Thursday, May 24, 2012


I have a couple of issues that come up from time to time.  I can get lost VERY easily.  My strategy when I am lost is to turn down any road that sounds familiar to me.  If I have ever at any time been on the road, my logic tells me that getting on that road will get me closer to home.   I would like to thank Rochester, NY for having a road system that works with my technique.  Unfortunately, Philadelphia, PA does not really work the same way.  

I also have a tiny issue with vacuums.  My Mom has probably had 2 or 3 vacuums and she has been married for almost 50 years.  I cannot count the number of vacuums I have owned.  I know there was a period of about 6 years where I got a new vacuum every single year.  I have had to borrow vacuums because mine was not working.  Alan has fixed each and every vacuum that I have owned many, many times before we finally break down and buy yet another vacuum.  Alan feels like I am the common denominator with the vacuum problems, but things happen.  For many years, I could try to blame it on one of my kids using the vacuum.  (Don't judge;-)  

I feel like I am unfairly judged concerning the vacuum situation in part due to a small incident that happened so very long ago and yet keeps getting brought up over and over again.  One day I had just picked my vacuum up from the repair shop.  (Yes, I have had my vacuums repaired by professionals several times, too.)  I was driving our Suburban and needed to drop the vacuum off at home and head out again with the kids.  Since I was in a hurry, I put the vacuum on our front lawn temporarily and started make a k-turn with the truck.  I forgot that the vacuum was in the way and I ran the vacuum over.  Oops.  I got out and looked at the smashed hose on my canister model and knew this was not going to be easy to explain to Alan.  Not only had he purchased me vacuum after vacuum after vacuum, but we had just paid quite a bit of money to get this one fixed.  

I believe one of my children was quick to let their Dad know what had happened.  (Aren't they so cute when they tattle on their mother?)  Anyway, that day has been pretty hard to live down.  

Yesterday my vacuum was not working, so my very patient husband fixed it for me.   I was pretty excited (I always am because it is so often broken) when I could use the vacuum again since I was doing a lot of deep cleaning.  I hated to even mention to Alan that when I began to use the vacuum, it wasn't picking anything up AGAIN.  

Alan started to take the vacuum apart and I could just see the look in his eyes.  I told him that I didn't want him saying anything to me about something being stuck in there.  (Okay, through the years, there may have been some strange things stuck in the hoses.)  I knew the familiar look in his eye and I just knew I had not sucked up anything odd.  

Alan held up the end of the hose and "someone" had sucked up a plastic knife, still in the plastic, from a fast food restaurant.  Of course, I was blamed immediately even though Alan had vacuumed the day before.  Next thing I knew, the whole "car running over the vacuum" incident came up, blah, blah, blah.  

By the way, if you have ever accidentally run over your vacuum, could you please leave me a comment?  Alan said if I can find one person who has done it, he will let that story go.  


Martha said...

I don't believe I have ever run over a vacuum cleaner, but I did hit Heather Milliman's bike with my van once and owed her a new wheel. :P

However, once upon a time we traded cars with one of the church youth leaders. He had a small pickup truck which was rather, well, let's just say it was in need of some cleaning... I had a bowl of water and a vacuum cleaner in the cab at the same time which probably isn't very wise. I dropped the hose and where do you suppose it landed? Yup, right in the bowl and it was on. Sucked that dirty water right out of the bowl faster than I could scream, "NOOOOO!!!" There was water running out the front of and pooling all around my vacuum cleaner. Miraculously, it still worked afterward.

Martha said...

I do believe people are holding out on you. And since you are such a wonderful friend I will tell you another vacuum cleaner story. This actually happened to someone you know, not me and not anyone related to me.

This dear friend was cleaning out her wood stove. Quite certain all the ashes from the previous fire were completely dead, she came up with the wonderful idea of vacuuming out the ashes. Turns out they weren't dead after all. She found out when the air being sucked through her cleaner brought those "dead" ashes to life and her vacuum cleaner broke out in flames.

True story, ask... (Ha! you thought I was going to tell you, huh?)

Martha said...

PS, Do not attempt to vacuum the bedding out of gerbil cages with a canister vacuum. It quickly clogs the hose and your husband will not be proud of your efforts at efficiency. (That was me.)

Sherri said...

I am loving all your posts. I forgot Google Reader for a long time, I have 111 to read. You may never find this comment :) I cried when I read about Cheney and Davin. But I wanted you to know that Zade has broken two of our vacuums. He also borderline idolizes them. It was nice to get a glimpse into the future, I will warn his wife!

Heather said...

Sherri, I love that Zade and I have that in common!! LOL