Rib Fest

Today we went to The Rib Fest with some friends.  It was such a beautiful day and we got to try some really tasty ribs.  There were 7 different rib places there and during the time we were there, you could try one of their ribs for "A Buck a Bone".  The drill was that you waited in line and got your rib and then while eating your rib, you waited in the next line.  We had a great time chatting while we were eating and my favorite of the day was the Jacked Up BBQ ribs from Forked River, NJ.   

Cheney's girlfriend Renee is here visiting us, so it was fun to take her along:-)


                                     

A Challenge

Alan challenged Cheney to arm wrestle tonight.  I thought it was a risk.  Was tonight the night that his son was stronger than he is??  Not yet:-)  He still gets to hold the title....for now;-)

Davin also wanted in on the challenge, of course!

Davin's Day in Court

He is officially ours again!!  Court went very well last week, although I was wondering in the morning when Davin and Cheney were laughing and carrying on if the judge was going to get more than he bargained for in court.  However, when the judge came in, Davin was very serious and did not make a peep. 

Before the judge came in, Davin wanted to know all about he different parts of the courtroom.  He specifically felt very strongly that he should go sit in the jury box.  He asked us if he could do that on two separate occasions.  I told him no, but later his attorney mentioned that he probably could.  No thank you.  I figured that could get him all stirred up and next thing you know he would be carrying on and lifting his shirt up.  (I don't know if I have mentioned on here, but he really loves to lift his shirt up.  When he meets someone, when he is sitting in church, at the doctor's office, anywhere really:-)  We decided that he would stay where he was and do what he was supposed to do and he was a very obedient boy. 

The judge was only concerned that we were not still NJ residents.  The only questions I had to answer were questions about this being our temporary place of residents.  Once he was satisfied, he was satisfied that we were indeed still NJ residents, he said that Davin obviously needs a guardian.  I was very thankful that I did not have to ask the questions concerning me being his guardian and taking care of him and what that requires.  I just knew that would make me very emotional and I didn't feel like I needed to bare my soul and emotions in front of the judge.  I just want my boy. He is now twice ours.  Good deal.  We will take him!!

Davin Bruce, welcome to the family again:-)

Off to Court We Go

Tomorrow we head to court with Davin to hopefully get the guardianship stuff all taken care of.  There could be some issues, so we appreciate prayers that all goes well.  I am thinking it will be an emotional day, but not really sure what to expect.  Davin's attorney assured me that nothing would be said that would hurt Davin's feelings, and that had been my biggest concern. 

Hopefully tomorrow that boy will be all ours again and we can continue to do what we have been doing for the last 18 years:-)

To Camp or Not to Camp...that is the question

I believe that Cheney was nine years old the first time he went to summer camp.  That would make Davin to have been seven.  I knew Davin would miss Cheney not being home, but I never expected his reaction at the camp.  You see, my boys slept in bunk beds.  Cheney slept on the top bunk and Davin slept on the bottom bunk at home.  When we went to get Cheney's stuff unloaded into his cabin, he chose a top bunk and we got him all set up.  I didn't notice, at first, that Davin was staring at the bottom bunk.  When we went to leave the camp, Davin was furious.  He is rarely furious.  He struggled to keep me from putting him into his car seat and he cried and cried.  I finally figured out that Davin saw that the bottom bunk under Cheney was free and he figured that must be for him.  He wanted to stay.  Davin got a camp t-shirt that day and a lot of sympathy from me.  It made sense. 

I know that Davin is a "camp kind of boy".  He loves to be outside.  He loves people.  He loves having fun.  He loves doing what everybody else is doing. 

I have thought of sending Davin to camp for quite a few years now, but it was only an idea.  My blogger friend Tracey has sent me some information about the wonderful Joni camps and highly recommended them.  I checked into those, but they were all full for our area.  I had checked into another camp as well that is in our area and they have room for Davin and now they have our deposit and we have had an interview. 

I find myself going back and forth, though.  Can I really do this?  Can I leave Davin at a camp to be cared for by people I don't know for FIVE days?  I am not sure. 

At the end of our interview, the people from the camp told me they think Davin will be an excellent fit for camp.  I told them my concerns and they sweetly said that only I can decide if I can actually send him.  Do you think they would notice me sleeping on the floor next to his bed?? 

There are so many things that Davin does not get to do.  That cannot be avoided and although he is sometimes annoyed, he really handles the disappointment well for the most part.  Camp is something that he can do, but can I let him?  My world has gotten pretty small in the last seven years as far as Davin's care is concerned.  We do not ask our parents to watch him anymore really because it is more than they can handle.  The only people that care for Davin overnight are the five of us.  I guess that is the beauty of Davin being the youngest of four kids and with him being so much smaller than they are.  Ashleigh, Bethany and Cheney all can take care of him.  I trust them completely. 

I know that some of my fears are just being overprotective and some of my fears are very real concerns.  Some of those very significant problems that I have been concerned about seem to be correcting themselves, so now I am thinking.....maybe.....?????

Scuff Marks

For the last two days, I have had to clean scuff marks off of my kitchen floor.  Instead of those scuff marks making me annoyed, they made me smile.  Those marks reminded me that my bigger boy is home now.  Sure, he brings with him some mess that we didn't have before he got here, but I will take it because he is here.  Those marks on the floor also reminded me God's provision for Cheney for the summer.  Due to Cheney's sweet friend, (who happens to be my sweet friend's son:-), Cheney came home from college on Friday and began a FULL TIME job on MONDAY!!!  In order to start the job, he had to get work boots and that is how I got the scuffs on my floor. 

Will those scuff marks still be bringing a smile to my face in the middle of July?  Perhaps not, but I hope they still remind me of God's blessings. 

A Bonus with Bigger Kids

It is Mother's Day weekend and I was so excited that 3 of my kids were going to be here for the weekend!!  I was thrilled with just preparing for that, but then....  Davin came home from school on Friday with this beautiful Mother's Day gift for his Mama:-)

Isn't it beautiful??  I love presents like this.  I have it on my porch already:-) 

Then, we headed to the airport to pick up one Cheney Alan Scott and then when we got home, Bethany pulled into the driveway and had this very special surprise for Mother's Day for me!!

She surprised me and brought Baby Rocky Balboa!!!!  I was so excited since I miss my puppy so much. 

Well, all of that was amazing, but today first thing in the morning, our doorbell rung and these were waiting for me at the door.....

I have never ever had one of the creations from Edible Arrangements and we ate it for breakfast.  Yummy and beautiful!

Next, my middle kids snuck away for a while and came back and gave me these.....

What a spoiled Mom I am!!! I was thrilled just to have most of my kids with me.  (By the way, and for the record, Ashleigh and Kevin orchestrated the Edible Arrangement:-)   I have decided that one nice thing about my kids getting bigger (because we all know I whine a lot about them being older now;-) is that they have jobs and buy me presents!!! 

Happy Mother's Day to all of my beautiful blogger friends who are Moms!!

Words

I have heard Davin speak twice in his entire 18 years of life.  He said "I love you" twice during the same car ride and if my mom and sister had not been in the car to verify it, I would have thought I had lost my mind.  That was years and years ago and I know it must seem sad to other people to think of having a non-verbal son, but I don't really think of Davin that way.  He expresses himself so beautifully and is quite bossy even. 

A couple of days ago, I asked Davin three questions in a row and he answered me either by nodding or gestures.  He did so well answering my questions so quickly and I was so proud of him for thinking everything through so quickly.  I told him he was so smart...and he ANSWERED ME OUT LOUD!!!  He said UH HUH!!!! 

Now, if your child speaks all the time, you may correct them when they say "uh huh".  I would and have:-)  But, if your child does not speak, and he says UH HUH, you go crazy!  Tears well up in your eyes and you gush over him about answering you with words. 

Thank you God for the unexpected blessings that you give me every day.

Being Awake is Probably Key

I should probably wait to discuss something so serious with Davin as segregation and the Freedom Ride until Davin is awake:-)   I was discussing this subject with him, but turned to look at him and realized he was asleep.

This is such an incredible subject to me.  How can we ever think that someone is less than someone else because of the color of their skin?  Every one of us is created in the image of God!!

Our Cares

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7

I once had a little girl who was often anxious.  She sucked two of her little fingers and even as she grew she continued this habit when she felt nervous or anxious.  I remember asking her one day when she was in second grade if she got embarrassed at school when she was sucking her fingers since she was now so big.  She told me that she would simply put her head under her desk so it was no worry:-) 

That little girl did stop sucking her fingers during her second grade year, but immediately took up biting her nails...another anxiety soothing activity. 

As she grew, she went to the Word, she took her cares to her Lord and Savior, but she still struggled. 

She also did some really fantastic things and was so brave, but as the end of high school drew near and decisions needed to be made about college, those anxieties came out once again.  It all ended with a Mom and Dad leaving a very angry daughter at Word of Life Bible Institute. They parted with very heavy hearts. 

Ashleigh has learned to trust and to get over her anxieties for the most part in her life. 

A few months ago, Ashleigh started having some health problems.  At first, she tried coping. She wanted to see if the problems were stress related.  Eventually she could not ignore them, and became proactive about going to doctors and having some tests done. 

I believe the computer can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.  For someone who struggles with anxiety, reading about all of the things you could possibly have can be a bit of a curse.  Being someone who is anxious at times, makes it very hard not to read all the information. 

Ashleigh has stopped reading the information online.  She also just had several tests done and they all came back negative.  The doctor who first diagnosed her with a stomach infection may or may not have been correct says a specialist.  So, what is going on?  Ashleigh is left wondering if the beginning symptoms caused her so much worry added in with the extra online information that she has become very sick. 

I often find it so funny? that with all of the temptations in the world, Satan often uses the same one on us over and over again. He doesn't always need to be very resourceful. When we are prone to a certain weakness, he can use that one over and over again. I know he has done that in my life and I find myself learning the same lessons over and over again and wonder when I will ever GET it!

So, Ashleigh will continue to try to figure out what is going on physically while at the same time trying to give everything over to the Lord and rest in His care for her.  I am proud of her. 

I am praying for you, Loubie and I love you very much!!

P.S.  Did I forget to mention that the little girl above once had a young mom who thought she was sick and was often throwing up through the night?  Later, that young mom found out it was her nerves.  How quickly I forget where I once was;-)



One Week Away

In a week, I will have one more boy under my roof:-)  I will spend the next week preparing his room, making adjustments in the apartment and getting things that he will need for the summer.  I am a firm believer that by doing these things, I encourage my kids to come home.  I want them to know that I miss them when they are not here and long for them to return!!  Let the countdown begin!  Maybe some girls will even show up next weekend to welcome their "little" brother home:-)

I Realize

I realize if I just had a regular ol' run of the mill kind of 18-year-old at my house right now, he probably would not have me read to him at bedtime.  He probably wouldn't fall asleep with his little face right next to mine while I was reading You Are Special by Max Lucado. 

I'll take it:-) 

"Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. 
                    "Because you're mine.  That's why you matter to me." "

Remembering...

I met Angie when our kids were at Easter Seals.  Davin had been receiving therapy services there for a couple of years and one day we found out that his class (that I attended with him) was going to get a new student.  A nurse came in and explained that a mom and her little girl were coming to our class and that they had been hurt before.  We were not told what the little girl's limitations were, but we wanted to be ready for them and of course, we were curious after having an announcement made in that way.  The next week, I met Angie.  She was late.  She was always late:-)  She got there about a half hour after we started and there was this little girl slung over her arm with this long brown hair flowing over to the side.  Angie was a young mom and we immediately hit it off. 

As we sat side by side in our little class for many weeks, Angie became a close friend of mine.  We got all of our kids together outside of Easter Seals.  She had two older children and I had three.  We developed traditions together.  Every time one of us would leave the other's house, we would drive over an egg or tomato and our kids thought this was a hoot. 

I got to know this little girl Francis.  Francis could not walk or talk or sit up or see or smile.  But..you never doubted for one minute that you should love Francis.  I watched how Angie took care of her baby girl and how she loved her and I knew that I should love Francis, too.  I learned how to hold Francis and where to place my arms around her head.  Angie left me in charge while she ran to the store and I begged Francis to be a good girl and not have any seizures while her Mommy was gone because I wasn't so good with seizures;-)  She obliged. 

Davin loved Francis.  Angie loved Davin.  I had a friend in this new world of disabilities and therapy and all that it brought with it. 

15 years ago, I got a phone call from Angie telling me that Francs had passed away.  She was 3 1/2.  I told Angie that I would be there the next day.  Our family packed up and headed to NJ.  As I drove to Angie's house, I cried.  I prayed.  I wondered what in the world I was going to say to my dear friend who had just lost her perfect, perfect baby girl.  When I arrived, Angie told me that I would be going with her over to the funeral home to view Francis' little body.  I wondered how in the world I could do that and yet felt so blessed that Angie would have me share such a private and excruciating moment with her and her family. 

So, 15 years ago, the day after Easter, we said goodbye to a little girl whose life on earth was short, but whose impact was so big.  I learned so much about worth from both Francis and from watching Angie's life.  I learned about unconditional love and gained just a little bit more understanding of how unconditional God's love is for me. 

Today I remember a little girl who walked into my world slung over her mom's arm. 

You Should Put Me in the Zoo

Yesterday, Bethany and I packed up Davin and headed for the Philadelphia Zoo.  We met Ashleigh there with the twins that she babysits.  We had a fun day!  It is always a good day when I get to spend time with my kids.  Even though one was missing, it was still a good day!

Davin was mostly interested in watching the baby girls, though.  One of the twins loved sitting with Davin and he thought that was pretty fantastic!  They are adorable and were such good girls.  I think the best part was getting to watch Ashleigh take care of them.  She does such an excellent job with them and I was so proud of her. 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow Davin will be having an MRI.  It will be the first time he will be sedated since his surgery and all of the respiratory problems that followed that time.  I KNOW it is different.  I KNOW that.  I do.  I know having a five hour major surgery and being put into a spika cast is a far cry from being sedated for an MRI.   Maybe I am still just a little bit nervous. 

Be still, my soul...He is.

Interesting Dinner Conversation

It is not just any restaurant that you can go into and talk (loudly) to a lady who has just come from the hospital after chopping the end of her finger off and also get the play by play from a man (also loudly) who just got released from the hospital days ago (Saturday to be exact) after a very serious hernia operation.  I can give you the size of his wound, the hospitals where each of them were seen and treated.  I can tell you the length of his stay in the hospital and even what time his surgery was.

While I was sitting trying to eat my dinner, but also engaging in conversation with my new friends, who at one point were almost in a competition for my attention and had my head swinging back and forth, I thought about how interesting it must be for any other patrons in the restaurant to have to listen to medical stories through dinner.  Thankfully there were only 2 other people sitting at tables for part of our conversation.  It is a tiny restaurant, though, and certainly if you were in there, you were part of the conversation.

Only in the Mills??  I doubt it.  People everywhere want to be heard.  They want to know that someone cares about what they have just been through.  I really was happy to listen, but would have preferred being entirely done with my dinner first as I am not a huge fan of medical stuff.

Oh, and our goodbyes....our gentleman friend came over to our table and wished us well while reiterating a few points made previously.  While he was standing there with our full attention, our new lady friend came up behind him and mouthed something with an annoyed look.  I am assuming she was annoyed that he was talking so much and had cut her off.  (Our gentleman friend had won the competition for my attention earlier.  I couldn't help it.  He was in the middle of a sentence when she started talking.)  Finally both of our new friends took their leave and surprisingly I could not eat another bite;-)

Ahhh.... French Fries

I cannot say how much I love french fries.  (Something I share with one of the readers of this blog and you know who you are;-)  It is probably the one food that I could eat every single day.  If I am going to go into a restaurant or go through a drive through and just get one thing, that is it.  Love them. 

Since becoming intentional with my eating, I have intentionally steered clear of french fries.  I went to McDonald's to meet a friend and got no french fries.  Just a fruit parfait:-)  I have gotten sandwiches and opted to not have fries. 

But today.....today I let myself have some.  They were good.  They were really good and you know what?  I think I appreciated having french fries even more because I don't usually eat them now.  For the first time maybe ever.....I left a whole bunch on my plate!! 

What is your absolute favorite food?  Good or bad??

A Little Trick

If you think my boy isn't a smart one, then you don't know him well.  For the last week, Davin has been asking to go to bed pretty stinkin early.  I figured out days ago that he wanted to go to bed to avoid exercises that we do at night.  Today he asked to go to bed at 4:58 pm, so I put him to bed:-)  I really do crack myself up sometimes.  I didn't make him stay in there for the night, but talked on and on about how he wanted to go to bed.  He hadn't even had dinner yet, but was very happy to lay in there in his bed even after I left the room.  What some boys will do to get out of exercises!

The Birthday Boy

Happy Birthday to the love of my life, Alan Scott.  I am so blessed to be on this journey with you.

Intentional (Take #2)

I am not a rigid schedule person, nor am I a huge fly-by-the-seat of my pants.  I rest pretty comfortably in the middle.  Since marriage and motherhood got off to a very early start for me and I went right from high school into my new life, I found myself always busy.  I never set huge goals for myself because I concentrated on figuring what needed to happen next. 

Since moving to NY is a temporary move with a specific amount of time, it caused me to think about this next year.  My life at this point is pretty quiet, and I knew moving here with just one kid in my house, no job and apartment living would free up lots and lots of time. I began to think about what I would do with it all.  So, unlike me, I made some bigger goals.  They are not all huge, but I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what I wanted this next year to look like.  I became intentional about this next year. 

One of my goals has been to get in shape.  I had really let things get out of control in this area of my life and besides the fact that I would like to feel good about the way I look and feel, I have someone counting on me being able to lift him and care for him for a long, long time.  I intentionally decided to make some changes in my life where fitness and eating was concerned.  So, intentionally, I start exercising every weekday as soon as I put Davin on the bus.  It has been six weeks now:-)  Along the way, I have picked up a ruggedly good-looking exercise partner (Alan) and two super cute new workout outfits.  Those were not intentional, but sure have encouraged me to continue on.  I have intentionally changed the way I eat.  You all know I was practically being force-fed wheat rolls and bread at my every turn, so I guess I decided to stop kicking and screaming and just join in:-)  I have intentionally cut my calories way down.  I think about what I am eating and intentionally look at labels and calories. 

I am being intentional about my devotions.  I have a time and a place for them and they almost always happen now.  Why has it taken me so long to get this under control?  I am being intentional about it now and it makes a huge difference!

I also had four scrapbooks to complete this year.  I intentionally completed my first project about a month ago and have three more to go.  I need to pick up the pace with this goal.  I need to intentionally have one day a week where that is my focus because I have the time and the energy to do that at this point.  Life will not always be this slow, but for now, God is giving me a rest and I am thankful.  I do miss the busyness of life, but I am so thankful for the rest knowing that He cares for me.

Oh yeah, there is one more rather big goal.....we have intentionally decided to expand our family.  After many years of feeling God tugging on our hearts to adopt, we feel very called that now is the time!!!  We specifically feel called to adopt a sibling group and are starting the process.  I will share more about this on my other blog Always Room for More, but we are so excited!!  Oh, and we are so scared!!!  I go in between quite frequently, but have such a peace knowing that this is the path we are to walk at this time.