Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Your Worth is Not on Paper

For nearly Davin's entire life, he has been EVALUATED.  He has been evaluated by physical therapists, occupational therapists, ed. teachers, speech therapists and psychologists (my favorite....NOT!).  When he first started receiving services when he was 6 months old, he would be evaluated in several of these areas every six months.  I would get the results of the evaluations in the mail and just be crushed.  On paper, it looked like he had made no progress and it ALWAYS talked about how different he was from "typical peers".  It took me a couple of years to start putting those nice little papers in a drawer.  I would not even read them.  This has been my habit (for the most part) for the last 15 or 16 years. 

When we moved a psychologist came to our house and evaluated Davin and also gave me some kind of assessment to fill out.  I certainly know that on the papers I filled out (they were fill in the dot, not the kind where you could write answers), Davin didn't score very high.  I mean, really.  Some of the questions were so irrelevant to his life.  For the psychologist, I was impressed as I watched Davin really pay attention and answer the questions.  I also really do like the psychologist and she has gotten to know Davin and really like him.

However......yesterday I received the official evaluation results in the mail.  I was so encouraged by how well he is doing in school and how well he did with the psychologist and by the things his teacher has been saying that I (like a silly girl who didn't know better) decided to take a look at the report.  Bad idea.  It showed that Davin's IQ was the lowest it could be and that he ranks in or lower than 1% of the population.  Really??  Are you kidding me?  Have you met this kid? 

I shall go back to my old ways now.  I will put those papers in the drawer and keep them, but never allow them to define who Davin is.  My boy is not what is written on that paper and his abilities can't be measured by the regular standards.  I know who he is.  Davin knows who he is.  He is funny.  He is tricky.  He is smart.  He is loving and he is loved.  I will not focus on those papers, those words.  I will focus on who Davin is. 

10 comments:

Christine said...

Heather this is such a powerful post. You rock as Davin's Mom!

Martha said...

Aren't you glad God looks on the inside?

mommytoalot said...

I can totally relate. Read this over at Christine's blog Smiles and Trials and had to come by and say hello
xx
Lisa

Heather said...

Martha, I am so glad!! Although he is so stinkin cute on the outside, too. he he

Lisa, thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment! I am off to check out your blog:-)

Sherri said...

Yay, I do the same thing, I don't feel like a bad mom now! I am glad your advice is to keep doing it :).

Martha said...

My mother never should have opened those envelopes either!

Melanie L said...

What's the point of evaluating him? We all know he is a loving, fun, caring person who enjoys life to the fullest. What else matters?

Tina said...

Oh Heather you are an amazing mom to an amazing boy!

Psychologists too often see what they expect to see, they are too arrogant to really look I think ... Once a psychologist told my mom that I was a manic depressive ... oh and he also wrote in my chart that my mom was domineering HA!! what a bunch of baloney!!

Just today while I was spending time with our wonderful heavenly Father I told him how thankful I am that He sees right into my heart and he loves me so ...

He sees Davin, really sees him and has a plan and purpose for his life. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Davin yet but I see him through you, Alan, Cheney and the girls and he is beautiful, your family is such a beautiful picture of God's unending grace and strength.

I love you and am blessed to be a part of your life

Natasha said...

Just read your post on Christines and loved it - I'll add you to my Google Reader! I have a son with "mild" CP, and we've been at all sorts of therapies since he was 9 months. I shred those papers without reading now. The evals that I have to sit through at times are different, so I'll sit through those, and just shred the paper reports they give me. I've shed way too many tears over those and decided that I can't even put them in the drawer anymore. :) Your son is a cutie, btw!!!
Natasha

Heather said...

Natasha, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! I will head over and check out your blog. I love it that you shred your evals!! Sherri and I might have to consider losing the drawers and getting shredders:-)