Friday, May 18, 2012

Davin - An Insider's Look

The following is what my son, Cheney Alan, wrote.  Cheney is just 21 months older than Davin, so he knows nothing different than having a brother who has "a little problem" (a quote from 3 year-old Cheney:-).  He is also the brother who as a 4 or 5 year-old started carrying his little brother downstairs so they could watch cartoons on Saturday mornings.  He promised when he was little that when Davin was big, he would find him a wife and if he didn't, they would just live together like the Baldwin Sisters from The Waltons.  (Love that!)  He wondered if Davin was faking being disabled so he could get new toys.  (At that point, therapists were always bringing toys to the house to do Davin's PT and OT.)  As a teenager, his youth pastor watched Cheney scoop a crying Davin out of his chair in front of the other teens.  As a young adult, he came to Alan and I and asked that he be Davin's legal guardian if we cannot do it.  He always thought he knew what Davin was thinking and he probably did.  Davin can still convince his 21 year-old brother to sleep with him.  He just points to the pillow where Cheney is to lay his head.  I have walked in to see Cheney barely on the bed with a little brother tucked all the way under his armpit.  Lest you think he is perfect, he also tied a small Davin to the bed with a Batman rope Davin's first night in his big boy bed.  It seems that Davin was fine with it until his brother left the room leaving him dangling in between the ladder of the bunk bed. 


Cheney and Davin's relationship is probably the one that I mourned the most.  I knew what my sister and I had.  I knew what special relationship my two girls had.  My boys were born 21 months apart and I wanted that same kind of relationship for them.  God has shown me something much more beautiful than I had envisioned.  I had such limitations on relationships.  God didn't.  To say that my boys adore each other is an understatement. 

These are Cheney Boy's words...




Growing up with a disabled brother has allowed me the opportunity to see life from a different perspective.  He has given me traits that I would not normally have developed.  The ability to understand people without speech.  My brother does not speak but that does not in any way keep him from communicating.  My brother has taught me that sometimes you just need to enjoy the little things in life.  Like sitting on the couch with someone you love watching TV or even just looking outside the window.  From a very young age I've known the feeling of someone who depended upon me.  I have known compassion and understanding for people in different places than I am.  My brother has enabled me to have so much that I feel it is literally the least I could do to help him with whatever he needs for as long as he needs it.

7 comments:

Hannah said...

I can literally see Cheney in my mind. He is scooping a much smaller Davin off the floor and carrying him away. How old were they? Oh, I don't know anymore... Maybe Cheney was 8 or 9, maybe younger, but Davin had a great big smile on his face and I hope Cheney wouldn't drop the little guy. Of course he didn't. :)

Martha said...

And of course, that was not Hannah. It was me.

Heather said...

I was guessing Hannah would not have those same memories in quite the same way:-)

Betsy said...

that is just so sweet...and I see a lot of my Taylor in your Cheney. :) Their the 'special' boys, don't you think?

Heather said...

Yes I do, Betsy. And I think you are right, Cheney and Taylor have a lot in common:-)

Martha said...

I think I missed out on really getting to know my brother. Too bad. I could have been "special" too.

Heather said...

Martha, you are "special", too. I can see lots of things in you that probably come from having a brother who required a "little extra" attention. I totally include you in this club:-)