Food Fight

I am in a food fight with Davin. Unfortunately, at the present, he is winning. It is a battle that rears its ugly head from time to time. The first battle with food was before he was 2 years old.

These days Davin is "supposed" to have oatmeal for breakfast. There are very few choices for breakfast since the school gave me a fit and a feeding center changed his whole diet for me:-) Thank you very much to them. Davin ate oatmeal every morning until he was probably 12 or so and then I started giving him cereal! He loved it and I would be careful that it was mushy before he started eating it, but then the diet change....and here we are back at oatmeal for the last 4 years, I guess.

Davin's normal routine is to eat the entire bowl of oatmeal. It gives him a good start and I have found the oatmeal to be an excellent place to stash some things I want to get in him for the day. I can throw in his calcium and vitamin D chewable thing, his flax, butter for more calories and sometimes even a multi-vitamin. Well, he is not too thrilled lately with oatmeal and I can not shove it into his mouth!

Normally, if my kids won't eat what I have for them, I just say fine. No biggie. But, when your kid is 17 and weighs a whopping 65 pounds and some of that has to be attributed to the hardware in his hip;-), you are a little more persistent about eating the calories.

So, we are in a fight. This morning it was a draw. He ate almost half. When school starts, it will be a different story. Do I wait this out or give him the yogurt that he will gladly eat? Yogurt has between 100 and 200 calories and I can not get the extras into that as easily. Definitely not the calcium because that needs to melt for him to be able to eat it.

Did I mention that we went to the neuro yesterday and she thinks Davin is way too thin?? Oi

I Had a Feeling

A mother in front of us in line at the place to get your blood drawn was waiting for her teenage daughter. She had been waiting for a while. She was getting nervous. She finally tried to go in and see what was happening. She came out and said there were 2 people with her. She asked what was going on and was told her daughter would be fine. What did that mean? Find with what?

Davin and I went in to have Davin's blood drawn. We had the same lady. She went over and whispered something to another tech over by the teenage girl who was still not done. I knew I should ask for another tech. This one just didn't seem quite competent. How did I really know that, though? I just hate to hurt people's feelings.

I back Davin's wheelchair up and tell her he has good veins in either arm and ask her if she has a preference for his arms. She asks me if I am going to stretch his arm out and hold it. I tell her that is what I usually do. I stretch his arm out and she grunts. I ask her if that is good or bad. She finally sticks him and has to move the needle around. It is uncomfortable for Davin. I can tell. I just keep telling Davin what a good boy he is and that it is almost over. She doesn't say a word to him. We are on the second of three vials and the tech asks me if his vein usually blows up like that. I tell her no. I have never seen that happen.

Maybe some mothers would not know if the vein usually blows up, but I am always holding Davin's arm, so my head is inches from his little arm. I ask her what it means for it to be blown up. She said that his vein just blew. What??? She is telling me in this voice that is not caring, not concerned, not anything. I ask her what that means. She said it is no big deal. She told me that I am holding his arm tight, so that is going to happen. I ask how it will heal and she said it is not a big deal and it will just heal. She is making me feel like I am being ridiculous. I am not panicked or freaking out, but I would like to know if I should be watching for something or have my doctor look at his arm or anything. To top everything off, as she is continuing to draw his blood, she asks me if I want her to stop. How should I know if she should stop? I told her that she would know better than I would if she needed to stop. I do not know what having a blown vein means!!

The tech goes over and tells the other tech what happened and had her tell me again (but in a much nicer and more thorough way) that it would heal by itself. Our tech tells me that his veins are very small and she used the smallest butterfly needle they have and that , of course, this (his vein blowing out) is going to happen. Hmmm, that is interesting because his veins are much bigger than they used to be and he has his blood taken every six months at least and has for his whole life.

I realize it is not a big deal and that it really was nothing to worry about. I just think I had a right to ask questions about something that happened to my child and I just wanted her to explain to me and maybe to Davin what had happened and maybe in a respectful way that didn't make it seem like I was ridiculous.

A Reminder

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6

I really need to be reminded of this verse over and over and over again.

A Sleepover!!!!

In just a few minutes Bethany is coming to pick Davin up for a sleepover!!! She is house sitting for my sister and asked if Davin would like to have a sleepover. Are you kidding?? Of course, he would! Davin doesn't get to go on sleepovers very often, so the thought of it is very exciting for him and for me. I am excited that his sister would think of doing that for him and that he can be excited to go. We have talked about it all afternoon and now we just have to finish up dinner and get a bag packed. Sissy is even going to take him swimming tomorrow:-)

And Then There Was 1

I knew this day was coming. I certainly prayed my boy back to Wheaton. I rejoiced and cried tears of joy as we watched the Lord provide the seemingly impossible funding that enabled Cheney to go back for his second year. My logical mind knows that is where he is supposed to be and would never stand in the way. But....my Mom's heart is never ready for him to leave.

I was so thrilled to see his excitement at returning to college this year. I see how much growth there has been in him in the past year. I know he is supposed to be far away from home during this time and yet....I was not ready to let him go.

I hugged him at the airport and smiled....but was not ready to send him off.

He knows. He knows he is loved here, wanted here, cherished here, appreciated here, but he also knows he belongs at Wheaton.

I know tomorrow will be better, but today the tears seem to come so quickly. Sometime they catch me by surprise and sometimes I expect them.

This morning as we got ready to leave for the airport, I told Cheney I was pretending he was going to camp. I thought it might help:-) Tomorrow, I am carving a space of his room as my new scrapbook space (until he comes home, of course). I am hopeful that will ease my pain. Probably not, but I will be happy to have a place to work on my scrapbooks. Maybe I will get around to finishing the book for him that was supposed to be done by high school graduation;-)

I am hoping that the pirate flag that now hangs in his room that reads, "The beatings will continue until morale improves", will encourage my creativity;-)

Where Is My Heart?

I feel like I could be at a crossroads and yet part of my heart keeps tugging me back. After doing Awana and youth group for many years, I thought that maybe my time was up, at least for youth group. I had not made many connections with the girls this year as I am usually with Davin during youth group. I had expected that this would happen as I am more of Davin's aide while I am there. That is okay, but I wondered if I should still be there if I am not making progress with the girls. It seemed as if God was leading me away from there. Then, some connections are being made and I am left unsure of how God is leading.

Then, there is this very handsome man who will be living most of his days in Rochester. He doesn't like to live without me and I am thankful for that. If finances work out, we are reconsidering making the move to Rochester for a time. Part of me loves this and part of me doesn't. Both of my girls will be staying here, but I like to support my man and be there to make him dinner and take care of him during the week. He is so good about doing what he has to do to provide for our family and doesn't complain, but I know it would mean a lot to him if Davin and I (and at times Cheney:-) were there. It is not simple, though. We have a house here that, for many reasons that I won't explain, we need to keep. I have been apartment hunting again online and looking at some different areas to figure out if we can do it. So, limbo again. My favorite;-)

I have also been seeing a need and feeling a tug to minister to Moms with young children. I was involved with a MOPS program at my sister's church for a couple of years and I think this may be a ministry that God would have me take on in the near future. But, I must know first if I will be here or there. I know that God will show me what I am to do. I am very thankful and excited about the new connections I am making with the youth group and excited about the possibility of a ministry to young mothers that God seems to be laying on my heart. So many possibilities!

How Tricky It Can Be

I have grown very accustomed to having a child who is non-verbal. It does not often cause a problem really. I hardly think of him as being non-verbal. He is so much a part of everything and he is constantly communicating although not with words.

When Davin becomes sick or has something bothering him, things become a bit more difficult. I have been doing this for over 17 years, so I can read him pretty well and up until now have not had him into the doctor's office needlessly very often. So, when I notice something seems "different", I watch. I watch and watch and then at times, I begin to panic. Yup, I panic. I know it is hard to believe, but it does occasionally happen. I think God has given me that line where I cross over to being concerned and he uses that to keep Davin safe. I have to go with my gut since Davin doesn't have words.

Last night, I got concerned and it ended with a trip to the emergency room. In the end, the problem is not huge and Davin will be fine. The doctor and nurse were so compassionate. Poor Davin was nervous as could be. All that happened following his hip surgery in 2007 certainly has affected how he feels in a hospital setting.

Thursday Thirteen (My Sissy)

I decided to do a Thursday Thirteen today in honor of my sister. She just celebrated her 19th wedding anniversary and that is a pretty big deal:-) She is my only sibling and just happens to be the one I would choose if I got to pick. Here are 13 things about my sister, Jenny:

1. She was always called Jenny growing up, but now most of us call her Jen.

2. She is a nurse and has just accepted a job as a school nurse. I have mixed feelings about this;-)

3. She has three adorable children...Taylor, Trey and Jonah.

4. Jen is 18 months younger than me.

5. She grew taller than me.

6. Jen is the person I call to ask advice.

7. She is probably the most easy-going person I have ever known.

8. She deals very well with a sister who is a little more high-strung:-)

9. Jen's husband served in Iraq for a year. It was a very difficult year, but she handled it in an amazing way, just like she does every challenge.

10. She loves Jesus.

11. She makes me laugh all the time. We have lots of sister jokes that no one else finds that funny. That makes them even funnier to us!

12. I may have traumatized her during our childhood. For that, I am sorry. Really, I am:-)

13. She is perhaps the most reliable person I know. I can always count on her to listen to me, help me, or support me in any way that she can. She is the best and I am so blessed to call her my sister and my friend.

Missing Him

I am missing my Alan this week. Although we have spent lots and lots of days/weeks/months apart, sometimes I just miss him more. This is one of those times. He left early Monday morning and doesn't come home until late next Tuesday evening. All of our kids were here tonight for dinner and it made me sad he wasn't here. He loves when we are all together. Cheney's girlfriend Renee has been here this week visiting and he is missing that, too.

I am so thankful that he does what he needs to do to provide for us. Most of the time, I am okay with being here without him. Just not this week.

My Banner

I was listening to K-LOVE yesterday on the way to youth group (a half hour late!). It was the Proverbs 31 segment and it really touched me. She was talking about seeing someone who had won a beauty pageant and that this young woman was wearing her banner across her chest that stated her title. She went on to say that we wear banners, too. We may not wear them across our chest, but the world sees our banners. Do our banners read that we have joy, patience, long-suffering, hope, and peace?

I really like this analogy and feel challenged by it. Even if my banner does not read "Miss America":-), I am being watched. The things I say and my attitude affect the people around me and can either point them to what I have in Christ or turn them off from it.

Help me Lord to remember to wear your banners to the world I come in contact with.

Moving On...

Well, the day has finally come and gone. It was a strange date because for several months it was the day that Bethany was to be married and more recently, it became the date she was not getting married. We are now past that day and Alan commented last night that it is good to have that behind us. We are moving forward. Bethany is doing well and continues to rest in the fact that she made the right decision, in spite of the fact that it was a hard one. Instead of having a rehearsal dinner and wedding/reception, we went to see Despicable Me as a family and spent an afternoon and evening at Ocean City Boardwalk. We ate cheesesteaks together. Once during the weekend, Alan was concerned that we were spending too much money, but I reminded him that we were not spending nearly as much as we expected to;-)

A Special Prayer Request

Do you know how you pray for lots of different requests, but every once in a while, one just grabs you by the heart and won't let go? That is where I am today. A friend from church just delivered her baby girl. I believe little Addison is about 13 weeks early. About a month ago or so, the doctors had shared with the soon-to-be parents that they feared the baby had some kind of medical issues. This one has got my heart. I am praying and praying and often find myself on the verge of tears. Oh Lord, be merciful....

Bye Bye Bunk Beds

We have had at least one set of bunk beds in our home for at least 22 years. A short while ago, I decided that one change that we could easily make in our house and would hopefully help my back a little was to get rid of the last set of bunk beds. Davin had been sleeping on the bottom bunk of the set that he shared with Cheney for many years.

Last weekend, we cleaned and sorted and moved things around. Davin is now the proud owner of a slightly used full bed. (Previously, it was Mom Mom and Pop Pop's, Ashleigh's, Bethany's, and then Cheney's) He was pretty excited to be up higher and be able to see out of his window now. I am also thinking that he may be expecting Cheney to sleep there from now on with him, too since it was most recently Cheney's bed:-)

Today I am waiting for a futon to be delivered for Cheney's room. His room is teeny tiny and I was trying to come up with a good solution that would be comfortable for him, but also allow me to use his room a little bit for other things (scrapbooking:-) when he is at college. We are hoping the futon will fit in the room and Cheney will come home to a place to sleep when he gets back from Ohio tomorrow!

The Looks I Get

Tomorrow is the first day of summer school. This year and for the past couple of years, we have signed Davin up for summer school. His siblings all have jobs and with our house being pretty quiet in the summertime, it seems like a better option for him. I know that summer school is much more laid back. They do fun things and go on lots of walks.

When all of the kids were home for the summers, we decided that Davin would stay home from summer school. He just missed too much being away from the house. We would either have to wait for him to get home from his half day or he would miss whatever activity we were doing and we didn't like that.

Since Davin stayed home for all of summer break for most of his life, he knows what summer feels like. He knows it is not one or two weeks. A couple of years ago, when we first decided to send him to summer school, he looked at me with a pretty annoyed look when he was riding up the lift on the bus. It was a look that said to me, "I know what summer vacation is and I KNOW this was not it!!". I had to chuckle and yet he was not amused.

The other night, Davin was in the tub and I was talking to him about school stopping for the summer and then how he would go to summer school just a few days later. Davin started shaking his head no back and forth and back and forth. He hardly ever shakes his head and certainly doesn't do it consistently. I kept talking to him and telling him how much fun summer school is and how they do fun things and Davin just kept shaking his head no over and over and over again. In between, he would look at me like I was crazy for thinking summer school was a good idea.

So, tomorrow when the lift takes his sparkly black wheelchair up, I wonder what look I will get from Davin. It seems he has made his feelings pretty clear:-) Maybe if I have some kind of great snack waiting for him when he gets home....that seems to work pretty well for boys.

Perplexed

I have been married to Alan for 25 years. We have been in a relationship for 28 years and I have known him since I was 8 or 9 years old. So, you would think in that amount of time, he would know certain things about me. Along the way, he must have missed a couple of things.

Alan and Bethany graciously went to the store for me last night. I needed to make a pie and wanted to get started on that right after evening church, so they were willing to make the trip to the store so I wouldn't have to. I gave them a list and on that list was a birthday card. Today is a friend's birthday and I wanted to get her a card. No big deal. I just needed a card for a friend. No worries. I had total faith in the team that I had sent to do the job.

After they got home and unloaded the groceries, Alan instructed Bethany to show me the card they had gotten for me. They were both smiling. Okay, no problem. They got a funny card. I am funny. I like funny cards.

Bethany showed me the front and it was talking about animals or something. Okay, it was cute. She opens it up and inside the card, they are talking about poop. What???? They got me a card that had the word "poop" in it and then to top it off, there was a picture of poop with flies flying around it. I looked at Alan and asked him what in my life made him think that I would be able to give a card about "poop" to anyone. He smiled again and said he thought I would think it was funny. Really?? Are you sure you were thinking of me, the one you have known for most of your life?? Hmmm....

I guess we still have some things to find out about each other. No worries, though. My sister came to the rescue and I traded her my "poop" card for a nice friend card. My nephew will LOVE giving that to one of his friends:-)

Some Ugliness

Today I was ugly. I wasn't the only one, but nonetheless, I was ugly. I am responsible for my own actions. My son and I had a bit of a shouting match and it looked to be taking a very bad turn. Everything is fine now, but being a parent to college age and young adults is a very difficult task for me. The lines seem blurry, the goal unclear. It all seemed much easier when they were younger and I knew my role. It was so clearly defined. I could go into my parenting with assurance and gusto. Now, I am not always sure. Teach me, Lord.

As for Bethany, she is plugging away. God has been good and she worked through lots of things in the last couple of weeks. She is getting her wits about her and looking for what God has for her next. If you think to pray for Bethany, she could use prayer about the direction God would have her go.

Davin's golf tournament is a week from tomorrow. We are really short on everything and it is hard not to panic. God knows, though. I tell myself that over and over. He will not stop providing for Davin's needs. Praise God.

This Long Week

I saw this week coming, and yet could not really visualize how it would all play out. This week I watched someone I love very much have to make an excruciating decision. It was painful to watch and yet I am so proud of her.

Bethany's wedding date had been set for July 10th of this year. Just six weeks away... real doubts had set in a few weeks ago. Finally, on Monday night after talking things through with her Daddy, she was able to come to the decision she knew was right. She and Jeff were not right for each other. There were many, many tears. There was relief. There was assurance from God over and over again that this was the right decision. God is good all the time. In the midst of the hard, painful times, we see Him so clearly. I am so thankful that God loves my Bethany more than I can even imagine and that is A LOT.

My husband is not perfect. I do not share his imperfect times on my blog. I know that I only write about him when I am sharing good things. That is how I choose to write my blog. Although he is not perfect, I can say that I could not have asked for a better father for my children. I could not even have dreamed of all the things that he is to them. I have watched his relationships with them for their entire lives and it has always been one of my greatest joys. But, watching him lovingly care for his baby girl (okay, she's 22, but still..) and talk her through everything and then finally say the words that could free her from her commitment that she felt so strongly, the words that would let her crumble so that God could rebuild something beautiful, I was just in awe. With tears in my eyes, I watched one of the most painful and yet beautiful moments that I may ever witness. His love for her is immense and it showed. Her love for him is the same. It also showed.

I must say that this week has been one of the hardest. It has hurt to watch Bethany walk through such a difficult time. It has been a joy to watch her siblings and friends and family love her and cling to her and pray her through this time. God is good. He brings us to the place we need to be to be able to work in us his perfect will. God has His best in store for Bethany and I can't wait to see what it is.

Finding Yet Another Thing....

Today I found yet another water sport that I am a disaster at:-) Early this morning, our whole gang headed out of the hotel and rented a speed boat. We had it for two whole hours and it came complete with a wake board, jet skis and a tube. We held Davin tight while he screamed in delight as the wind blew in his face. We started taking turns on the tube. Bethany did it first and then Cheney took a turn and he was like a professional tube rider!! I was impressed. Next was Lexi's turn. She was a bit more "apprehensive" about the whole thing, but she did great. I was especially impressed with Cheney when I went to take my turn. I could hardly make myself jump out of the boat into the dark water. (Just thinking about that makes me feel a bit nauseous!) I finally managed to make myself jump in and then had to get on top of the tube. That was no easy feat for me and I hadn't even started riding yet! I finally managed to get up on the tube and rode for a little ways. It was fun! However, at the end of my ride, I fell into the water (again making me a bit nervous. Who knew what was in there? We had just visited Alligator Adventure earlier in the week!) Lastly, I had to get back INTO the boat. I thought I would never make it. I tried and tried and was so tired from my ride, I had no energy left to hoist myself back into the boat. Eventually, with my ever graceful moves and help from my strong Cheney Boy, I made it back into the boat safe and sound. Cheney and Bethany took more turns and did just great! Cheney even tried the wake board (which looks sooo very hard), but he was never able to get up on it this time.

For lunch, we ate at Hamburger Joe's. I enjoyed this so much, partly because it reminded me of Charlie's burgers from the Rochester area. I always loved that place and it was nice to have something similar. We had seen a commercial for this place and so Alan found it for me so we could all go. I decided I would like a t-shirt from the place since I had wanted to go there so badly, but unfortunately, the ones they had all had something written on it that I would not wear, so....no shirt.

Having gotten up so early, we still had tons of daylight left. We headed to the pool for a little bit more sun. Alan and Davin took a swim and then we all headed back up to rest for a bit. Tonight we spend some time packing up as this is our last night in Myrtle Beach. Tomorrow morning, we head to New Bern, NC where we will spend a couple more days before finally heading home.

We have had such a wonderful time together as a family (minus our Ashleigh and Kevin).

Monday

Today was a much slower day than yesterday. We realized we had been running Davin ragged in the past couple of weeks, so today we took it easy for the day. We all slept in and had a nice breakfast in the late morning. I like having the time to do that. After we got all cleaned up, we decided to head down to the pool for a little while. Bethany and Lexi were already down when Davin and I arrived. Davin had a great time swimming with the girls.

Bethany and Lexi and Aunt Sharon and Chelsea had made an appointment to go horseback riding at 2 pm. While they were gone, we just lounged around and enjoyed playing Phase 10 with Grandmom and Leah (another one of my nieces who is here, but I forgot to mention.) We had a nice time munching and playing the card game.

Bethany and Lexi got back to report to us how horseback riding went. The look on Lexi's face really said it all. Lexi is not a fan of horses or horseback riding. This was her first experience doing that and I think it may be her last. It sounded like an hour and a half of torture. I could not help but remember a similar horseback riding experience that I had in Aruba. This was two and a half hours of terror. Just pure terror. Much to Lexi's credit, she did not cry while on her horseback ride. During my ride, I was sobbing within two minutes of leaving. I definitely knew I would not be going with them today:-)

Tonight we will let Davin get a little bit of extra sleep, so we can do something fun tomorrow. What will it be?

For Ashleigh

This week we are on vacation in Myrtle Beach! We planned this vacation about ten months ago and have looked forward to it. Ashleigh was unable to come with us at the last minute, so we will update the blog with pictures to show her what we are doing. We miss you, Loubie!

Sunday was our first full day in Myrtle Beach. We went to the beach in the morning, which was no easy task. It has been about four years since we have taken Davin to the beach. It gets a bit harder as he gets bigger. When he was little, we carried him all the way down. As he grew, we took turns carrying him. Several years ago, I got a sled and pulled him on it when we got to the sand. This year, we drug his wheelchair backwards across the sand and then had a bath chair for him down by the water. It worked out pretty good, but I am not sure we will be hitting the beach every day;-)

Later in the day, we rounded everyone up (Alan's brother and his family are here, too. Also, Alan's parents are here.) except for Grandmom and Grandpop and went to the aquarium. We loved it and some of us even got to touch stingrays!

After the aquarium, we walked around Broadway on the Boardwalk (not sure if that is the real name) looking in shops, picking up a couple of souveniers and eating dinner at a Japanese steakhouse. Great day, but a very full day. I don't think all of our days will be quite so jam-packed.

Also, you may notice that we have an extra person with us. Her name is Alexis (Lexi) and she came with us on vacation!