rochester for a time. Part of me loves this and part of me doesn't. Both of my girls will be staying here, but I like to support my man and be there to make him dinner and take care of him during the week. He is so good about doing what he has to do to provide for our family and doesn't complain, but I know it would mean a lot to him if Davin and I (and at times Cheney:-) were there. It is not simple, though. We have a house here that, for many reasons that I won't explain, we need to keep. I have been apartment hunting again online and looking at some different areas to figure out if we can do it. So, limbo again. My favorite;-)

I have also been seeing a need and feeling a tug to minister to Moms with young children. I was involved with a MOPS program at my sister's church for a couple of years and I think this may be a ministry that God would have me take on in the near future. But, I must know first if I will be here or there. I know that God will show me what I am to do. I am very thankful and excited about the new connections I am making with the youth group and excited about the possibility of a ministry to young mothers that God seems to be laying on my heart. So many possibilities!

How Tricky It Can Be

I have grown very accustomed to having a child who is non-verbal. It does not often cause a problem really. I hardly think of him as being non-verbal. He is so much a part of everything and he is constantly communicating although not with words.

When Davin becomes sick or has something bothering him, things become a bit more difficult. I have been doing this for over 17 years, so I can read him pretty well and up until now have not had him into the doctor's office needlessly very often. So, when I notice something seems "different", I watch. I watch and watch and then at times, I begin to panic. Yup, I panic. I know it is hard to believe, but it does occasionally happen. I think God has given me that line where I cross over to being concerned and he uses that to keep Davin safe. I have to go with my gut since Davin doesn't have words.

Last night, I got concerned and it ended with a trip to the emergency room. In the end, the problem is not huge and Davin will be fine. The doctor and nurse were so compassionate. Poor Davin was nervous as could be. All that happened following his hip surgery in 2007 certainly has affected how he feels in a hospital setting.

Thursday Thirteen (My Sissy)

I decided to do a Thursday Thirteen today in honor of my sister. She just celebrated her 19th wedding anniversary and that is a pretty big deal:-) She is my only sibling and just happens to be the one I would choose if I got to pick. Here are 13 things about my sister, Jenny:

1. She was always called Jenny growing up, but now most of us call her Jen.

2. She is a nurse and has just accepted a job as a school nurse. I have mixed feelings about this;-)

3. She has three adorable children...Taylor, Trey and Jonah.

4. Jen is 18 months younger than me.

5. She grew taller than me.

6. Jen is the person I call to ask advice.

7. She is probably the most easy-going person I have ever known.

8. She deals very well with a sister who is a little more high-strung:-)

9. Jen's husband served in Iraq for a year. It was a very difficult year, but she handled it in an amazing way, just like she does every challenge.

10. She loves Jesus.

11. She makes me laugh all the time. We have lots of sister jokes that no one else finds that funny. That makes them even funnier to us!

12. I may have traumatized her during our childhood. For that, I am sorry. Really, I am:-)

13. She is perhaps the most reliable person I know. I can always count on her to listen to me, help me, or support me in any way that she can. She is the best and I am so blessed to call her my sister and my friend.

Missing Him

I am missing my Alan this week. Although we have spent lots and lots of days/weeks/months apart, sometimes I just miss him more. This is one of those times. He left early Monday morning and doesn't come home until late next Tuesday evening. All of our kids were here tonight for dinner and it made me sad he wasn't here. He loves when we are all together. Cheney's girlfriend Renee has been here this week visiting and he is missing that, too.

I am so thankful that he does what he needs to do to provide for us. Most of the time, I am okay with being here without him. Just not this week.

My Banner

I was listening to K-LOVE yesterday on the way to youth group (a half hour late!). It was the Proverbs 31 segment and it really touched me. She was talking about seeing someone who had won a beauty pageant and that this young woman was wearing her banner across her chest that stated her title. She went on to say that we wear banners, too. We may not wear them across our chest, but the world sees our banners. Do our banners read that we have joy, patience, long-suffering, hope, and peace?

I really like this analogy and feel challenged by it. Even if my banner does not read "Miss America":-), I am being watched. The things I say and my attitude affect the people around me and can either point them to what I have in Christ or turn them off from it.

Help me Lord to remember to wear your banners to the world I come in contact with.

Moving On...

Well, the day has finally come and gone. It was a strange date because for several months it was the day that Bethany was to be married and more recently, it became the date she was not getting married. We are now past that day and Alan commented last night that it is good to have that behind us. We are moving forward. Bethany is doing well and continues to rest in the fact that she made the right decision, in spite of the fact that it was a hard one. Instead of having a rehearsal dinner and wedding/reception, we went to see Despicable Me as a family and spent an afternoon and evening at Ocean City Boardwalk. We ate cheesesteaks together. Once during the weekend, Alan was concerned that we were spending too much money, but I reminded him that we were not spending nearly as much as we expected to;-)

A Special Prayer Request

Do you know how you pray for lots of different requests, but every once in a while, one just grabs you by the heart and won't let go? That is where I am today. A friend from church just delivered her baby girl. I believe little Addison is about 13 weeks early. About a month ago or so, the doctors had shared with the soon-to-be parents that they feared the baby had some kind of medical issues. This one has got my heart. I am praying and praying and often find myself on the verge of tears. Oh Lord, be merciful....

Bye Bye Bunk Beds

We have had at least one set of bunk beds in our home for at least 22 years. A short while ago, I decided that one change that we could easily make in our house and would hopefully help my back a little was to get rid of the last set of bunk beds. Davin had been sleeping on the bottom bunk of the set that he shared with Cheney for many years.

Last weekend, we cleaned and sorted and moved things around. Davin is now the proud owner of a slightly used full bed. (Previously, it was Mom Mom and Pop Pop's, Ashleigh's, Bethany's, and then Cheney's) He was pretty excited to be up higher and be able to see out of his window now. I am also thinking that he may be expecting Cheney to sleep there from now on with him, too since it was most recently Cheney's bed:-)

Today I am waiting for a futon to be delivered for Cheney's room. His room is teeny tiny and I was trying to come up with a good solution that would be comfortable for him, but also allow me to use his room a little bit for other things (scrapbooking:-) when he is at college. We are hoping the futon will fit in the room and Cheney will come home to a place to sleep when he gets back from Ohio tomorrow!