Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A Little Time

Sometimes I can go with the flow.  Other times, I need some time to wrap my head around things.  I have learned over the years that giving myself that time is okay.  It's not whimpy and doesn't make me weak to take time to sort things out, process them and feel sad if I need to. 

My Cheney Boy left yesterday and headed "home" to NJ.  Just a few short weeks ago, we learned that everything was working out perfectly.  Our move back to NJ was scheduled for the middle of June.  We would spend the summer with Chey.  I began turning my attention away from our temporary living quarters here to my "home" in NJ.  I started thinking about the changes I would make, what colors I will paint the walls and where I would arrange furniture.  I had a timeline in my head for when things would get done. 

I contacted schools, told our pediatrician and the hardest thing of all, told the bus drivers that we would be moving in June.

The middle of last week, Alan's boss decided that we needed to stay here longer.  Wasn't it their idea for us to move in June???  Yup.  It was. 

So, our perfectly timed move is now not looking so perfect.  Of course, we have a car and will be shuffling back and forth to NJ so we can see our Cheney Boy (and Ashleigh, Kevin and Bethany, too:-), but it has thrown me for a bit of a loop. 

To top things off, the adoption process has me baffled.  We have been actively pursuing adoption for well over a year now.  We have made it a priority and yet our beds remain unfilled.  I am not waiting for a baby.  I am looking to have children that are hard to place.  I feel so ready. 

I do not like to feel discouraged and yet I am. 

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