My Job Got Personal

I work very part-time for my brother-in-law. I help with the filing at his law firm. I go in whenever my schedule permits and I enjoy the people I work with. They always make me feel like I am doing them a huge favor by coming in and filing!

Today I was at work filing just like I usually do. I happened upon a document called a "Final Decree". I read part of it as I was trying to figure out how to file it. As I read, I realized this document had more meaning for me than I had known.

Alan and I were told that before Davin turns 18, we must become Davin's legal guardians. I had no idea this was something we had to do. Wouldn't we just continue caring for Davin like always because he is our son? Apparently, when someone is 18, they are an adult. If they are not able to make decisions about their care, etc, they need a guardian. We have been discussing this with my brother-in-law and as an attorney, he is going to help us do this in the next couple of weeks. I guess I had not thought too much about the legal aspect of this. I just thought it would be a judge seeing that we love our son and want to take care of him for the rest of our lives.

Well, as I read the document, the words that they used to describe this person.....it brought tears to my eyes. The document talks about how this person can not make decisions for themselves and it all sounded so hopeless. So, I am guessing that Davin's document will not say, "Davin is an 17 year-old young man who is loved and adored and needs his family's input to make decisions." I wish it was going to say that, but the words I read today, cut through me like a knife. The court was going to talk about my son that same way.

To tell the truth, this has been happening for Davin's whole life. I have received tons of papers that described what Davin can't do. Reading any of those papers would discourage me so much, especially in the beginning. However, as I got used to "the drill", I started getting the papers in the mail and tucking them away where I had them if I needed them, but I didn't have to give them the power to define who my boy was or was not. Davin is not just words on a paper. He is my son, a brother to three siblings who adore him, a grandson who lights up when he sees his grandparents, especially his grandfathers:) Davin gives so much and does not have speech. How much smarter is he than me to be able to communicate with so little??

I think the day we go through the court proceedings will be rough. We have been through rough days before. We have heard devastating news before. To quote my husband from the day that our son was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, "Heather, is he any different than he was yesterday?" I will remember those words on that day, too.

He Said Yes and then She Said Yes

After a very rough few months, it was time for some good news! Two weeks ago, we had a nice young man come to our house and ask to sit down and talk with Alan and I. He came to ask if Alan would give permission for him to ask Bethany to be his wife. (Wow, just to write those words is a little odd still!) After much discussion......many questions.....some requirements...Alan said yes. Alan told Jeff that he was free to ask Bethany.

So, Alan asked Jeff when he was thinking about asking Bethany. Jeff had the ring with him. At first, Jeff was thinking of doing it in the future, maybe sooner, okay, how about right then?? In the end, he went and took Bethany to a local park and pretended that the talk did not go well. Finally, he could not wait any longer and got down on his knee and asked Bethany Alyssa to marry him. SHE SAID YES!!!!

I Did the Easy Thing

Beginning a few weeks ago, Alan began working in Rochester, NY during the weeks. He comes home on the weekends for now. Eventually we will move up with him, but are waiting to see how some things shake down before deciding when that will be. I have been adjusting to not having him here to help me. Lots of times the evenings feel like another work day. I know all of the things I have to do for Davin and I just go through and check things off one by one. Somehow it just makes such a big difference knowing that Alan is not here to give Davin a bath or help me with carrying him. I have done the parenting thing by myself many times before, but I had all of my kids here and even though that caused more chaos, too, they were very helpful to me and their brother, too.

Since Alan has been gone, cooking has not been my strong suit. I have had grilled cheese more times than I can remember and I have also had bread and butter for dinner a couple of times. It just seems that by the time I make Davin's dinner (he doesn't generally eat the same things that I do) and get him fed, bathed, stretched, homework done, etc., I just don't feel like cooking. Not to mention, it is so weird to cook for one or two people.

Bethany is still here, but is generally not home at dinner time. She works evenings at Target and doesn't get home until after midnight now. She has come in and whispered to me asking what we had for dinner and I have had to tell her that I had bread and butter or grilled cheese!

A couple of nights ago, before Awana, I had made a big ceasar salad. No chicken in it. Just salad with bacon (which Bethany doesn't like). It seemed a good idea at the time. We were sitting at the table when Bethany asked me when the last time was that I made dinner. She said it was so discouraging when she would work all night and come home to find that there were no leftovers of any kind. Remember that I have not been cooking at all, so there are not any leftovers at all! I told Bethany to please realize how different things are for me without Dad here. This is the part where I realized I had really dropped the ball.....she reminded me that this had been finals week (which of course, I knew). She had not had a decent meal for all of her finals week. This may not seem horrible at first, until....I thought about what I had done just a couple of weeks before.

Cheney's college had sent home papers telling parents that we could order fruit baskets for our college students. The baskets would be delivered to them the Saturday before finals week and would be an encouragement to them as they begin their finals. This is not something odd for colleges. Bethany's college did the same thing, but I had never been able to afford to do this before this year, so Cheney will be the benefactor of the fruit basket. I was so excited as I was writing the check and sending it off to Wheaton. I imagined how excited Cheney would be and how he would have those snacks in his room while he was studying. I felt badly for the years that I wasn't able to do it for my girls.

However, I did not take advantage of the fact that this year I had the college student living with me and could encourage her myself!!! I had her living right here at home and could have made her meals and made sure she had snacks. What was I thinking? Instead, I was only worried about if Bethany will pass her class that she is nervous about and what it will mean if she doesn't. I dropped the ball. Not my finest moment as a mom. I did the easy thing. I wrote a check and sent it. I didn't take the time to invest in my college student who was right under my nose. In fact, I discouraged her. How disappointing to come home after working a long night and have to make peanut butter and jelly every night.

So, I guess I need to spend more time looking for the harder thing to do. Instead of thinking about how difficult my situation is and focusing on that, I need to look to meeting the needs of others. I do hope the lesson has been learned for me. Thankfully she has one more class to take in January.....

Finally

I finally got some motivation and had a very productive day today. My dear friend Tina, encouraged me that maybe this is a time of rest for me. I can embrace that thought, but it is unfortunate that it happens to coincide with the time that Alan has been without a job. Therefore, every day that I am here just hanging out and reading or watching Little House on the Prairie, Alan is watching me and I am pretty sure he has decided that this is what I have always done. He just wasn't usually home to watch me:) So, today, I finally got up and got lots of stuff done. Dinner was in the crock pot by 10 am, I whipped up a batch of sugar cookies and they are even iced and sprinkled already. We did some cleaning, laundry and all of that good stuff. Davin also got fed two times already. There have been some Saturdays when I suddenly realized that I had forgotten to feed Davin lunch! But, not today:)

Therapy is over now for Davin, so Monday will be the start of a "regular" week. Davin will go back to school and I will go back to work. Also, Alan's job search has been fruitful lately. He has a good potential job and is traveling next Monday to see the new office. It sounds like they would like him to come work for him, if he thinks he can stand doing the job. Alan seems up for the challenge. At this point, it sounds like the job would potentially move our family, but maybe for just one or two years and then we would come back to NJ. For now, our game plan (provided they really do offer the job to Alan) is for Alan to move up to Rochester, NY for approximately 8 weeks and see what he thinks of the office, etc. At that point, we would decide if we would move up there or Alan would just work there for a time and we would stay here. A short-term move (as we have done when the kids were little) is not so easy now. There are many services, etc, to set up for Davin and we will just have to be prayerful about what is best for Davin and for our family. Bethany has decided that even if we move, she will stay here and probably stay with family or stay in our house here. So much to pray about. God just keeps telling me to stay on my knees!

An Encouragement

Davin is in therapy presently. Therapy means driving for an hour each way and then sitting and helping while Davin does three and a half hours of therapy each day. He goes Monday through Friday. This time it is for two weeks. This is our second week. Davin is doing awesome. I think if someone asked me to work out for that long (and it is without a break unless his hands are getting purple or something and we need to give him a couple of minutes;), I would just collapse or certainly whine quite a bit. Davin does it like a trooper. I am always amazed at him. He loves his therapists and we have certainly gotten to know each other over the years that we have spent going to this therapy. God has been so gracious to provide the funds for him to receive this therapy and I am happy to take him.

One of the highlights of our weeks at the Rehab Center is seeing another girl who has CP and her mom. During my almost 17 years now (Yikes!) of having a disabled child, I have not had many friends who also have disabled children. I am not sure why, but I have not. My friends have certainly been a huge support for me and have loved Davin very much. However, getting to spend some time with another mom who deals with the same issues is just a blessing of a different kind. Anyone who has a child can relate to parenting issues, but I have always thought that the world that you walk into when you have a disabled child is just that, a bit of a different world. There are different rules, different timelines and certainly many, many, many more people interested in giving your opinion about how to best take care of your child. That in itself brings a whole different aspect to parenting. If I disagree with the professional (as I presently am on one issue), are they going to report me to Child Protective Services?

It made a good day at therapy just a little bit brighter getting to see this "therapy friend". I love the way the Lord provides what we need just when we need it.

Where Have I Been?

For those of you who have not totally given up on me, thank you. I have not been around. I have not blogged in months, nor have I even checked in for quite a while. This summer has been rough. There have been challenges that have been big. I have been driven to my knees multiple times. I have found that is where God wants me. He wants me reaching for His Word like my life depends on it. He wants constant communication with Him. It is a good place to be. There are still many challenges and they can not be shared in detail on here. I will have to think of another way to share on my blog. Maybe share more about having a child with a disability or maybe share more about the stage of life where your children are leaving the nest. We will see.

I will tell you about one HUGE change in our house. Cheney Alan is at college now. He left in the middle of August and that has been a huge adjustment for everyone. Our house is so quiet, it is hard to take. We find ourselves wondering what in the world to do with our time. Frankly, I sit around a lot. I can not seem to get out of this speed. I used to have so much to do, I rarely had time to take a break. Now it is hard to get motivated because I have such a slow schedule. I am working more and that is good. I know I will get used to the slow schedule and will take on more projects, but probably not today:)

Class of 2009

On Friday night, Cheney Alan Scott walked across the platform and received his high school diploma. It was a big day and a wonderful day. Cheney, we are so proud of you!

Two Kids, 8 Wisdom Teeth and Lots of Ice

This past week has been all about wisdom teeth. Last Wednesday, Cheney had his four wisdom teeth taken out. Bethany followed him five days later and had hers removed yesterday. My couch has been full of one Hester or another with a bag of ice held to one side or the other of their face for almost a week now. I am so thankful that I have a flexible boss and can be home with the kids while they are recovering. Even though they are pretty grown up, I know they appreciate having me nearby to get them new ice or find them something to try to eat.

Happenings at the Hester House

Time is marching on awfully fast lately. In the last month, Cheney has been to South Africa and back, been to Orlando for his senior class trip, gone to his senior formal and Davin has completed three weeks of intensive physical therapy. All of the events were exciting in lots of different ways. Cheney's trip to South Africa seemed incredible. What an experience! He was able to share with some people, bond with a boy at an orphanage, and visit a gaming reservation. Davin's three weeks of PT was amazing! I keep waiting for him to stop progressing since he is older now. This time amazed me and amazed his therapists. It is hard to describe it to you because he did not start walking or talking or anything like that, but my boy was putting different things that he has learned to do over the years together. He was deciding to do things without being asked to do them I(and let's face it, sometimes begging...). Davin was keeping himself in a hands and knees position and then keeping his balance to stand up on his knees. Wow! Davin really didn't have balance just a few years ago. He is pretty awesome. I think Davin has a different work ethic now that he is older and that has helped him, too. We are no longer begging him with games, etc, but he is just doing what he needs to do. Cheney's formal was very exciting, too. Davin made the final decision concerning Cheney's tux and it was fun to help him get ready to go.

Okay, the big news coming up is that Cheney has decided where he is going to college!!!!!!!! I can not tell you what a struggle this has been. Should he go far, should he stay, and on and on. We were waiting on the financial info for one more school (his top choice) and when that finally came back after quite a bit of time, it seemed clear what God had for Cheney for the fall. The sad part is that in August, we will be driving our son to Illinois and dropping him off. He will be attending Wheaton College. The good news is that Bethany has moved back home and will be living here from now on since she will be doing her four day placement next semester and it is local. So, I am trading one for one!

The other big news in our house is that my Bethany is bringing home a boy for us to meet on Thursday night. Okay, I guess you have to call someone who is 25 a man:) Anyway, Bethany has not been one to date. She has always known what she is looking for and was pretty quick to rule a guy out. It seems that this guy is a bit different and it has been fun to hear her talk about him. Since she has never been boy-crazy as a teenager and has waited so patiently, we have never heard her talk about someone like this. Fun stuff. Of course, Alan is waiting to see what he thinks when he meets him. He also let Bethany know that if he doesn't approve, the deal is off. You have to love having a Dad who cares:)

As we go through all of these exciting things, I am reminded of two families who have had their lives turned upside down. I continue to pray for Brett and Paige and all they have before them.

Mom, can you?.......

My kids have often times called me and asked, "Mom, can you.....?". Lots of times it involved making some kind of food for something at school. Today Cheney called me after school and asked if I could make tacos for his Spanish IV class for tomorrow. My mind started running. Would chips and salsa be what he had in mind? I considered sending that with him and he wouldn't have complained, but instead thought through what I had in my house and came up with most of the fixings for chicken quesadillas. (Sorry, I am pretty sure I am spelling that wrong.) I had Cheney call a couple friends to see if they could fill in the empty spots for me. We got our part done and it's all packed up and ready to go for tomorrow.

Every time I do something for Cheney this year with school, I think about how his school years are almost over. I am so thankful for every time that my kids called and asked, "Mom, can you....?" I'm glad they knew I would do it. I'm glad they knew they could feel free to ask me. I will truly miss those phone calls or questions after school. Davin can not ask me and in his classrooms, there are usually so many adults, they do all of the stuff like that.

South Africa

Okay, I must have had something wrong when I typed the blog address last time. The team has arrived safe and sound and will keep us updated through the blog. Here is the address:) http://tkcssa09.blogspot.com Please let me know if that doesn't work. And, yes, Martha, wouldn't it be cool if Chey and Nate one day met up on the mission field?

This has been a super busy week with getting Cheney ready, having the Awana Grand Prix, having a Duffers for Davin meeting, and trying to get some work done, too. Now Bethany is home for Easter weekend and we are with just our blond kids. Since they are our pretty quiet ones, it is pretty quiet around here. The only time it gets kind of loud is when Bethany makes Davin mad and he screams at her. You all know Davin is non-verbal and he is pretty easy-going for the most part. However, lately, there are a couple of things that Bethany does, that make him scream and I mean SCREAM! The first thing is if she takes his yogurt. I will get out two yogurts for him and while I was feeding him his first one, Bethany wanted to take the other one and have some. Davin was not going for that. Bethany did not think he should be so greedy, but in all fairness, she had tacos and he knows he can not eat those. He only had those two yogurts. I might be a little stingy about that, too. Yesterday, Davin brought home a big bag of candy that his bus driver gave him. Well, Bethany decided to get into that just to get a reaction and it worked. Davin screamed again, although I don't think he was as angry as the whole yogurt thing. Besides, he can share his candy. Different thing altogether. It is funny to see him figure out new ways to get his point across and I think it's very smart of him.

What Have I Been Up To?

Cheney's senior year is flying by! Tomorrow morning he leaves with his choir for a competition in Washington, D.C. Then, on Wednesday, he heads to South Africa with a team from his school. They are going on a missions trip and I am so excited for him to have this opportunity. He will be gone until the 20th. Our house will be quiet, but my prayeris that Cheney's life will be forever changed by this trip. I think getting so far out of your comfort zone and putting your faith into practical practice can do a great work in your life. I am excited for him to go and excited for him to be able to come home and hear all that he has experienced. If you want to follow their trip, you can go to tkcssa.blogspot.com. Cheney worked hard on the website, so check it out.

I know the next few days will be busy as we prepare for him to leave. I see one more Target run in our future to get the few last items on our list. Then, the rest is out of my hands, but I guess it always was anyway.

Heavy Week

I have been so amazed by a couple of my friends particularly this week. I have watched two friends walk through trials that are beyond difficult..beyond painful...trials that there are not words to describe. Yet in the midst of these two trials, I have watched two women who love God cling to their Savior in the midst of the toughest of storms. I have been so ministered to by them in the midst of their trials. Amazing. They are amazing women, but I think they would both say that they serve an amazing God. He has given them strength that I just don't think is humanly possible. It has been my honor to pray for these two dear friends and their precious children.

"Empty Nest", he says....

Cheney and Alan are out in Wheaton, IL looking at Wheaton College. Cheney has ditched his Dad tonight to stay in one of the dorms. We both agree this is a good thing for Cheney and if Alan didn't feel good about it, he would not have left him there. So, Alan had dropped Cheney off and was driving back to the hotel alone and we were talking on the phone. Alan told me that dropping him off there is kind of the start of an empty nest for him. I asked why and he explained that Cheney going to college will really mark the end of part of our life. HELLO!!!!! Is that not what I had been saying and coming to terms with for the last several or many months???? What a funny guy he is. I guess he just needed to realize that on his own while spending the weekend with his boy who working towards being all the way grown. Big Sigh!!

God has given me such peace about Cheney and Alan doing this college visit together. I don't miss much in my kids' lives and when I do it is usually kicking and screaming. Now through in there that it is his birthday and I wondered how I was going to make it. But, God is good and this is the weekend it was supposed to be. God gave Alan and Cheney the chance to do this together and even set up all kinds of details that show we have a God who cares about the smallest details.

Happy Birthday Cheney Boy!

Today is Cheney Alan's 18th birthday! Wow, how in the world did we get all the way to here? Anyway, instead of him being home and us having a family dinner together, he and Alan are away in Wheaton, IL visiting Wheaton College. Selfishly, I would rather have him here with me. In the beginning stages of planning the trip, Davin and I were going along, too. As things worked out, just Alan and Cheney ended up going and will have a father-son weekend until Sunday. In spite of my selfishness, I can see that this is a great opportunity for the two of them to spend time together. Happy Birthday Cheney. I miss you and love you!

Cheney has grown so much and it truly is amazing to look way up into the eyes of this boy who once looked up into mine. I am really proud of the man that he has turned into. I don't think there was ever a time in Cheney's life where he was not happy and proud to be told how much like his Dad he was. I have always thought his Dad was a pretty good person for Cheney to want to be like. You all know I have gushed before over what an incredible brother Cheney is to Davin. They are so adorable to watch. I know that Cheney still has growing to do, as we all do. I can't wait to see what God has in store for him.

Cheney is on the left in the above photo. Standing next to him are two of Martha's boys - Josiah and Nathan. Aren't they adorable?

Talking and Listening

I love talking with my kids. They are pretty much adults now and our conversations are much different than they used to be. This past week has given us quite a few opportunities to talk about some really serious topics. It was so interesting to listen to their views and discuss things. Sometimes their views are not the same as mine, but I have really appreciated listening to how they came to their conclusions and where God has brought them. They are thinking, they are learning, they are growing. I sure do miss those early days of conversations, but I really am appreciating the conversations that we can share now.

So Blessed

I was fixing (that is from you, Tina) to write a comment on my last post, but realized I would rather write another entry instead.

Thank you to my friends who commented already on my last post. For all of Davin's life, I have realized that I am being watched. Not by the CIA, well, at least I hope not. But, by other people. All the time. I bet Sherri can relate to this. I bet Kelli can relate, too. We have children who are different. People can tell they are different by looking at them and so they watch us. They may not know someone with a serious disability and the way they learn about them is by watching me in the grocery store with my son. They watch me talk to him. They watch me pull his wheelchair from the side, so I am not walking behind him, but beside him. They watch how I explain things to him, although they may not think he can understand. I am constantly aware that I am an advocate for people with disabilities even though I have never signed up to be.

With each of my children came different challenges and I was ready and prepared to meet each one of them. My challenges with Davin are a bit different. That involves responding to people's looks and questions. I don't always like this part of my job, but it is part of my job. Like it or not. My hope is that when people watch me or one of my family members with Davin, they don't see a lack of anything. They see an abundance of many things. They don't see a chair. They see a boy. They see a huge personality and someone who likes to get into some trouble;)

That is why yesterday's post was so difficult for me. I don't always want people to see the harder side of my life. I don't want anyone to think that having Davin was less of a thrill than having their child who is "normal". (I REALLY hate that wording) I want them to know that Davin has so much to offer and that it is my privilege to care for him. I guess with Davin, I have to work a bit harder to have people see that sometimes, so I try not to complain and talk about the bad side as much.

However, there are hard things about having a child who is non-ambulatory. I don't like to admit it, but it is true. Maybe it is good to talk about it sometimes, especially with the people in my life that already see Davin for who he is. I didn't have to convince any of you:)

Hard Times

There are times in a person's life where things go smoothly. There are also times in a person's life when things just seem hard. I am in a bit of a hard time right now. Maybe that explains my "lack of blogging" lately. Just not too much to share and yet lots and lots to think about. I have a couple of close friends going through some very difficult things. My heart is very heavy for them and God brings them to my mind often so I can pray for them. One of those situations also affects my family and that has weighed heavy on all of us.

I am also feeling a physical burden that I have never faced before. Well, maybe I have, but was slow to admit it. You all know that I am the caretaker (and quite glad to be) of my 16 year-old son Davin. He has brought my life so much joy in these last 16 years, I can not even explain it. Many of you know him and you know that he is a special boy (almost man, I guess?). For all of these years, I have been able to take Davin wherever I went. If I needed milk and bread, I just plopped him in the carseat and went to the store. I whipped the wheelchair out of the car and off we went. Davin went everywhere. I was very capable of giving him his baths and taking total care of him. I like being self-sufficient and I have always liked it this way.

Well, Davin doesn't weigh 20 pounds anymore (thankfully) and his wheelchair is so heavy that every time I put it in the back of my Jeep, I am amazed that it got in there. I am choosing (I can hardly even believe it myself) to not take Davin anywhere I don't need him to go to. Even as I write this, tears come to my eyes. At the end of the day, my body aches. I pick Davin up to put him in his chair, I carry him to his bed, I carry him out to the car....I get tired. I know that Davin has grown a lot in the last couple of years and that has made it difficult for my body to keep up with his growing one. I will catch up once he is not growing as much and I will get used to the weight again, but things won't be the same.

I made a choice when Davin was diagnosed. I chose for his life to be regular. I chose for our family to be regular. I think we have done a good job at that. Most people might not even know that I am struggling. I want Davin to go to the store and everywhere that he wants to go. (He LOVES to go with us everywhere!) I have also made the choice that God gave Davin to me and Alan to care for. We will keep him at our home for the rest of our lives. I know that is not everyone's decision, but it is mine. So, I need to adjust some things. I need to make my body last so that I can take the best care of Davin possible.

This does not overwhelm me everyday, but some days it does. One thing that is changing for us is that Cheney is going to college next year. I can not tell you how much of a help my older kids are to their youngest brother. Not because I ask them, but because they love him and they want him to be with them, too. Next year, I will bear the responsibility of Davin's physical needs alone for the most part. Alan will be here, but he has a pretty demanding job now and is not home until later in the evenings.

I know that this is a difficult transition. I will catch up to Davin's new size and weight. God will continue to sustain me and to sustain Davin even when the other kids are not here to help.

A Nice Day

Today our senior high youth group had a service project and a Christmas party. We had to be to church by 8am and I was NOT happy about that this morning. I was whining and complaining the whole time I was getting ready. It turned out to be a great day, though. During the school year, I don't work with the teens on Wednesday night youth group. I work with the Awana Sparkies. (which you all know I love) Sometimes I forget how much I enjoy being with the teens. I go to Sunday School with them and activities, but the activities are the times where I really get to connect with the kids and get to know them better. They are an encouragement to me. Today we went to help out with an inner city program that reaches out to a very difficult area. I believe that this city is rated one of the worst in the country. The kids were adorable and the gospel was shared. It was so interesting to listen to and see the way that they ran the program. I was blessed by going and hope that we will be able to continue helping this ministry out in the future. Cheney left feeling that the ministry was a very worthwhile thing and I really appreciate my sons being able to participate in something like that. All in all, it was a great day, even if I did have to get up early on a Saturday morning.

Thank You Lord

Last Wednesday, we were all getting ready to go to Awana. It was a big night for Ashleigh and Bethany. The T&T club was going to a nursing home. We had never done a trip like that with the clubbers before. Bethany, and her two friends, Rachael and Kelly, headed out to get there early as the T&Ters were leaving early. I got my things together and the rest of us prepared to leave. As I was heading out the door to begin loading up my Jeep, I got a call from Bethany. She had been in an accident. They were all okay, although she thought both cars were totaled, but the other man was trapped in his car. That's all I knew. I told her I would be right there and Alan and I decided that we would head over to the accident to be with the girls and Cheney would drive himself, his brother and a friend to church. As we were leaving, I handed Cheney my story for Sparks and explained really quickly what he would need to do to run my club.

We headed out and soon came upon the accident scene. There were firetrucks, ambulances, and police cars. Bethany's car was facing the opposite direction and parked on the other side of the road from the car that hit her. After being directed across the street by a fireman (and being told repeatedly by my husband that I needed to "calm down") we found that the girls were all sitting inside one of the ambulances. The older man was still stuck in his car. Much to my pleasant surprise, the ambulance door opened and I saw our friend who happens to be a state trooper sitting with the girls taking their statements. What an extra blessing for some girls who were pretty shaken up to see a friendly face.

We decided that we would take the girls to the hospital to make sure they were okay. Bethany was holding her arm funny and we thought it could be broken. The other girls were stiff and sore and Rachael might have hit her head. The emergency room was a mixture of concern, relief, more relief and a fuller realization of what the girls had been through.

The girls had been stopped in traffic waiting to go through a circle (it's this weird thing that they have in NJ). Without any warning to them, a car slammed into the back of them. We don't have the police report, yet, but the girls do not feel like the man was braking and we know the speed limit there is 50 mph. Somehow Bethany's car did not hit a car in front of her, but flew into the other lane of traffic and at one point was nearly on its side. Bethany tried to control the car with all her might and was able to make some quick decisions as far as hitting a telephone pole v. running over a mailbox and stop sign. There was one point where they were sure their lives were over. They were once again in the other lane of traffic and a car was coming right for Bethany's side of the car. Somehow the car managed to stop before hitting them.

All in all, we had some really sore girls (no broken arm) that we had to send back to PBU to complete their week of finals. However, I will take that any day over what could have happened. God was so gracious to us and kept our girls with us. God blessed me to be able to get the call from Bethany herself so I would know she was okay. He had our state trooper friend on duty and on the scene. God kept other people from being hit and gave Bethany the presence of mind to think things through in a very stressful situation.

It was also a blessing to see all of my kids jump in to help each other out. Cheney taught my story, ran game time at Awana for my club and did it beautifully. Ashleigh and Kevin came home with Cheney and Davin which let Cheney not be in charge anymore and be able to relax a bit. Two other friends of Bethany's waited until we got home from the hospital and took her back to school. We were able to finish the night by praying together and thanking God for the incredible mercy He showed to us on that night.

Thank you, Father. We never know what a day will bring. Thank you for your protection that you granted to all who were on the road that night.

Tagged, but this time not embarrassed...

I was tagged by my friend Kelli. Thank you Kelli!

8 Shows I Watch:

(I really don't watch much t.v., mostly DVDs, so I will try:)
1. The Office
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Jon & Kate Plus 8 (If Alan is not home:)
4. The Amazing Race
5. Little People, Big World
6. Good Morning America (I left The Today Show after they were so offensive a few months ago)
7. That's all I can think of.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. laundry
2. kept Davin home from school since he was still sick
3. did nebulizer treatments for Davin
4. took the dogs out
5. made a blueberry pie for Alan to take to work
6. ate pizza with my extended family for official "pizza night"
7. talked to my long lost friend on the phone
8. worked at Three Nails Construction

8 Places I Like to Eat:

1. Bertuccis
2. Five Guys Burgers and Fries
3. Panera Bread
4. Friendlys
5. Outback Steakhouse
6. Pirones
7. TGI Fridays
8. Fuddruckers

8 Things I Look Forward To:

1. All my kids being together
2. Adding to our family hopefully someday
3. Having an addition put on our house
4. Heaven (Davin will be able to walk all by himself!)
5. Vacation
6. Awana
7. Evenings with Alan
8. Seeing my children serve the Lord

8 Things on My Wish List:

1. A kidney for Kyler
2. Davin to swallow all the time
3. A wheelchair van (I think, although I am really dragging my feet, so am I really ready???)
4. Dinners where I only feed myself:)
5. Hardwood floors
6. Countertops
7. Three Nails to thrive
8. Davin to read (and us to know that he reads;)

I won't tag anyone else, but this was a fun list, so maybe you should try it.

For a Season

Our family has moved many, many times over the years. I believe we are living in our 14th location presently. Some were local moves, but many of them were not. At each stop of our lives, God has blessed me with some amazing friends. It has been sad to leave each place, but I could always look back and see how God provided just what I needed for that time in my life. Just yesterday, I reconnected with my very best friend of my late teens and early twenties. We met when our husbands were both in the Navy and we were living in Navy housing in Saratoga Springs. We each had one very young child and I was pregnant with my second. One day we sat on the playground and watched our children play. I told her of my "plan" for having children. I was going to have four. I would have my third when Ashleigh went to kindergarten and my fourth when the new baby went to kindergarten. She said she hadn't thought about it, but thought that sounded like a good plan. We both did just that. It was so much fun to talk to her on the phone and catch up with our now grown and nearly grown children. God had us to be friends at a time when we were without our husbands a great deal of time. We relied so much on each other and we also grew so much in our faith with our Savior at that time. When we moved to different locations, we parted with many tears and much sadness. Through the years we had kept in touch here and there, but just recently reconnected and what a pleasant surprise. God really does provide just the friend that I need, just when I need them. We are at such similar stages in life and have so much to share.

So Much to Think About

Yesterday my husband and my boys and I were blessed to be able to go to Washington D.C.'s Holocaust Museum. What a journey it takes you on. Two of my children have researched this subject extensively in school, but I do not remember learning much about it while I was in school. While my children were learning about it, they shared a lot of things with me, though.

It really made me think about a lot of things. Adolf Hitler never pretended to be someone he was not. From the very beginning, he told everyone what he stood for and what his intentions were. He was clear as could be. His reign did not happen over night. It was gradual and the whole world watched it happen.

I looked at so many pictures of people. People who were certainly just like me and just like you. They had hopes and dreams for their families. They had so much to offer the world. Where in the world did anyone get the idea that they did not deserve to live and were less worthy than someone else. They often times didn't know what they were about to face. I read about the different policy changes that went into effect. Little by little, rights were taken away from entire groups of people. There are so many sad aspects to this that it is hard to wrap my head around it. It certainly gives me much to think about. I don't want to forget what I learned and what I saw.

This Birthday Boy

Happy 16th birthday, Davin Boy! I can not even believe it has been sixteen years since you entered my world!!

I was going to share some of my story of Davin's life and the struggles we have gone through together, but I think that is better left for another day. Today is his big 16th birthday and I am celebrating Davin today!!! I will share 16 things about Davin.

1. Davin has very flirty blue eyes.(He knows how to use them. I can remember when he was as young as 7 months old and he was batting his eyes at someone:)

2. Davin is the baby in our family and we do not let him forget that. Okay, well, I don't, anyway.

3. Davin has a wheelchair that is black and has sparkles in the paint.

4. Davin is in grade 9-2. He gets to stay in each high school grade for two years if we want him to. I don't see any reason not to.

5. Davin has a great sense of humor.

6. Davin sleeps with our puppy Rocky every night. Rocky sleeps right on his legs, but it doesn't seem to bother him.

7. When Davin was born, they immediately said that he looked just like his Daddy.

8. Davin adores his Daddy and his brother Cheney and wants to be just like them.

9. He also adores his sisters Ashleigh and Bethany and they have always taken excellent care of him.

10. He has a one-on-one aide at school and I have always thought he feels badly for the kids who don't have one. Maybe they are just not special enough or cute enough???? (I think that is what he may be thinking)

11. Davin has been flipped upside down in his wheelchair at least three times. Once on a playground, once in a ditch and once on the Awana circle.

12. He models patience for me constantly.

13. Davin is very social and loves to be around the action. You can not do anything without him knowing it, because he is always watching.

14. Davin LOVES to eat and he really LOVES to eat sweets!

15. Davin rides a yellow bus to school and he much prefers that over his mother taking him.

16. I am not sure what my life would look like without this boy. He has changed who I am in so many ways and I have learned so much from growing with him.

It's going to be a great day!

Cheney had some to add even though it makes more than 16:)

17. Davin LOVES to be naked. He also likes me to make a big deal about how he is naked and I don't want any naked boys in my living room.

18. Every day is his birthday. Whenever anyone is singing happy birthday, Davin is grinning from ear to ear like it is for him.

19. Most every day is the "best day of Davin's life" AGAIN!!

Good job, Cheney. You know your brother well.

Singing and Dancing

Today I was blessed to have both of my girls at home for the whole afternoon. We had such a good time together and Davin certainly found it much more entertaining than when it is just the two of us after school. We played lots and lots of music that we had listened to so many times while the girls were growing up and of course, we had to do some "living room dancing". That was a favorite past time for many years and still is. I really have some great moves:)

Tagged

I was tagged, but not in the normal "blogging" sense of the word. You see, the other day, my sister and I made plans to meet for lunch. I put on a new outfit and was feeling pretty good. I headed into work to get a few things done before going to meet her. I walked into the restaurant and sat at a table and waited for my sister. We had a very nice lunch and then headed out to our cars. It was at that point, that my sister (so lovingly and with hardly any laughing at all) took two HUGE stickers off of the back of my new pants. Of course, I really just wanted everyone to know I had on a new pair of pants AND what size they were:) My sister could barely keep herself together, she was laughing so hard. I realized I would never again be able to eat there and it also explained why the man in the restaurant had been staring at me. So, off I went to the grocery store to pick up a couple things I needed. I picked my purse up when I got to the register (realizing that no one in the store had seen my earlier spectacle) and saw that the two huge stickers were stuck to the outside of my purse that I had been carrying around on my shoulder. Naturally, I hurried to my car and called my sister to tell her this news that would give her an even bigger boost to her day and make her feel pretty good about how she was doing today:)

Report from Dr. Herman

Davin saw Dr. Herman today. Dr. Herman is his ortho surgeon who did his surgery a year ago. He said Davin's x-rays look great! His other hip is still fine and it couldn't be better. He said we have done a great job:) (Love that) The only thing we need to think about is whether we will take out the hardware in Davin's hip. It is a rather large piece of hardware and it is very visible from the outside of his hip. Dr. Herman usually removes it when a person is as thin as Davin is. To remove the hardware would require the same surgery basically, minus sawing the bone. Yikes! I didn't realize that. I believe he would be casted again as well as he wouldn't be able to move it for 4-6 weeks. So, we will wait and see how things are in 6 months.

1 Year Ago

Yesterday was one year ago since Davin's hip surgery. The date is so etched in my mind since there were so many things to do to prepare before the big surgery date between the surgery itself and the upcoming wedding. When I think back to last year and all that Davin went through, I am so thankful for God's grace through that trial and I am thankful that He chose to answer "yes" when I asked that He restore Davin to what he was prior to surgery (meaning no feeding tube, or c-pap machine, etc.) God did!

Tomorrow we go see Dr. Herman, the doctor who did Davin's surgery. Davin LOVES Dr. Herman and I must say, I like him a whole lot, too. He was the only person in the hospital who knew who Davin really was. He would come in everyday and try to encourage me and make sure Davin was doing alright (even though none of his issues were ortho-related).

Thinking back to last year, also reminded me what a surprise support system my blogger friends have been. I have known many of you for over a year now and you prayed with me and with my son through that trial.

Praise God that in August, Davin's therapist reported that he was back to what he was physically prior to surgery. Davin didn't eat real food for about 6 months after his surgery, but last night, he tried to out-eat his father and brother.

Now I have the opportunity to pray for Dennis and for Kyler as they face medical issues. It is such a privilege to be able to support other mothers in the same way I was supported.

Now More Details

So, last night, I wanted to let you know the big news! This morning, I thought I would share some more details. None of us thought that "B" would understand enough in just two weeks to make a commitment to Christ. It went through our minds, but seemed like he just had too far to jump. Let me back up and tell you the background.

Last week, on the way to NJ, Bethany and "B" were talking. He was not sure he was going to like Awana, especially the part where you had to learn verses. He asked Bethany if he could just bring his homework in and work on that while others learned their verses. He said that he just really didn't like the Bible. (That was just a week ago!!!!!) Anyway, Bethany said that was fine and put no pressure on him. He does not have much of a church background at all.

So, last week, I wrote how super excited he was and how much he shared with Bethany. This week, (they both come home to our house and have dinner with us and play rock band:) he came ready to pass his section. As he was working through the handbook time he ended up with a question. He told Bethany that he was looking and looking for the answer about how to have faith, but he couldn't find the answer. It was time for counsel time, but Bethany shared with her Dad that B had a question about faith.

Alan and B ended up going to talk. Alan didn't think there was any way that B would understand everything, but as he was talking to him, felt led to explain further and further. Alan told me at the end of the night that B had gotten saved, but I didn't hear the whole story until Bethany relayed it to me through the words that B had told her. He explained to Bethany that man had fallen because of sin and that the punishment for sin is DEATH! He then told Bethany not to worry because Jesus paid the penalty for that sin on the cross and that if he believed that, he could live with him in heaven forever. He then told Bethany, "I believe it. All of it!"

Bethany shared that the most exciting thing about heaven for her is that Davin will be able to do what all of us can do. He will be able to walk and talk. Well, B has a brother who has "problems", too. He said, "Do you mean that when we get to heaven, my brother won't have problems anymore?" (Oh, this is really getting me choked up...) Bethany said that it is true if his brother believes in Jesus as his savior, too. So, B is going to make sure he shares everything with his brother. When they got home, his brother was asleep, though, so maybe today:)

Wow!

"B" asked Jesus to be his Lord and Savior tonight. I stand in awe of an awesome God. Enough said.

Strolling Down Memory Lane...

Christine tagged all who read her blog and I have really enjoyed reading her trip down memory lane as well as Rachel's. So, here is mine. Let's see....

23 years ago, I was 18 years-old and a brand new Mommy. Alan had just left (maybe yesterday) to go back to Great Lakes, IL where he was stationed in the Navy. I would be moving out with him as soon as I went in for my six week check-up. I was totally nervous about moving away from my Mom. I was also totally in love with being a mom. I loved everything about it and knew right away that was my "thing". That was to be my career.

19 years ago, I was 22, and I had two little girls who were 2 and 4 years-old and we were living in Virginia Beach, VA. We were counting down the trash days until Daddy came home from the ship "far, far away" as Bethany would say. Alan was on a Med-cruise and had been gone since May. His return date was in November and we counted trash days because the trash came once a week. It seemed less depressing than counting each day. We missed him terribly and although it was one of the hardest things ever, I learned so much and grew so much. I remember trying to find at least one thing to do each day that was outside of the house so the days would not seem too long. We watched the "Daddy tape" that we made of Alan and the girls before he left just about every day. I sat down and wrote to Alan every day of the Med-cruise except for five. I LIVED for the mail man to come. There was no email back in the olden days:)

15 years ago, I was 26, I think, and learning to deal with the reality of my son being diagnosed with cerebral palsy. We had just finished doing a bunch of tests through the summer. What a devestating time for me. I felt so responsible for him being injured. I had the most amazing pediatrician who was such a cheerleader for me. I was dealing with therapists coming into my home and it seemed like I was being crushed by new things all the time. It wasn't until that December that I really let myself start to grieve.

13 years ago we had just moved to Ontario, NY and were looking for a new church. God was so amazing and so clear in his leading. It is a long story, but God lead us to an incredible group of people who would support me through many things. Of all the places we ever lived (and there have been many) that is our home. This was also the time of year when our oldest turned double digits. I spent my days taking care of my house and taking care of my boys while my girls were at school. The kids and I would "living room dance" lots of nights while we waited for Daddy to come home. It was a wonderful time in my life.

5 years ago, I had an unhappy daughter at Word of Life Bible Institute. Although she now realizes how much she learned there, it was a tough time in her life. Therefore, it was tough in my life. God also lead us to NJ to be near to our families. My Dad had just had a traumatic brain injury in March and I had been traveling back and forth alot. I did not know what kind of care he would continue to need, but I knew it would be hard if it all fell on my Mom and sister. I am so thankful for the opportunities that God has given me to be with my Dad (and the rest of our families, too).

Today I got a call that a certain husband had forgotten the cord to his laptop, so I ran that over to him. From there, I went to work and then had a dentist appointment. No cavities!!! I stopped at the pediatrician to pick up a form, stopped by the job site to have some checks signed, went to the bank and back to work for a few minutes to drop off another check. I got lunch, came home and waited for Davin. Davin and I made cookies and I threw in some laundry. I fed Davin, went to pick up Cheney from soccer practice and then took him to look for some cord thing for his cell phone. Dropped the boys off at home (dinner was in the oven) and headed over for a youth group dinner with the girls. I came home, did a bit more laundry, found Cheney's soccer shorts that he was sure I lost and did the ironing for tomorrow.

First Night, Great Start

Last night was our first night of Awana for the new club year! I am crazy busy on Awana days and especially yesterday. I was very excited for last night, but I really had not thought through the details of the night. With the help of many others, everything ran very smoothly, I think and we had a great time. I love teaching K-2. They soak up so much of what you are telling them and generally they are pretty willing to go with anything you are doing at the moment.

The most exciting thing of the night came later when Bethany called me to tell me about her night. Both of my girls (and Kevin:) work in Awana, but they work with the older kids. Last night Bethany had been able to bring the boy (B) that she nannies for. He is in 4th grade.

On the way to our house last night, B asked if he would have to learn Bible verses since he didn't like the Bible very much. Bethany told him that he didn't have to, but if he did he would earn points for his team. (He is very competative) So, after club, he could not stop talking about the night. One of his leaders had given him a Bible (which he previously had not liked very much) and he was going to read it! He was so excited that he had his own. He also was working on learning a verse on the way home. He told Bethany that he was struggling with the one verse and Bethany recited it for him. He was shocked that she knew it! Bethany explained that she had gone to Awana and learned the verses. By the end of the car ride, B had learned two verses, so he will be able to pass them next week. Bethany was beyond excitement when I talked to her! To think that B could give his heart to the Lord this year... wow! Bethany didn't even really dream of this. To top things off, B's Mom PAID Bethany (which gave her gas money since she drives for at least an hour one way to Awana). Bethany also told me that even though the Mom is not very "religious" as she puts it, she sees that Bethany is different. She said that she knows there are not many young people Bethany's age that live the way she does. What an encouragement to Bethany! People are always watching our lives. This Mom is thinking that when her boys are Bethany's age, she would like them to be the same way, so she sees value in sending her boys to Awana now.

Wow! Bethany wasn't sure she would even be able to sleep. This was just a job for her in the beginning and now she was able to really minister to B. You never know what God is going to use.

What a great start! I can't wait to see what God has in store for this year:

And The Answers Are......

Such suspense, I know. The funniest thing about my list of "who did it", was that even my girls were not quite sure they knew all of them. It took Ashleigh quite a while to figure out who in the world was expelled from school for three months!

1. Cheney Alan (my climber) scaled down the outside of our house. He tied a rope across the hallway on his sister's door knob and then strung it across his room and out his window. I thought he was upstairs playing, so I was very surprised when my five-year-old walked in the front door with a huge grin on his face. He was very proud! (He's still pretty proud of that story, actually)

2. Ashleigh broke the glass out of our front door while pounding on it so that I would let her in. She had run out of the house in anger, so I decided to lock the door and not let her decide when she was coming and going. Needless to say, she was a bit angry and started banging on the door. She was shocked when it broke and VERY remorseful.

3. Cheney ate the middle of a cherry pie and somehow questioned the rest of us as to who ate the crust? Like it was his personal pie or something!

4. Bethany cut her thumb with a small axe while we were away visiting friends. She came running in holding her thumb and screaming. I was afraid it was cut off and hated to look. Alan decided that we did not need to go to the ER and could just use butterfly band-aids to fix it up. The next day we went to our peditrician (since we were home now) and he said it should have had stitches. Immediately tears were in my eyes. My pediatrician (he was soooo awesome and knew me so well) was not even facing me, so he did not know I was close to tears and without turning around, said very sternly, "Listen, this is not a big deal. This is her thumb, not her face. We would have stitched it yesterday, but you don't need to worry about this. He had been through all of Davin's tests and diagnosis with us and he was such a big supporter.

5. Davin boy was kicked out of school. It is a BIG long story that I probably could have pursued legally, but in the end he was kicked out of school for feeding issues. The school just neglected to tell me. So, on the first day of school, Davin got ready and sat in his wheelchair looking out the sliding glass door. So, he waited and waited and waited. For hours, we waited and finally called to see where the bus was. School, even then was not forth coming as to why Davin was not enrolled in school. Really long story, really touchy subject for me. Can you tell? Anyway, when people would see Davin out with me, they would ask about school and I would tell them that he was kicked out. Davin would smile really, really big! He loved it. Then, people would look at this sweet-looking little boy in a wheelchair and ask, "What did he do?????". It was funny.

6. Ashleigh had the stalker. (Nan, I think you are thinking of a different stalker person:) I won't go into this much, but eventually this boy made a threat to kill someone and I had to go to school and remove Ashleigh from the school, call the person who was threatened and have him taken out of school, and eventually involve the police. Tough day.

7. Bethany Alyssa lied about eating the brownies. This is a famous story in our house. We told the kids that we were going to punish everyone until the person who did it came clean. She did not come clean. Cheney eventally took the blame for it. (He confessed, but was lying because he really didn't do it) About three months later, Cheney came clean that he had lied to cover for Bethany.

8. Cheney had tubes put in his ears when he was just 10 months old. That is the youngest any of my children have had surgery.

9. Bethany shaved her legs when she was just a little toddler and shaved huge chunks of skin off her leg. She has a scar to this day because of that. She really was made of steel, that girl.
10. Davin was tied to the bed his first morning after sleeping in his big boy bed. Cheney had a little bat man rope thing and was pretending to tie Davin up in between the bed and the ladder. I guess Davin was having fun until Cheney left him there and went to do something else. Davin was crying and when I went in there was this little itty bitty rope and Davin was wedged in between the bed and ladder.

Happy Birthday Ashleigh Diane!!

23 years ago, my Mom and I were in a labor room. She was my labor coach. Alan was away in Great Lakes, IL in the Navy and was waiting for the Navy to give him clearance to come home to be with me. We were hoping he would make it before she was born. Nope! My Mom and I got to welcome little Ashleigh Diane into the world. I was 18 years old and didn't really know what to expect. I thought babies were born chubby, so I was very surprised that she was skinny:) Things are very fuzzy about those first hours. I remember having her and the pediatrician being called in for the delivery because there might be a problem. My Mom watched as the doctor skillfully and calmly removed the cord that was wrapped around Ashleigh's neck. Alan did not arrive until a little after midnight. I had already been asleep and he came in (in his dress whites, I believe) and then headed over to see his new daughter. For some reason I will never understand, I did not go with him. What was I thinking? Maybe he needed time with her. Maybe I just was too tired to be thinking clearly. I waited and waited and waited for what seemed like forever for him to get back. I thought he would be anxious to get back to see me, but what I didn't realize quite yet was that there was another blue-eyed girl in his life now. Another love. Alan walked into the nursery and literally fell in love with Ashleigh. I think he had a hard time leaving her to come back to my room. That love has lasted and never wavered.

So, Ashleigh, (because though you never comment, I know you read this:) you are not so little anymore. I sure am thankful that 23 years ago today, you came into my world and pretty much became my world. You have added so much laughter to our lives. You have added some (just a little bit) of drama, as well. I think my life would have been pretty boring without you. Now that you are an adult, I am learning things from you, as well. I hope today is a great day for you (your first as a married woman) and I will see you for your birthday dinner. I am going to start working on it now:)

*By the way, the kids always get to pick what they want for their birthday dinner. Ashleigh's menu is as follows:

baked ziti with sausage
garlic bread
salad
banana cream pie (with chocolate in it)
brownies (for her husband)

Who Was It?

You all know I have four children and they are a bit older now. Over the course of their childhoods, they did some interesting things. I am wondering if you can guess who did it?

1. Who, at 5 years-old, scaled down our two-and-a-half story home on a rope and then headed inside the front door to announce what he/she had done with a huge smile?

2. Who broke our glass in the front door by pounding his/her fist on it?

3. Who ate the entire middle out of a cherry pie at 3 years-old and then was upset that someone else ate the crust?

4. Who cut their own thumb with an axe when he/she was about 8?

5. Who was expelled from school for three months?

6. Who had a stalker and at one point, I had to call the police?

7. Who lied about eating the brownies without permission even though his/her other siblings all had to take punishment until the truth was told?

8. Who had surgery at the youngest age?

9. Who shaved his/her legs when they were 2 and shaved the skin right off of the leg? (This still gives me the willies)

10. Who was left tied up to the bed by another sibling on their first night in their "big" bed?

So, was it Ashleigh, Bethany, Cheney, or Davin??? (Ashleigh, you can not answer these questions:)

I Am A Big Fan

I am a big fan of my husband. There are lots of reasons why. I was just thinking of some of them.

I am a big fan of a man who has been working so much, and realizes that he does not want to be that man who is ALWAYS working. I didn't have to tell him that. He doesn't like to miss out on his family. That's pretty cool.

I am a big fan of a man who would take his daughter's car to help her financially, but then give it back to her when she needed it back. He never complained and was glad to help her.

I am a big fan of a man who teases said daughter so much, but loves it because he loves her so much. (Hi Ashleigh!)

I am a big fan of a man whose family is so important that he started a business that he knew very little about so that he could employ his family members. He jumped in with both feet and learned everything about that business and as I would listen to him talk, I was amazed. Even I couldn't tell that just a short time before going into that business, this stuff had been foreign to him.

I am a big fan of a man who wins a trip for two in a contest. I sat and listened to our kids try to figure out which of them he would take. They did consider that their Dad might take me for a moment, but then for various reasons, each one explained why he would probably pick them. That is pretty cool to always think you are the favorite.

I am a big fan of a man who calls his wife to see when she is getting to church so he can make sure he comes out and helps get the wheelchair out of the truck.

Frankly, I am a big fan of a man who has loved me for the last (almost) 26 years.

Awesome Report from Sandy Cove

I just got the following letter from our TKCS Knightly News. I had told you Cheney is on a retreat with school and they sent the following report. Their words, not mine. I don't want to steal credit for writing:) It filled my eyes with tears as I read it. God is so good.

"Apparently, God Didn’t Get the Memo


As everyone knows, nighttime bonfires at Christian teen retreats are supposed to be carefully scripted and planned in advance. They’re supposed to start on time and end on time, with a few tears, a few yawns, and a few shallow commitments which everyone knows will soon fade away, some even before the campfire smoke clears. They’re supposed to be led by the adults, the grown-ups who know better and have years of experience staging worship experiences.

Tonight, here at Sandy Cove, apparently God had other plans.

Apparently, He didn’t even notice the sound system that was set up, because the kids didn’t use it. Instead, they raised their voices loudly in prayer, one by one, the young men first, the young ladies following, all praying openly and unashamedly for forgiveness, for God to work in their broken lives, for God to continue burning in their hearts in the days and year to come. They prayed for revival.

Apparently God forgot about the guitar that sat, unused, on the bench in the back. Instead, He filled the students’ hearts with the songs they have been singing for years. Chorus after chorus, hymn after hymn, about 25 or 30 different songs, one right after the other, for well over an hour and a half, all sung without instruments, without PowerPoint, without hymnals or song sheets, without thought to those around, only to the One being sung to.

Apparently, God wasn’t watching the clock or the color-coded retreat schedule, because the bonfire service wasn’t supposed to start until the pizza event was all over, and the chaperones rounded up the reluctant kids and urged them to the fire. Instead, the seniors took it on themselves to get the crowd moving to the hillside overlooking the bay, where they began singing, “Our God is an Awesome God,” over and over and over.

Apparently, God didn’t see the benches set up neatly in rows a few feet from the fire, because no one sat in them. Instead, they marched 200 yards across the field, arm-in-arm, singing the whole way, and directly to the fire, surrounding it, three people deep. For the next 90 minutes, some stood, some kneeled, some raised hands, some wrapped their arms around the one next to them, some drifted off to the hillside to cry or pray with a friend, and then rejoin the rest. Young men hugged each other, said “I love you,” and yet no one giggled.

Apparently, God forgot that the school’s Minister of Spiritual Life or maybe the retreat speaker, or at least some other adult is supposed to keep the “program” moving and keep the kids focused on God. Instead, God used the student body president, and a few other senior guys to do that. Guys? Since when are they the spiritual leaders in a Christian school? The adults just sat to the sides, quietly praying and letting God do what He was going to do.

Apparently, God forgot all of the standard protocols for Christian teen events.

Instead, He just showed up, got everything else out of the way, and did what only He can do—speak to the passionate, open young hearts of the next generation of disciples and world-changers.

Apparently, our job, as adults, isn’t to do God’s job for Him. He can do just fine on His Own. Instead, like the apostle Paul with young Timothy, we simply want to “fan into flame the gift of God,” by mentoring, encouraging, and discipling those who, tonight, worshipped God in spirit and in truth."

Time to Retreat

Cheney left this morning to head to his high school retreat. They will be heading down to Maryland for three days. They will have a guest speaker and lots of activities. It is always nice for my kids to be able to get away on a spiritual retreat. They always come back refreshed and pumped up!!

Meanwhile, things will be quiet at our house once again. With Alan working long hours, it is me and Davin for a good part of the day after school.

A New Van?

We are in the market for a van. Not just any van. We are in the market for a wheelchair accessible van. I have really mixed feelings about getting one, but I do know that it is time. Just a couple of weeks ago, Davin got a bunch of new parts for his wheelchair. It changed the whole thing. It changed it so much that I can no longer easily put the wheelchair into the back of my Jeep. I have been picking up wheelchairs and putting them in the back of my vehicles for almost 12 years, I guess. I know I look awkward doing it, but I was used to doing it and it was no biggy. But, now, when I lift the chair and have to put it in sideways, it's not good. I can tell I could really hurt myself and that is a big No No when you have a child who is not ambulatory. You can not have a hurt back!!! So, today there was a special showing of accessible vans at a special dealer and we went. I pretty much know what we are looking for, so that is not a problem. We also have some funding to make it MUCH easier to afford because all of the adaptations are VERY expensive. The biggest difference will be that I have to be careful where I park. I have to park where there is the big handicap strip (for the lift) and it has to be on the correct side of the van. I also wonder if it will take me a lot longer to put Davin in and out of the car with a lift. We shall see!

Davin is totally excited about getting a new van. Today, he wanted to go in lots of the vans. Any of them that had the ramp already out for him, he wanted to go in and he was so excited to sit in there and see if it had a television screen in it. He is so funny.

Thursday Thirteen

Today I will share 13 things about my favorite sister Jennifer.

1. Jen is my only sister.

2. She is 18 months younger than me.

3. She used to have straight hair, but every time she had a baby it switched. Back and forth, etc. It ended up being quite curly.

4. My sister now lives 15 minutes from my house:)

5. She is a nurse.

6. Jen is the only one in my family who went to college.

7. She loves m&ms of all kinds and calls them "vitamins". I love that I can go to her house and have a few vitamins whenever I feel I need them.

8. Jen has three children (including one that we nicknamed "the big-eyed baby" when he was little. Adorable.

9. I laugh so much when I am with her (especially when we go through a Wendy's drive-thru)

10. We have a lot of inside jokes and we always think they are really funny.

11. She does not highlight her hair, even though I tell her all the time that she would feel so much better if she did.

12. She is a godly woman and a very good example to me.

13. Jen is my best friend and has been for a very, very long time. I am so proud that she's my sister, even though I had nothing to do with it.

14. Jen married her "high school" sweetheart even though they parted ways for a while after high school.

15. She has been known to use a bit too much butter in recipes:)

16. She makes fantastic chicken and dumplings.

17. She is ALWAYS thinking of other people first.

18. My sister was a HUGE support while Davin was sick. Not only was she there as a sister, but since she is a nurse, I was able to ask her so many questions. She even was willing to come over the minute Davin got home from the hospital to show me how to work all of the equipment.

19. Jen saved up her own money to buy herself a bike when she was young.

20. She has a pair of yellow sandals that she calls her "happy shoes".

I do realize that is more than 13, so I will now call this, "Thirteen Thursday plus a little bit more".

My Sarah Palin Thoughts (Getting really real)

I really like Sarah Palin. I have enjoyed hearing about her and I agree with much of what she has to say. She seems strong, she seems loving and is very personable. I can not help but ponder some situations in her life right now that must feel quite overwhelming. (The nomination aside) Sarah is in the middle of three rather huge, life-changing times. I guess maybe I have been thinking so much about this, because when I have been in these three situations, it nearly took the breathe out of my lungs. I have dealt with these situations one at a time, she is in the midst of all three together and she is campaigning. Wow.

First off, SP is getting ready to say goodbye to her son as he heads off to Iraq. I can not say that I ever sent anyone to war, but I did say goodbye to my husband for 6 months at a time. Even without the war aspect, it took a huge amount of energy and time to keep up with my husband (write letters, send packages, pray). This is a huge event in the life of a family.

SP is also dealing with a huge diagnosis of her baby boy. I know that she knew about the diagnosis before his birth, but still...... it's HUGE!!! There are feelings to deal with, there are questions from people, there are initial doctor appointments, there are therapy appointments. All of these things are so burdensome, especially in the beginning when you are trying to deal with the diagnosis and your dreams of what life is supposed to be like. I remember the first year after Davin's diagnosis and I really can't put into words the amount of times that I felt crushed. It's huge and it changes many things. It is one thing to accept the diagnosis, but that is really just the beginning.

SP is also dealing with her daughter who is 17 years old and pregnant and I have heard is planning to marry her boyfriend. I have never been a mother of a pregnant daughter, but I have been the 17 year-old pregnant teen and have married my boyfriend. I can not tell you the amount of energy this crisis took. I do not know how much energy it took for my mom, but I can imagine it was a great deal. There are so many things to think through, there is the space distance. Will her daughter be far away and really need that advice from her Mom? It's such a difficult time.

As I have thought about these things in her life and how much she does represent normal life and difficult things that women go through, I can not stop and think that that is a lot on any person's plate. And then, what if you are asked to run for vice president of the United States?????? Oh my goodness.

6 Random Things About Me

I was tagged by Kristina. I do not know how to link her name in this post, so if you go to my sidebar, you can go to her sight. Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you (but I don't know how)
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. List 6 random facts about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
5. Let each person know they've been tagged by commenting on their blog
6. Let the tagger know the entry is posted on your blog


1. I am humming most all of the time. I always have some song in my head. Alot of the time it's "Bill Grogan's Goat". Did any of you sing that at camp when you were growing up??

2. I love to watch "The Office". It is so pathetic now that I am often quoting things from the show that apply to my life. It's sad. I do not watch my t.v., but like to watch this show on DVD.

3. I really like anklets. I don't wear them often, but I really like them.

4. I often do not get jokes. The other day someone asked my son if he still had his girlfriend and when he said, no, they asked what happened? Did she get glasses? For the rest of the night, I was thinking that Cheney must have said something to him before about not liking girls who wore glasses. Alan and Cheney found this very funny when it came up.

5. I used to have such a problem with worrying that I would throw up.

6. I LOVE highlights! If you don't have some, you should get some. They are fantastic!!!

I will tag Michelle, Melanie, Christine, Angie, Carla, and Kelli

A Washing Machine is a Beautiful Thing - especially if it is in your own house!

Since school has started back up, I am dedicated to working for our small construction company three mornings a week. Last year, this totally overwhelmed me. I could never get anything done in the house, it seemed and I wasn't caught up in my work, either. Thinking back to last year, I realized that for about 7 months, I guess, I did not have a functioning washing machine at my house. I would cart my laundry over to my wonderful sister's house (whom I am SO thankful for - she let me use her washing machine and NEVER made it seem like an inconvenience!) and that took me a couple of days a week to do that. Also, I was picking Davin up two days a week and taking him to PT. Before that, I had been taking him to speech two times a week for the last couple of years. This year, Davin is not attending extra therapy outside of school AND I have a washing machine that works beautifully and the best thing is, it's right in my house!!!! My stress level with working is SO much less because other things in my life are not quite as demanding of my time.

Ah, the Weekend

One of the best things about school starting is being able to enjoy the weekends in a different way. During the summer, they are sometimes not that different than any other day of the week. But, during the school year, it's so nice to be able to sleep in late (except when Rocky wakes me up early anyway) and figure out what we want to do for the day on Saturday. Today I think I may sit down and scrapbook. That is the plan anyway. A plan that is often thwarted. I have already made a batch of cookies, folded a load of laundry,fed Davin, and have a load of laundry in the washer.

First Day of School

Yesterday was the first day of school for both Cheney and Davin. Things seemed to go very well. Davin was a bit nervous and with good reason. This year, he is over in the high school wing of his school, he has a new teacher and he does not have his aide anymore. He has a new one. (Sobbing, sobbing) The sobbing is from me because I get so attached to the aides. It is like we have joint custody and I trust them to care for Davin for half of the day. Miss B had been with us for three years and she did such an excellent job with Davin and he ADORED her. I'm sure his new aide will be great, too, but it is a time of adjustment.

This year Cheney is president of his senior class, so he is already busy with meetings and things. I think he is excited about all of the activities he is involved with this year.

On a side note, did you all watch Sarah Palin last night? Did you see little Piper (her daughter) holding Sarah's youngest son? Oh my goodness. It was adorable enough when she was just holding him, but then she started smoothing his hair down and when that wasn't enough, she licked her hand and then smoothed his hair down some more. It was adorable!!!

Some Good Cheney Days:)

Lately Cheney and I have been having a rough road of it. Nothing terrible, just the normal tugging between a mom and her son who is 17. He is wanting to be a man and be independent and I am a bit concerned with some things in his life. I remember being nervous when Ashleigh only had a year left before college and wanting to instill as many things in her as I could. I am feeling that same way quite a bit lately.

HOWEVER, for the last three days I have had such a wonderful time with my son. We have seen each other alot in these last three days and we have talked alot, too. I am greatly encouraged by what I see in his life. I told Alan last night that it has been a while since I have had such a sweet time with Cheney boy, and it sure is nice. You know the drill. Some days are just tough as a parent. Some days are discouraging and you wonder if they will ever be all they can be. But, some days are great! Some days you see so much of their potential shining through and it does a mom's heart good. I'm really thankful for those rough days so that the good ones shine so brightly.

I have only one year left with Cheney before college. This is such an exciting time. Today we are talking about which colleges he is going to apply to. He has a list of about 6. I am hoping he will start working on the applications soon. He has begun lots of things for school although school has not started yet. I am going to enjoy this year with him.

Watch the new Charlotte's Web?? Absolutely not!!

As many of you know, I am an Awana girl. I love Awana. I think it's a fabulous program. I love serving the Lord through this venue. I generally teach in Sparkies which is K - 2nd graders. Love it, love it. So, the new Awana year is almost here and I was looking through my catalog to get my order ready. I knew they had changed some things and I would need to order some new materials. Did I mention I really like the way Awana has done things??? Okay, anyway, I was looking and looking and found everything I needed, but could not find the teaching materials. Every year I would teach The Green Meadowland Series and they went with the books the kids were working on. They had adorable characters and told a story about the fictional Sparky kids and then a Bible lesson. It had lots of visual flannel graph kind of things and again, I loved it. I could not find anything like that, so I called my friendly Awana operator. I asked if they had anything new for me to teach to go with the new book they came out with. She told me where it was and I looked. It is a little book and there are NO (sigh) visuals and no stories about Grumpella or Stephen. The woman on the phone told me that it is only Bible stories, but also has ideas for me. I explained to her that it is very hard to change. I did keep myself from screaming out that I didn't want them to change it and what in the world happened to Grumpella!!

After I got off the phone, I did the next logical thing. I called my sister and explained this terrible tragedy in my life (I am really exaggerating, but you get the point). She knows how I am about changing things and told me that this would be a perfect time for me to sit down and watch the new Charlotte's Web! I told her that I would never do that because the old one is so good and there was no reason for a new one. I am the same way with Willy Wonka. I do not want to watch the new one. Are you crazy? I asked my sister why people would need to change things when they are really perfectly fine and even excellent the way they are. My sister is not afraid of change and just explained to me that sometimes you need a change:) Oh, Jen!!

So, I have two choices. I can teach the old lessons or move on with the new lessons. Probably because I could vent to my sister, I will be able to move on and teach the new stuff and probably because Awana's materials are so excellent, it will probably be really good. For now, though, I am missing Grumpella.

Oh The Things Neurologists Say...

"He has cerebral palsy...any questions???"

That was my first experience with a pediatric neurologist. When Davin was one day shy of 7 months old, he saw his first neurologist and after checking Davin out and saying, "good, good, good" over and over again, he blurted out the comment above. You can imagine how I left that appointment. Not one of my better days. I was terrified to ever go back to a neurologist. I never made another appointment until my pediatrician or someone insisted that I needed to. For one appointment, I could not even make myself go. I had to make Alan go for me. It was just too hard. The neurologist crushed my world and I just couldn't stand going there and giving him the ability to crush my world again. It took me years to get over this.

Yesterday Davin had a neurologist appointment. I slept well the night before. I wasn't sick to my stomach. I hardly thought about it at all, except to figure out how I would be getting Cheney where he needed to be and how and when Davin could get to therapy. That's pretty cool. God has brought me a LONG way. To think back to the anxiety I had in those first years and then to walk in with no nervousness is a blessing. And to top everything off, the neurologist had some nice words for me. We had been there a while and she was checking Davin out and looked at his belly and saw that he does not have a g-tube. She said, "You really have done a good job with him. You really have."

I have to tell you that hearing those words was much nicer than that first appointment in June of 1993.

In Training

I have been so totally challenged lately concerning my walk with Christ. I feel Him pulling me closer and deeper in my relationship with Him and expecting more of me. (He may have been doing this all along, but I am just now listening.) God began tugging on my heart a while ago and everywhere I go, it seems that I am reminded of my walk and what I can do to be a more devoted follower of my Lord and Savior.

I have been watching Michael Phelps and his swimming. He has spent so much time training. He has been so dedicated and driven to accomplish his goal. As he has gotten farther and farther, his goals became bigger and bigger. What if I do this? What if I go into serious training as a disciple? What if I spend hours and hours every day reading God's word, spending time talking to Him, and listening to what He has for me? What would my walk look like then? I am running a race, so why am I not training harder?


1 Corinthians 9:24-27 says:
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. they do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.